Wednesday, December 22, 2004

The Holiness of Marriage

God commands His people to be holy:

But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation; Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy. I Peter 1:15-16

God doesn’t ask the impossible, we can’t make ourselves holy, but the Bible goes on to tell us that Christians are holy:

Ye also, as lively stones, are built up a spiritual house, an holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices, acceptable to God by Jesus Christ. I Peter 2:5

How did we get to be holy? Was it by our own merits, was it by our built-in goodness? Did we earn it? In a word, no.

Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God. I Corinthians 6:9-11

Romans 3:23 and 5:12 teach that all have sinned. Romans 3:10 teaches that there are none righteous, but that we Christians are washed, we are sanctified, that is, made holy, in the name of the Lord Jesus. Jesus sanctifies His people, that is, it’s Jesus who makes us holy. Jesus prayed to His father:

Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth. As thou hast sent me into the world, even so have I also sent them into the world. And for their sakes I sanctify myself, that they also might be sanctified through the truth. John 17:17-19

We are sanctified through the truth the sacrifice of the blood of Jesus Christ:

By the which will we are sanctified through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once for all. Hebrews 10:10

Wherefore Jesus also, that he might sanctify the people with his own blood, suffered without the gate. Hebrews 13:21

Some of you may remember the old hymn "He died that we might be forgiven, He died to make us good, that we might go at last to heaven, saved by His precious blood." The Bible teaches that blood is very important to God:

Whereupon neither the first testament was dedicated without blood. For when Moses had spoken every precept to all the people according to the law, he took the blood of calves and of goats, with water, and scarlet wool, and hyssop, and sprinkled both the book, and all the people, saying, This is the blood of the testament which God hath enjoined unto you. Moreover he sprinkled with blood both the tabernacle, and all the vessels of the ministry. And almost all things are by the law purged with blood; and without shedding of blood is no remission. Hebrews 9:18-22

Moses sprinkled the book of the law, that is, the Bible, and sprinkled the people as a sign that they would obey the Word of God. All of the equipment of the temple was sanctified to God by being sprinkled with blood. The Bible goes on to say, "And almost all things are by the law purged with blood…" Blood sanctifies and purifies:

For if the blood of bulls and of goats, and the ashes of an heifer sprinkling the unclean, sanctifieth to the purifying of the flesh: how much more shall the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself without spot to God, purge your conscience from dead works to serve the living God? Hebrews 9:13-14

We Christians are sanctified once and for all by the blood of Christ, but before Christ’s death, people had to sanctify themselves so they could come close to God. Just before He gave the 10 commandments, God told the people to sanctify themselves:

And the LORD said unto Moses, Go unto the people, and sanctify them to day and to morrow, and let them wash their clothes, and be ready against the third day: for the third day the LORD will come down in the sight of all the people upon mount Sinai. Exodus 19:10

There were people in the early church who believed that anything pertaining to the flesh was unclean. Is marriage unclean? Does coming together in marriage unsanctify you? The Apostle Paul had to deal with this question. He wrote:

Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. Hebrews 13:4

Note the emphasis, marriage is honorable in all, everything related to marriage is honorable. Saying "in all" ought to have been enough, but lots of people must think that there’s something wrong with marriage, because God also said, "and the bed undefiled."

Marriage is distracting, abstinence might be beneficial during a time of prayer and fasting and focus on God, but marriage is not defiled. Not only that, marriage to a Christian sanctifies an unbeliever:

For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. I Corinthians 7:14

Marrying a Christian doesn’t give an unsaved person a "get out of hell free" card, but it brings sanctification. The Bible commands that Christians not join with sinners; the popular saying is that one rotten apple spoils the barrel. This passage teaches that the marriage bond overrides the general command to separate from unbelievers because marriage is holy. What does it mean for the couple’s children to be holy? We’ll look at that in a bit.

We’ve seen that marriage is honorable and the bed is undefiled, that is, marriage does not damage sanctification, but sharing a bed defiles those who come together outside marriage:

For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: I Thessalonians 4:3

God wants us to be sanctified, fornication, that is sexual union outside marriage, tears down our sanctification. There’s more:

What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh. I Corinthians 6:16

Paul is saying that husband and wife are joined in marriage into one sanctified flesh; when a man joins himself to a harlot outside marriage, he pollutes the sanctification that God intends for his marriage. Let’s see what follows I Thessalonians 4:3

For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: that every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honor; not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God: … For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness. I Thessalonians 4:3-5, 7

Christians debate whether "vessel" refers to the man’s body or to his wife’s body. It’s true that a man should take care of his body, but it’s not reasonable to speak of a man "possessing" his body. I don’t possess my body, I am my body. Looking at other uses of the word helps understand difficult passages. The Greek word for "vessel" is used in one other place in the Bible:

For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement. Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. I Peter 3:5-7

"Vessel" refers to the wife which makes sense, a "vessel" contains something. In the marriage relationship, the husband’s body gives and the wife’s body contains. "Vessel" refers to the wife, so I’m commanded to possess my wife in honor and sanctification. Before we go into that, let’s look at this "vessel" passage a bit more. After pointing out that Sarah called Abraham "lord," the Bible says "likewise." God expects husbands to dwell with wives according to knowledge as wives call their husbands "lord." What does it mean for a wife to call her husband "lord?" Does it mean that men are kings and wives are servants? In a word, No. Jesus said:

Ye call me Master and Lord: and ye say well; for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another's feet. For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you. John 13:13-15

A wife’s calling her husband "lord" means that he’s to serve her, not that she’s to serve him. There’s more proof of this:

If any man desire to be first, the same shall be last of all and servant of all Mark 9:35

God wants His leaders to serve their followers. Who leads the most, that is, who’s expected to serve the most, in marriage?

But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. I Corinthians 11:3

The passage starts with "The head of every man is Christ." Jesus commands His people to lead through sacrificial service; He served us by sacrificing Himself and by washing His disciples’ feet, He’s the greatest servant of all. A man’s loving, serving, sacrificial headship of his wife should be just like Christ’s loving, serving, sacrificial headship over him. The Bible gives more:

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: for we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. Ephesians 5:25-33

Men are sanctified members of Christ, a wife is a sanctified member of her husband’s flesh and of his bones (Genesis 2:23). Men are commanded to sanctify wives as Christ sanctifies the church. A wife calling her husband "lord" burdens him, not her. A man doesn’t’ deserve to lead his wife, she’s a gift of God. John 10:29 says that God gives Christians to Jesus, we’re God’s gift to Christ. Proverbs 18:22 says that a wife is God’s gift to her husband. A man’s leadership is a gift from God, he doesn’t earn it. God’s gifts must always be treated according to God’s rules. As Christ sanctifies His church; men are commanded to learn how to sanctify their wives:

For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: that every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honor; not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God: … For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness. I Thessalonians 4:3-5, 7

Christ sanctifies the church God gave Him, a husband must know how to honor and sanctify the wife God gave him. First, let’s look at what the Bible says about how not to possess a wife. The passage says, "not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God:" The word "lust" means "intense or unrestrained craving" which is what animals do. There’s nothing wrong with a man desiring his wife, but he’s supposed to control his desire, it’s not supposed to control him. The Bible says:

I am my beloved’s and his desire is toward me. Song of Solomon 7:10

The Hebrew word "desire" in this verse is used in Genesis 3:16 where God told Eve that her desire would be toward her husband. My wife’s desire to belong to me and my desire to possess her are both of God and both are good. The word "concupiscence" is used to translate a Hebrew word which means "controlling, overwhelming desire." The problem isn’t when a man desires his wife, the problem comes when desire rules him so that he doesn’t care about her feelings or wishes. God’s people aren’t supposed to be ruled by the flesh, we’re supposed to be ruled by the Spirit. If I desires my wife without honoring or sanctifying her, I’m acting purely in the flesh like a man who doesn’t know God or like an animal which knows only desire. In addition to desiring my wife, I must know how to honor and sanctify her so that I can possess her as God commands.

"Honor" means "high respect, as that shown for special merit; esteem: the honor shown to a Nobel laureate." Some words that mean the same are "reverence," "veneration," and "deference." Honoring a wife requires that a husband treat her as having special merit, venerate her, and defer to her needs. "What?" say the men, "give her what she thinks she needs? Letting her choose the biggest piece if she wants it?" That’s what the Bible says. Remember the other "vessel" verse?

Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. I Peter 3:7

This verse commands that a man honor his wife "as unto a weaker vessel." God knows that men are stronger than women, instead of a man feeling contempt for his wife’s weakness, he’s to honor her for it. Men, in any area where you’re strong, wherever you have a gift that your wife doesn’t, you’re to honor her and uphold her and cover for her in her areas of weakness. It’s obvious that most men are stronger than their wives, so the men should carry groceries and other burdens. Honoring a wife means treating her as special, deferring to her needs, helping her, and upholding her weaknesses in areas wherever you’re strong.

I know a wife who keeps losing car keys. Her husband fussed at her for a while, then he decided to take care of it, he bought 3 sets of keys. That was almost enough, but not quite, he bought a 4th set. With 4 sets of car keys she can always find one and get going. Whenever he finds keys lying around, he puts them back where they belong. She does the other cleaning, he asks her whenever he wants to find anything else, but car keys, she can’t find. He honors her weakness by taking care of the keys.

After honor, what does it mean to "dwell according to knowledge?" I’ve taken medicine where the label says, "Use according to directions." That means read the directions and do what they say. How does a man dwell with his wife "according to knowledge?" He listens to her, talks with her so that he knows what she’s saying, and acts on what she says.

God’s serious about expecting me to listen to my wife. If I don’t use medicine according to directions, I might die. If I don’t dwell with my wife according to knowledge of her, if I don’t give her honor, my prayers are hindered. This doesn’t mean my prayers are ignored, it means that my prayers won’t work as well as they should. Here’s why. God made women to help men. If I don’t listen to my helpmeet, why would God believe I’d listen to Him if He answered my prayers? Suppose I’m praying for more business. My wife, my God-given helper, makes a suggestion and I ignore her. Why should God pay attention to my prayers if I don’t listen to the answer He already gave me through her? When Pilate was judging Jesus, his wife did her best to keep him out of trouble:

When he was set down on the judgment seat, his wife sent unto him, saying, Have thou nothing to do with that just man: for I have suffered many things this day in a dream because of him. Matthew 27:19

Isn’t that just like a woman, expecting her husband to pay attention to her dreams! But he should have listened carefully!

"Listen" doesn’t mean, "obey." A man must listen to his wife and learn from her, which means understanding her point of view. He hasn’t understood her until she understands him. When my wife’s satisfied that I’ve understood her and that I’ve explained my thoughts to her, she’s sometimes content with what we decide just because she’s been heard. Suppose your doctor found you had a disease that would kill you unless you did something very complicated. No matter how hard it is, you’d listen very carefully and ask questions to be sure you got it because if you get it wrong, you die. That’s how God expects you to listen to your wife.

A woman doesn’t feel honored unless a man acts on what she says. God doesn’t expect a man to understand his wife, He expects him to know her and take care of her. My wife can’t sleep if our quilt isn’t on the bed the right way. She gets out of bed and turns the quilt, then she turns the quilt above it and so on. I couldn’t tell the top of the quilt from the bottom. One day she found a tag on the quilt. She said, "Put the tag here." I still can’t tell the top of the quilt from the bottom, but the tag I can find. I put the tag where she wants it and the pattern takes care of itself.

Do I understand this? I do not. But I know it, I know where she wants the tag, so I put the tag where she wants it. This makes her feel loved for two reasons: a) she doesn’t have to move the quilt, and b) she knows it makes no sense to me, she knows I don’t care, she knows I do it just for her. When a man does something just to make his wife happy, she likes it, it makes her feel loved, which, done many times per day, makes her glad to belong to him as in Song of Solomon 7:10.

There’s a subtlety, the Song of Solomon starts with the woman praising the man. A wife has to teach her husband how to praise her, men can be pretty clueless about what women want. When I first went shopping my wife was surprised. She said, "Why’d you buy this?" I said, "You wanted beans." "I said green beans, these are kidney beans." She wanted tomato sauce and I got tomato paste, I got cabbage instead of lettuce because it was cheaper. Men and women care about different things. Lettuce versus cabbage which doesn’t matter at all to me is important to my wife. But men, before you think women are unreasonable, think about asking her to buy car parts. Does your wife care about spark plugs? If you do care, you better say exactly what you want down to the part number before sending her out. My wife learned to write down brands and label colors when asking me to get groceries.

She could’ve gotten angry about the beans, but she spoke kindly to me and taught me how to care for her. She found a way to make her world of quilts meet my world. I couldn’t join her in her world of patterns, but she found a tag where I could join her, she met me halfway. I wasn’t totally ignorant, I knew it was better to make her happy than to make her unhappy, so I received her teaching and loved her for it. Women, if a man tries to help you and you fuss at him, he’s less likely to help you next time, it’s better to find a way to teach him how to make you happy than to fuss. There’s a saying that you can tell how long a man’s been married by how fast he runs out of the kitchen if he has to go there. This isn’t because it’s "her territory," it’s because she’s fussed at him there.

I admit that my being in the kitchen causes confusion, but she’s taught me to avoid really bad mistakes and my being in the kitchen gives her attention she wouldn’t get if I weren’t eager to be with her, even while she cooks.

Honoring my wife taught me that she can’t make honor, she can’t create love, she can’t make respect. But if I give her honor, if I give her love, if I give her respect, she multiplies them and reflects them back to me. A wife is a mirror, not a light, she can’t make honor, but she can sure multiply it. Every bit of respect I’ve given her, I’ve gotten back tenfold as she multiplies it. A happy wife fills the house with love and light, but her husband primes her pump by loving and honoring her first.

Men tell me, "My wife’s not worthy of honor." Sorry, guys, the Bible doesn’t say to give honor unto the wife as she deserves it or as she earns it, it says to give honor to the wife, it’s a gift of grace. The man should lead his home. God’s leaders lead by example. If a man wants honor, he should honor his wife so she can multiply it. Jesus multiplies our efforts as He multiplied the loaves and fishes but we have to get with His program. A man gets honor by giving his wife honor first, he gets love and respect the same way.

That’s how a man honors his wife, he listens to her, understands her, helps her understand him, and defers to her needs. But that’s not enough for God, the man must possess his wife in both honor and sanctification. What about sanctification? One meaning of "sanctify" is "to set apart for sacred use; consecrate." A man must set his wife apart from all others. The husband vows to be faithful to his wife, of course, but he must also treat her as special and set her apart from all other women:

There are threescore queens, and fourscore concubines, and virgins without number. My dove, my undefiled is but one; she is the only one of her mother, she is the choice one of her that bare her. Song of Solomon 6:8

This man loves his wife so much that she’s the only woman in the world for him, there are women all over the place, but he’s telling everyone he knows that she’s the only one who matters. She’s but one, he’s sanctified her. How does a man do that? Read the Song of Solomon, you’ll see that the man praises his wife in detail. He praises her voice, her eyes, face, breasts, teeth, lips, navel, neck, feet, thighs, hands, and her nose. In fact, he says he likes everything about her:

Thou art all fair, my love; there is no spot in thee. Song of Solomon 4:7

What if there were a war and someone sent a spy who looked and acted like your wife’s double. Could you tell a stranger enough about your wife that he could tell which was your wife and which was the spy? Men, have you told your wives how much you appreciate every little detail? Sanctifying a woman means making sure that she knows you’ve set her apart, you have to tell her what makes her different from all the other women in the world, you have to tell her what makes her special to you and why you love all the little detail about her, that she’s "all fair, there’s no spot in thee."

Try detailed compliments, men, you’ll probably find that the little details that please you most are areas where she feels inadequate or insecure. We’d been married ten years before my wife told me that she’d always thought that certain parts of her figure were the wrong size. It took ten years of praise before she could ask me about it, even though I’d given her every reason to think I liked her a lot. Genesis 3:16 says that a woman’s desire is to her husband, one thing she desires is huge amounts of detailed praise. Proverbs 31:28 commands me to give her that praise; the Song of Solomon teaches me how to praise her. It’s all in the details.

But there’s more. "Sanctify" also means "To make holy; to purify." We know what purity is in marriage, that is, faithfulness between husband and wife, but what about "holy?" Is marriage holy?

How many of you’ve been to a wedding? The preacher opens with, "Dearly beloved, we are gathered in the sight of God to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony." The preacher thinks marriage is holy, do you? God commanded marriage, it’s important to God, does that make marriage holy? The Bible says that blood sanctifies:

And almost all things are by the law purged with blood; and without shedding of blood is no remission. Hebrews 9:22

"Almost all things" are purged with blood. The blood of Christ purges us of sin and makes us holy, what about marriage? There’s confusion today about what marks a marriage. God doesn’t give us a formula to go through to make us married, but He does tell us the defining moment when a couple becomes husband and wife:

And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death. Genesis 24:67

Isaac and Rebekah were married the moment he took her, but they wouldn’t have been married without prior commitment. Rebekah promised to marry Isaac and he promised to marry whomever the servant found, that’s why they were married when he took her.

What about sanctification? When a man and woman come together for the first time, her blood is shed. This blood, which the Bible calls the woman’s "tokens of virginity," sanctifies her marriage if her man takes her in marriage, otherwise it’s just blood and they profane what should be God’s sacred marriage. Marriage is God’s holy covenant which is sealed and sanctified by the woman’s blood. That’s not all, there’s more sanctification in marriage than just the marriage itself:

For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. I Corinthians 7:14

The mother sanctifies her child’s birth by shedding her blood. A woman sheds her blood to sanctify her marriage and she sheds her blood to sanctify her children, that is, to make them holy. There’s no need to baptize babies, they’ve been sanctified to God by their mother’s shed blood. Childbearing sanctifies the mother if she follows God’s program:

Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety. I Tim 2:15

There’s yet more. Every month she’s not pregnant, a woman’s womb cleans itself at the end of her monthly cycle. Every month, her shed blood sanctifies her womb to prepare a place where God can mould and make a sanctified child. Every month, a woman who’s fallen into sin has a chance to start over again in purity if she repents from her fornication.

A man’s supposed to honor and sanctify his wife when he possesses her. Honor and sanctification are matters of the heart, it’s hard for a man to honor his wife properly if he doesn’t honor God first. If a man possesses his wife in pure desire without sanctifying her, the Bible says he’s acting like those who don’t know God.

There’s one final definition of "sanctify," and that’s "To make productive of holiness or spiritual blessing." When a man sanctifies his wife, that is, he possesses her in honor, and makes her feel special, she’ll delight in belonging to him, she’ll delight in his possessing her. This is hard for most wives to believe, but a husband’s possession is supposed to make his wife happy:

His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me. Song of Solomon 8:3

This woman wants her husband to possess her, she delights in belonging to him. Why? Because he praises her, he honors her, he appreciates her, he’s sanctified her in detail. Men, having a woman delight in being yours is a blessing indeed.

We’ve been told that most couples fornicate, that is, they come together before they’re married. This pollutes and defiles the marriage which God expected them to sanctify. What happens when men pollute the holy things of God? Ever hear the phrase "handwriting on the wall?" That’s from the Bible, let’s turn to Daniel chapter 5 and see what it was all about:

Belshazzar the king made a great feast to a thousand of his lords, and drank wine before the thousand. Belshazzar, whiles he tasted the wine, commanded to bring the golden and silver vessels which his father Nebuchadnezzar had taken out of the temple which was in Jerusalem; that the king, and his princes, his wives, and his concubines, might drink therein. Then they brought the golden vessels that were taken out of the temple of the house of God which was at Jerusalem; and the king, and his princes, his wives, and his concubines, drank in them. They drank wine, and praised the gods of gold, and of silver, of brass, of iron, of wood, and of stone. Daniel 5:1-4

The king used the holy vessels from God’s holy temple in a drunken orgy. What happened?

In the same hour came forth fingers of a man's hand, and wrote over against the candlestick upon the pilaster of the wall of the king's palace: and the king saw the part of the hand that wrote. Then the king's countenance was changed, and his thoughts troubled him, so that the joints of his loins were loosed, and his knees smote one against another. Daniel 5:5-6

The king polluted God’s holy vessels. He saw the handwriting on the wall and was afraid. The king offered a reward to anyone who could read the writing. Nobody could, they were at a loss until the queen remembered Daniel. The king called Daniel who said he’d read the writing. Let’s pick up in verse 18:

O thou king, the most high God gave Nebuchadnezzar thy father a kingdom, and majesty, and glory, and honor: ... But when his heart was lifted up, and his mind hardened in pride, he was deposed from his kingly throne, and they took his glory from him: and he was driven from the sons of men; and his heart was made like the beasts, and his dwelling was with the wild asses: ... And thou his son, O Belshazzar, hast not humbled thine heart, though thou knewest all this; but hast lifted up thyself against the Lord of heaven; and they have brought the vessels of his house before thee, and thou, and thy lords, thy wives, and thy concubines, have drunk wine in them; and thou hast praised the gods of silver, and gold, of brass, iron, wood, and stone, which see not, nor hear, nor know: and the God in whose hand thy breath is, and whose are all thy ways, hast thou not glorified: then was the part of the hand sent from him; and this writing was written. And this is the writing that was written, MENE, MENE, TEKEL, UPHARSIN. This is the interpretation of the thing: MENE; God hath numbered thy kingdom, and finished it. TEKEL; Thou art weighed in the balances, and art found wanting. PERES; Thy kingdom is divided, and given to the Medes and Persians. Daniel 5:18-28

Belshazzar polluted God’s holy vessels even though he knew better; God destroyed his kingdom. Hosea 4:6 says "My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge." Couples today aren’t taught how seriously God takes marriage, are marriages being destroyed?

What happens when men and women profane God’s holy marriage? God doesn’t force us to do His will, He sets us free to choose to sin, but what happens? When the Children of Israel were in the desert, the Bible says:

But [the Children of Israel] lusted exceedingly in the wilderness, and tempted God in the desert. And he gave them their request; but sent leanness into their soul. Psalm 106:14-15

When couples lust exceedingly for the pleasures of sin, God gives their requests, they get short-term pleasure, but God sends leanness into their marriages. Everything you see, DVDs, videos, magazines, what people do in movies or on TV, everything says that men and women were made for the pleasures of the flesh. Godly marriage offers great pleasure, but there’s a spiritual part to marriage. When couples profane God’s marriage, He sends leanness into their souls, when a woman profanes her womb by having an abortion, God sends leanness into her soul. God offers forgiveness, mercy, grace, and healing, but couples need to know to ask for it. What if they marry after he takes her, doesn’t that make it all right? Let’s see how fornication brings leanness into marriage:

For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man. I Corinthians 11:8-9

God made women so that they want to belong to men. Why did God do this? The Bible explains why God made marriage:

Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. Psalm 127:3

God wants children, He created marriage as a safe place for children to grow up. God wants children to have fathers, one way to help children have fathers is for God to create women so that a woman clings to a man who takes her. When a man possesses a woman, she feels dependent on him. If he’s married her, if he’s sanctified her, she can accept his possession, but if they aren’t married or if he doesn’t praise, honor, and sanctify her, she has a very hard time giving herself to him as freely as they both want.

Halfway through her senior year, a young lady we know was ready to run away from home. She said, "There’s times when my dad explodes at anything I do, I bring the laundry through his room and he’ll swear at me. There’s other times when he’s so mellow nothing bothers him, but mom’s on edge, anything I do makes her mad at me."

Let’s see what the Bible says. Ruth had just told Naomi that Boaz had said he was ready to marry her. What did Naomi say?

Then said she, Sit still, my daughter, until thou know how the matter will fall: for the man will not be in rest, until he have finished the thing this day. Ruth 3:18

The man will not be in rest. Why was Boaz not in rest? Because he wanted Ruth. Our friend’s parents had fornicated before marriage; this wrecked their trust in each other. He knew she couldn’t resist him, he didn’t trust her to resist other men. She knew that he hadn’t sanctified her, she knew that he hadn’t promised to take care of her, she knew he had no right to take her, he was a thief, she didn’t trust him. She tried to avoid making love which made him uptight. When they did make love, he was mellow, but she was upset because she didn’t like feeling dependent.

Possessing his vessel in honor and sanctification is supposed to bring rest to both husband and wife, the husband because it means that his wife likes belonging to him and his wife because it reminds her how much he delights in her. But if she’s not sanctified, it fills her with fear so that she tries to avoid his possessiveness and may even walk out. Marrying her doesn’t fix the problem.

I know many Christian couples who fornicated before marriage, some have put it right and some have not. The solution is as simple as accepting salvation. Sinners must confess their sin, repent, and ask Christ to cleanse them in order to be saved. Healing a marriage from fornication involves two people, not one. They must recognize their sin of polluting God’s plan of marriage, confess to each other, forgive each other, confess to God together, and receive His forgiveness as one flesh. The Bible says:

Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. James 5:16

When you hear that a couple had sex before marriage, you must explain gently that they have to make it right with each other and then make it right with God, confession and prayer work together for healing. Confession, forgiveness, and prayer heal the marriage. So long as the foundation of the marriage is broken, that is, so long as either party won’t confess the fornication to the other and to God, I don’t believe anything can set the marriage on God’s path. Getting right with God is the first step; other improvements follow.

It’s humbling for a man to confess to God and to his wife that he wronged her, but that’s the first step in getting things right.

Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up. James 4:10

God promises to lift me out of my sin, but I have to humble myself by confessing first, I have to take the first step.

Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. James 4:8

God wants to draw Himself close to us, but we have to take the first step, then He’ll do His part.

What does a woman do if the man won’t confess and put things right? I know a Christian couple who were living together, they planned to marry "someday," but had decided not to wait. After he took her, he somehow stopped talking about marriage. She realized that they were doing wrong, told him of her conviction, and stopped. She didn’t leave the apartment, she moved to another bedroom, but she’s stayed pure.

Do I believe she stopped? Mutual friends tell me how uptight and short-tempered he’s become. He’s not in rest because she quit giving him rest. Another reason I believe her, he’s started talking about marriage again. I just hope that he confesses and learns to sanctify her before they marry, marriage with a broken foundation won’t bring much improvement.

God wants every couple to taste the joys of heaven right here on earth. God designed marriage to bring joy, but you must do it God’s way, husband and wife must come together in honor and sanctification. God’s formula may not seem reasonable, but there’s great reward. Marriage prospers when a man treats his wife as God’s precious, sacred, holy gift to him and she acts like God’s precious, sacred, holy gift to him, marriage prospers when both parties thank each other and praise each other and sanctify each other as they thank and praise God. That’s God’s Simple Plan for Marriage, nothing else works as well.

What the Bible Teaches About Leadership

Hymn: God leads his dear children along

We’re going to talk about leadership. Everyone leads at one time or another. Pastors lead churches, husbands lead families, wives lead children, and children lead their friends from time to time. The dictionary defines "leadership" as "guidance or direction," a "leader" is someone who leads or guides. We’re not talking about government, government doesn’t "guide," it "rules."

Submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord's sake: whether it be to the king, as supreme; or unto governors, as unto them that are sent by him for the punishment of evildoers, and for the praise of them that do well. I Peter 2:13-14

George Washington said, "Government is not reason and it is not eloquence. It is force! Like fire it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master." To govern is not to persuade through reason, it’s to ensure obedience through force or the threat of force. Columnist George Will wrote on April 7, 2004, "the first task of government (is) to establish a monopoly on violence." "Monopoly of violence" means that only the government is allowed to be violent, those of us who believe in guns don’t trust any human government to use force wisely. In 1890, John James Ingalls said, "The purification of politics is a dream. Government is force." The Bible agrees:

For rulers are not a terror to good works, but to the evil. Wilt thou then not be afraid of the power? do that which is good, and thou shalt have praise of the same: for he is the minister of God to thee for good. But if thou do that which is evil, be afraid; for he beareth not the sword in vain: for he is the minister of God, a revenger to execute wrath upon him that doeth evil. Rom 13:3-4

This verse is often used to argue that God commands the death penalty, another example of government by force. The Bible speaks of "terror" and says government "bears the sword" for wrath. Government isn’t guidance, it’s coercion. We obey government, but what government does isn’t leadership, it’s force. Leaders guide, governments force. Employment isn’t necessarily leadership either:

Honor all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the king. Servants, be subject to your masters with all fear; not only to the good and gentle, but also to the froward. I Peter 2:17-18

When you accept pay, you’re selling your boss the right to tell you what to do. So long as government and bosses don’t tell us to go against the Word of God, we owe them obedience. We obey bosses in return for money, we obey government by command of God.

If we’re not talking about government or employment, what sorts of leadership are there? Every one of us leads. A pastor leads a church, a man leads his family. I Tim. 5:14 says that women "guide the house," and "guiding" is what leaders do. Children also lead, I’ve seen older children leading younger ones, I’ve watched our more mature teens lead other teens, and so on. We all lead at one time or another. How we lead makes all the difference in how successful we are. Let’s see an example from the Bible:

And David longed, and said, Oh that one would give me drink of the water of the well of Bethlehem, which is by the gate! And the three mighty men brake through the host of the Philistines, and drew water out of the well of Bethlehem, that was by the gate, and took it, and brought it to David: nevertheless he would not drink thereof, but poured it out unto the LORD. And he said, Be it far from me, O LORD, that I should do this: is not this the blood of the men that went in jeopardy of their lives? Therefore he would not drink it. These things did these three mighty men. II Samuel 23:15-17

David was careless in what he said. David "longed" for a drink of Bethlehem water. He didn’t demand, he didn’t ask, but his "mighty men" risked their lives to give him his wish because they wanted to please him. They carried out David’s wish because they loved him, not just because he was above them in the army. When you lead, watch what you say, you may get more obedience than you wanted. The Bible tells wives to submit to their husbands and tells children to obey their parents, but the Bible puts limits on leaders. Ephesians 6:4 tells fathers not to "provoke your children to wrath," that is, don’t abuse your authority as David abused his.

All of you have worked for bosses. I’ve had bosses whom I obeyed willingly and for whom I looked for ways to help and I’ve had bosses who were so nasty that it was dangerous to try to help, I’d get yelled at. Which sort of boss gets your best work, the one who explains things to you and gives you freedom to do your best as unto the Lord for him or the one who yells?

Although the Bible and history both say that government is force, coercion, and terror, force alone cannot make government work. At the time the Berlin wall fell as the East German government collapsed in 1990, about 1/3 of the East German people were working for the government as spies, police, informers, or busybodies of one form or another. Even though 1/3 of the people worked for it, the government fell when people decided not to obey any more. As a practical matter, force works on only a few people at a time, when too many people decide not to go along, any government falls. If people lose confidence in a leader, he can’t lead any more.

I. Wise governments and wise bosses earn loyalty. You can command obedience, but commanding isn’t enough, a leader has to earn loyalty. How does a leader do that? We’ve seen that David’s followers loved him and wanted to make him happy, let’s look at some more Biblical leaders and see what they did. Paul was the greatest church planter ever, what did he do?

For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad. Knowing therefore the terror of the Lord, we persuade men; II Cor. 5:10-11a

II Leader Paul persuaded men that his ideas were best even with heaven or hell in the balance. He didn’t use ridicule or sarcasm, he didn’t confront or force, he persuaded. Not that Paul was afraid of confrontation, Galatians 2:11 says that Paul withstood Peter "to his face." Paul got in Peter’s face when Peter was wrong, but that’s not how we’re supposed to lead under normal circumstances:

And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient, in meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth; and that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will. II Timothy 2:24-26

"Meekness" is defined as "a calm temper of mind that is not easily provoked." Leaders are not to strive, that is, they must stay calm and shouldn’t argue. They have to teach patiently and gently. You’ve had bosses who taught you how to do the job and bosses who yelled at you and expected you to know things you didn’t. Which type of leader gets your best work?

Let’s look at leadership again, this time by reading what God said about followers. Paul was a leader, and he said:

Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ. I Corinthians 11:1

Paul didn’t expect people to follow him unconditionally, he knew he was a sinner and that people should follow him only as he pointed them at Christ. Ephesians 5:1 makes this clear, it says, "Be ye therefore followers of God." Let’s look at other followers:

Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Ephesians 5:24

A wife’s submission is not unconditional, she’s supposed to follow her husband as the church follows Christ. For this to work, her husband must lead her as Christ leads the church. Let’s look at some examples of how God leads His people:

And the LORD went before them by day in a pillar of a cloud, to lead them the way; and by night in a pillar of fire, to give them light; to go by day and night: He took not away the pillar of the cloud by day, nor the pillar of fire by night, from before the people. Exodus 13:21-22

What does this teach about leadership? III The leader must know where he’s going. IV God led the people day by day, every day. God didn’t expect the people to know where to go, He showed them, every day. God told Noah exactly how to build the ark and told Moses exactly how to build the tabernacle, a leader goes into detail when it matters. V A leader should also explain why:

Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool. If ye be willing and obedient, ye shall eat the good of the land: but if ye refuse and rebel, ye shall be devoured with the sword: for the mouth of the LORD hath spoken it. Isaiah 1:18-20

God used logic and reason in explaining how His forgiveness worked. If His followers followed His rules, if they got with His program, their sins would be forgiven and things would go well, but if not, they were in for trouble. What could be more logical? God also used reason when He told Abraham that He planned to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah:

And Abraham drew near, and said, Wilt thou also destroy the righteous with the wicked? Peradventure there be fifty righteous within the city: wilt thou also destroy and not spare the place for the fifty righteous that are therein? That be far from thee to do after this manner, to slay the righteous with the wicked: and that the righteous should be as the wicked, that be far from thee: Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right? Genesis 18:23-25

VI Leaders must tell people what’s going on. God gave Abraham a briefing, and Abraham had questions. Abraham pointed out that killing good and bad people together would be unjust. This was a good argument because God values justice. VII Leaders must explain overall policies so people will know when the plan won’t work. Pres. Nixon told his people that he wanted to be reelected, but he didn’t make it clear that burglary was out of bounds. He had to go, not because he himself did wrong, but because he didn’t make sure his people knew he wanted them to stay within the law. Let’s continue with Abraham’s discussion with God:

And the LORD said, If I find in Sodom fifty righteous within the city, then I will spare all the place for their sakes. And Abraham answered and said, Behold now, I have taken upon me to speak unto the LORD, which am but dust and ashes: peradventure there shall lack five of the fifty righteous: wilt thou destroy all the city for lack of five? And he said, If I find there forty and five, I will not destroy it. And he spake unto him yet again, and said, Peradventure there shall be forty found there. And he said, I will not do it for forty's sake. And he said unto him, Oh let not the LORD be angry, and I will speak: Peradventure there shall thirty be found there. And he said, I will not do it, if I find thirty there. And he said, Behold now, I have taken upon me to speak unto the LORD: Peradventure there shall be twenty found there. And he said, I will not destroy it for twenty's sake. And he said, Oh let not the LORD be angry, and I will speak yet but this once: Peradventure ten shall be found there. And he said, I will not destroy it for ten’s sake. Genesis 18:26-32

VIII Good leaders accept input. God and Abraham finally agreed on a plan – 10 good people would save Sodom. Husbands should discuss plans with their wives, in detail. IX Leaders must handle problems; you’ll recall God had a problem with the golden calf:

And the LORD said unto Moses, I have seen this people, and, behold, it is a stiffnecked people: now therefore let me alone, that my wrath may wax hot against them, and that I may consume them: and I will make of thee a great nation. And Moses besought the LORD his God, and said, LORD, why doth thy wrath wax hot against thy people, which thou hast brought forth out of the land of Egypt with great power, and with a mighty hand? Wherefore should the Egyptians speak, and say, For mischief did he bring them out, to slay them in the mountains, and to consume them from the face of the earth? Turn from thy fierce wrath, and repent of this evil against thy people. Remember Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, thy servants, to whom thou swarest by thine own self, and saidst unto them, I will multiply your seed as the stars of heaven, and all this land that I have spoken of will I give unto your seed, and they shall inherit it for ever. And the LORD repented of the evil which he thought to do unto his people. Exodus 32:9-14

God told Moses that He planned to kill all the Israelites and make a nation from Moses children, and Moses talked Him out of it. Moses 2nd argument was to remind God of His promise to make a nation out of Abraham and Isaac. Killing everyone except Moses wouldn’t have canceled that promise because Moses was part of Abraham’s family. Moses’ 2nd argument was bogus, but his first argument was sound. Moses pointed out that if God killed the people, the Egyptians would conclude that God had lied. God told Pharaoh that God wanted Pharaoh to let His people go because God cared about them and wanted to do them good; killing them would make the Egyptians think that God had lied. This was a sound argument, God bought it, and didn’t kill them.

Leaders should listen to their people even when some of their arguments aren’t right. Husbands have a particularly hard time with this. It’s often hard for men to understand what their wives are saying, but in I Peter 3:7 God commands men to listen.

In this case, Moses pointed out that although God’s idea seemed sound, it would have effects that God didn’t want, namely, that the Egyptians would think God lied. This is the sort of "help meet" task at which wives excel, I can’t begin to tell you all the times my wife’s input has saved me trouble. When Pilate was judging Jesus, his wife did her best to keep him out of trouble:

When he was set down on the judgment seat, his wife sent unto him, saying, Have thou nothing to do with that just man: for I have suffered many things this day in a dream because of him. Matthew 27:19

Isn’t that just like a woman, expecting her husband to pay attention to her dreams! But he should have listened very carefully!

But a certain man named Ananias, with Sapphira his wife, sold a possession, and kept back a part of the price, his wife also being privy to it, and brought a certain part, and laid it at the apostles' feet. But Peter said, Ananias, why hath Satan filled thine heart to lie to the Holy Ghost, and to keep back part of the price of the land? Whiles it remained, was it not thine own? and after it was sold, was it not in thine own power? why hast thou conceived this thing in thine heart? thou hast not lied unto men, but unto God. And Ananias hearing these words fell down, and gave up the ghost: and great fear came on all them that heard these things. And the young men arose, wound him up, and carried him out, and buried him. And it was about the space of three hours after, when his wife, not knowing what was done, came in. And Peter answered unto her, Tell me whether ye sold the land for so much? And she said, Yea, for so much. Then Peter said unto her, How is it that ye have agreed together to tempt the Spirit of the Lord? behold, the feet of them which have buried thy husband are at the door, and shall carry thee out. Then fell she down straightway at his feet, and yielded up the ghost: and the young men came in, and found her dead, and, carrying her forth, buried her by her husband. Acts 5:1-10

Ananias exhibited fine leadership. He had an idea, he didn’t command his wife, they discussed it, and she agreed. Isn’t that what submission is? Your leader has an idea, you discuss it, and you go along, but Sapphira failed her husband. She should have said, "Do you really think that’s a good idea?" My wife has helped me avoid great trouble; X leaders must listen, XI followers must speak!

XII Leaders must persuade people to do things. When God called Moses to lead His people out of Egypt, Moses didn’t want to:

And Moses said unto the LORD, O my LORD, I am not eloquent, neither heretofore, nor since thou hast spoken unto thy servant: but I am slow of speech, and of a slow tongue. And the LORD said unto him, Who hath made man's mouth? or who maketh the dumb, or deaf, or the seeing, or the blind? have not I the LORD? Now therefore go, and I will be with thy mouth, and teach thee what thou shalt say. Exodus 4:10-12

God told Moses, "I made your mouth, I know what you can do, just do it," but Moses didn’t shut up:

And he said, O my LORD, send, I pray thee, by the hand of him whom thou wilt send. [In other words, God, anybody but me.] And the anger of the LORD was kindled against Moses,… Exodus 4:13-14a

God dealt with Moses’ objections, but Moses still wouldn’t accept the assignment. God was upset! God went along with Moses and gave Aaron to help him, but Moses should have done the job by himself as God wanted him to do.

When your leader wants you do to something, you generally wouldn’t be asked if you couldn’t do it. Wouldn’t it save a lot of grief just to volunteer? I’ve done a lot of leading over the years, I can testify to this:

For if there be first a willing mind, it is accepted according to that a man hath, and not according to that he hath not. I Cor 8:12

As a leader, my biggest problem is convincing people to be willing to try the job I ask. I’ve never been able to figure out whether they’re just lazy or whether they’re being modest. Was Moses being modest when he told God that he couldn’t speak? Was he afraid? He’d been tending sheep for 40 years since leaving Egypt, did he like being a shepherd? Or was he just unwilling to give up his wants and do what God wanted? What about us? Are we afraid, or is it just that we don’t want to get involved?

So here are God’s short rules for leadership:

Explain and discuss the plan. God told Abraham He was about to destroy Sodom. Ananias discussed his plan with Sapphira.
Explain overall policy. God taught Abraham that God valued justice; Abraham knew to appeal to God’s overall policy for Sodom.
Listen for objections. Moses objected to God’s plan to destroy Israel, Sapphira did not object to Ananias’ plan to lie.
Ask people to do things, but be prepared for objections. Moses didn’t want to lead God’s people out of Egypt.

There’s more to leadership than explaining, discussing, and asking. Why did David’s mighty men risk their lives to get him water from one special well? Because they loved him. The lost recognize this. There’s a song, "We’ll follow the old man wherever he wants to go…" Ever hear that song? Notice it says, "Wherever he wants to go," the men follow because the leader has a goal, he knows where he’s going, he has a vision. That’s Biblical, Proverbs 29:3 says, "Where there is no vision, the people perish."

The song has a chorus, "Because we love him, we love him, especially when he keeps us on the ball." Followers love leaders who have a goal and demand their very best. That gives us two more rules for leadership, XIII have a vision and XIV encourage your people to do their best. You can’t lead unless you know where you’re going and you can’t get the best out of your people without knowing them well. That’s another reason for lost of discussion, it helps you know your people.

But that doesn’t explain the most important part of leadership – to be a really effective leader, XV you have to be loved. David’s men got him water when he only wished, what did they do for him when he wanted something badly? Jesus’ men went to their deaths for His sake even though He was no longer with them. This love comes from the Greek word agapao, this is an active love, it’s not how people feel, it’s something people do. How do leaders get to be loved in that way? By serving their followers. Mothers lead their children, and most mothers end up being loved. Why do children love their mothers? Because mothers serve their children.

Mothers also encourage children, that’s another way to be loved. God encourages His people, too. I Kings 18 tells how Elijah challenged the people to choose between God and Baal. They put a sacrifice on the altar, but didn’t light the file. The priests of Baal prayed, but Baal didn’t do anything. Then Elijah poured water over the sacrifice, and called on God. God sent fire and burned up the water and the sacrifice. The people decided to follow God, and they killed all of the prophets of Baal. Then what happened?

And Ahab told Jezebel all that Elijah had done, and withal how he had slain all the prophets with the sword. Then Jezebel sent a messenger unto Elijah, saying, So let the gods do to me, and more also, if I make not thy life as the life of one of them by tomorrow about this time. And when he saw that, he arose, and went for his life, and came to Beersheba, which belongeth to Judah, and left his servant there. But he himself went a day's journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a juniper tree: and he requested for himself that he might die; and said, It is enough; now, O LORD, take away my life; for I am not better than my fathers. I Kings 19:1-4

Right after Elija’s greatest victory for God, he ran for his life. He was so discouraged that he didn’t want to go on any more, he asked God to kill him. Who says God’s people don’t get discouraged? And what did God do? Did God criticize Elijah for running?

And as he lay and slept under a juniper tree, behold, then an angel touched him, and said unto him, Arise and eat. And he looked, and, behold, there was a cake baken on the coals, and a cruse of water at his head. And he did eat and drink, and laid him down again. And the angel of the LORD came again the second time, and touched him, and said, Arise and eat; because the journey is too great for thee. I Kings 19:5-7

No, God didn’t criticize Elijah, God sent an angel to feed him. The angel said, "Arise and eat, because the journey is too great for thee." XVI Leaders worry about practical matters like food, especially when their followers get discouraged.

And he arose, and did eat and drink, and went in the strength of that meat forty days and forty nights unto Horeb the mount of God. And he came thither unto a cave, and lodged there; and, behold, the word of the LORD came to him, and he said unto him, What doest thou here, Elijah? And he said, I have been very jealous for the LORD God of hosts: for the children of Israel have forsaken thy covenant, thrown down thine altars, and slain thy prophets with the sword; and I, even I only, am left; and they seek my life, to take it away. I Kings 19:8-10

That’s outstanding leadership. Elijah lost heart, he cut and ran, he bailed, and does God blast him? No, God asks, "How’s it going, Elijah." And Elijah tells God how it seems to Elijah. LISTEN TO YOUR PEOPLE!! They may not see things the way you do.

The next few verses show God relating to Elijah. God tells him to anoint Hazael and Jehu and to teach Elisha to be a prophet after him. XVII When your people are tired, explain the plan once again and give them something to do. A discouraged person with nothing to do sits, soaks, and sours, but God kept Elijah too busy to sour. And then God told Elijah he was on the winning side:

Yet I have left me seven thousand in Israel, all the knees which have not bowed unto Baal, and every mouth which hath not kissed him. I Kings 19:18

That’s great leadership, it got Elijah back on the job. Following God can bring trouble; obeying Jesus got Paul in a lot of trouble:

Of the Jews five times received I forty stripes save one. Thrice was I beaten with rods, once was I stoned, thrice I suffered shipwreck, a night and a day I have been in the deep; in journeyings often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils by mine own countrymen, in perils by the heathen, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren; in weariness and painfulness, in watchings often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness. II Corinthians 11:24-27

Isn’t that the sort of follower any leader would want? Paul just wouldn’t quit. And why did he obey so faithfully?

For the love of Christ constraineth us; II Corinthians 5:14a

Paul obeyed Christ because Paul loved Christ; his love for Christ made him want to follow. The best results happen when people obey out of love. God expects His people to obey Him out of love. How does a leader get to be loved? Napoleon Bonaparte, a leader of men, said, "The best way to gain their affections is to do them good." XVIII A leader becomes loved by serving his people:

If any man desire to be first, the same shall be last of all and servant of all Mark 9:35

But Jesus called them to him, and saith unto them, Ye know that they which are accounted to rule over the Gentiles exercise lordship over them; and their great ones exercise authority upon them. But so shall it not be among you: but whosoever will be great among you, shall be your minister: and whosoever of you will be the chiefest, shall be servant of all. For even the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many. Mark 10:42

That’s the secret of leadership – a Godly leader serves his people. A man serves his wife, a mother serves her children, a military leader takes care of his men, and a boss takes care of his people. Those who want to lead the most should serve the most.

Perils of Premature Proclamation of Pairing

At most schools, young ladies watch closely how young men interact with other ladies. If a couple is has a couple of conversations of a half-hour or so, not only are they perceived to have paired off, their pairing is proclaimed the length and breadth of the student body.

That’s not a good idea, but it’s not at all surprising that women act this way. God created each woman as His special gift to a man:

For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man. I Corinthians 11:8-9

the woman is the glory of the man. I Corinthians 11:7b

Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord. Proverbs 18:22

A prudent wife is from the Lord. Proverbs 19:14b

It is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him an help meet for him. Genesis 2:18

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning. James 1:17

God designed many traits into women so that they would be pleased to belong to men. He made women smaller and weaker so that they would desire a man’s protection, He gave them monthly cycles so they would be accustomed to their bodies not being under their control, He gave them emotions to help draw families together and to build homes and churches. God did many wonderful things creating women for men, but His most potent method for making women belong to men was to make women yearn for a man’s attention and praise. There’s little a woman won’t do to please her man, particularly if he appreciates her and makes her feel special.

Since God made men so important to women, it’s natural that women pay close attention whenever a man seems drawn to another woman. Women are more monogamously inclined than men; once a man seems to have claimed a woman, it’s natural for other women to criticize any man who seems to pay attention to her and to lean on him if he shows interest in anyone else.

This is an excellent custom once a couple is engaged or married, but for unmarried women, there are perils.

Suppose that a young man isn’t serious, he’s not ready to settle down, he wants a toy rather than a treasure, he wants to play with you instead of staying with you. Given the propensity to proclaim pairings, all he has to do is chat with you a bit and he’s perceived and proclaimed to be paired with you. Having talked with him enough to be "paired," it’ll be hard for you to spend time with anyone else. He’s got you with very little investment or commitment on his part.

Consider the plight of an honorable young man who doesn’t want to treat you as a toy, not even by accident, and who wants to be careful of your emotions. Men are clueless, but every young man knows one thing about women: 1) he wants one. If a man wants to play with you for a time, he won’t care that he doesn’t know how to make you happy, but suppose he’s serious-minded. Instead of just looking at you and being attracted to your looks, he wants to explore your mind, your skills, your heart, your spirit, in short, he wants to know you well enough to care for you while enjoying your company without being perceived or proclaimed as paired.

An honorable man knows that your feelings are stronger than his and that he can engage your emotions without meaning to, particularly if others tell you how paired you are. Emotional fornication where you give your emotions prematurely is nearly as harmful as physical fornication, but how does a young man avoid it? Only by avoiding you entirely, which isn’t what you want.

A responsible man knows one more fact about women besides the overwhelming fact that he wants one: 2) an unhappy wife will make his life miserable

A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones. Proverbs 12:4

… the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping. Proverbs 19:13b

A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike Proverbs 27:15

It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and angry woman Proverbs 21:19

Women are so difficult for men to please that God provided an entire book, the Song of Solomon, to teach men how to keep women happy. A wise man wants a woman who’s naturally happy with him the way he is. Men do change a bit after marriage, but not nearly as much as women hope. A sensible man wants you to know him well enough that he can be sure he pleases you naturally without having to pretend to be something he’s not, before permitting either of you the emotional commitment of "pairing off."

And what about you? God made you so that much of your happiness depends on your husband being pleased with you. It’s far simpler to please a man than to please a woman so this isn’t as much of an issue for you as for him, but even so, shouldn’t you pray that God will send you a man who’s delighted with the skills, interests, thoughts, ideas, and other gifts that God gave you? God commends a "meek and quite spirit" for women, but this isn’t a substitute for your basic personality, it’s something you put on, just as a dress does not replace your figure, it’s something you put on.

The better you get to know men without the perception of pairing, the more likely you are to find a man who delights in you for your own sake. You don’t want a husband who believes that God made you incorrectly and that he has to micro-manage sin out of every nook and cranny of your life instead of leaving your spiritual growth to the Lord:

Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ: Philippians 1:6

Even a man who knows that it’s God’s job to refine you will be tempted to mess with you if there are too many things about you he doesn’t like. Wouldn’t it be best to find a man who likes you the way God made you so you don’t have to pretend to be what you aren’t?

Premature pronouncement of pairing makes it difficult for you to get to know enough men well enough to see which traits are common to men and which traits are unique to one man. You can’t do much about the basic way God made men, if you don’t like that, don’t marry at all, but you can choose a man whose interests and desires focus naturally on you, that way he’ll be yours without your having to change your nature. After all, the more strongly your husband wants you, the more he’s yours:

I am my beloved's, and his desire is toward me. Song of Solomon 7:10

For all it may frighten or amaze you, your husband’s desire for you is what makes him yours, his pleasure in opening hie heart to you in conversation and praise makes you his.

But you can’t get to know enough men well enough to choose who’s best for you if everybody pairs you up after a half-hour of conversation. You shouldn’t perceive any couple as paired until you see the ring, then you can proclaim it and promote it.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

God Tells You How to Prosper

The Bible tells you how to prosper in business and in the world of work. I considered calling this series "God Tells You How To Be Rich," but there are TV cults who say God wants everybody to be rich and the first step is to send money to them. I chose "prosper" to keep clear of those people.

Does God want everybody rich? Instead of promising wealth, God told Adam:

cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life. Thorns and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field. In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, til thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return. Genesis 3:17b-19

if any would not work, neither should he eat. II Thessalonians 3:10

Does that sound as if everybody is supposed to be rich? Not to me. It sounds to me as if we are supposed to scratch and scramble all the days of our lives just to eat, anything beyond that is a bonus.

God is fair. Having told us we would have to sweat to eat, God told us in the Bible how to go about our business so that we can prosper by our sweat.

I’m going to give you two axioms of capitalism and of making money. An axiom is defined as self-evident truth, something so obvious that you do not need to prove it, but you are unlikely to figure out for yourself. In school, we learn such axioms as "A straight line is the shortest distance between two points" but I’m here tonight to give you two business axioms to help you prosper financially.

I did not invent these business axioms, they were taught me by my first boss. I was extraordinarily blessed to have a boss who could explain these facts so clearly. I have tried to base my economic life on these two simple ideas ever since, and these axioms have contributed mightily to whatever success I’ve enjoyed.

I didn’t know it then, but the principles my boss taught me are based on the Word of God. My success with these principles proves that obeying the Word of God leads to success even when you don’t know you’re following God’s rules.

What frustrates me is that there are many more economic lessons in the Bible which I ignored because I did not read them. I was so impressed with what my boss said that I would have tried to find more axioms in the Bible if I had known he was teaching Biblical principles, but I did not know.

It was only a few years ago that I discovered that the Bible has a lot to say about how to succeed at work. I felt so stupid-here were all the other axioms I had learned so painfully, right there in front of me, but I had not found them.

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction. Proverbs 1:7

I despised the wisdom of the Bible by not reading it even though I knew better. We have all been taught to read our Bibles-I did not read mine enough to learn God’s lessons the easy way, and learning the hard way cost me dearly.

What I’m going to point out tonight, especially to you young people, are tested principles how to prosper. You can heed and obey what the Bible says about earning a living or you can despise God’s wisdom. I really hope you will heed; ignoring what the Bible could have taught me cost me plenty, and I want to help you avoid some of my mistakes.

Let us pray:

Our Father, we understand your punishment of Adam for disobeying your Word and eating of the forbidden fruit; we know that we must work and work hard. We thank you so very much, Father, for telling us how to work, so that our efforts might help us prosper. Help us all to learn from your word, so that our testimony at work might bring others to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. Amen.

I don’t have time tonight to tell you very many Biblical principles for business, so I’ll just tell you what my boss told me, then give you a few verses to show that my boss’ axioms are based on the Bible. First the story, then some verses, and the rest is up to you.

My business enlightenment happened one morning in 1969 shortly after I started work at IBM in Poughkeepsie. I asked a question that indicated global ignorance. My question showed I had no idea what was going on, so my boss said "Come in my office, there’s something I must explain to you" and in we went.

By the way, young people, please remember that this five-minute explanation of what life was all about which has served me so very well for more than 25 years came about because of two things:

1) I asked a question. It was an ignorant question, but I asked it anyway.

2) I listened to the answer and remembered it.

There is nothing wrong with asking questions on the job; most bosses like people who want to learn. The more you learn, the more you can help the boss, and most bosses realize that. Just remember the answers so you don’t ask the same question over and over, that gets annoying.

Anyway, my boss sat me down on one side of his desk and he sat down on the other side. He leaned toward me and opened his eyes wide and said "Bill, why doesn’t your paycheck bounce?"

Talk about getting my attention! There was nothing he could have asked me that could have gotten me more interested-he was talking about my pay! For you bosses who have to answer questions or sometimes give information when your people haven’t asked, remember that it’s good to tie information about the job to payroll if you can-talking about money is always interesting.

My boss answered my question with a question. That made me think and helped me remember. Good technique.

For you very young people, a check is a way to pay people money without using dollar bills. You send a check and they give it to a bank and your bank gives the money to their bank. This is safer than mailing dollar bills because money is easy to steal. A check has their name on it and is harder to steal. The point is, if you write a check for more money than you have, your bank won’t accept it. This is called "bouncing a check" because instead of sending money to the other bank, your bank bounces the check right back at them. You have to have money in your bank before you can spend money writing checks. When my boss asked why my paycheck did not bounce, he was asking me to explain how IBM got money, and I did not know. How does IBM get money?

I stammered something, and he said, "It’s like this. IBM is not the government; we can’t print money or force people to give us tax money, we have to earn it. Your paycheck does not bounce because our customers send us checks that don’t bounce. And as a matter of corporate policy, we want customers to send us money because they sincerely feel we earned the money, not just because the contract says they gotta send money. We want happy money here at IBM. If a customer is not happy with our product, we give it back and return the money, no matter how badly it hurts."

He went on, "Look, our salesmen don’t call on companies that don’t have money, that’s a waste of time. All our customers have money, we check that before we go. The trick is to persuade them they want our products more than they want the money. If they want the money more, they keep the money, and you are out of a job. But if they want our computer more than the money, they give us the money and we can pay you. This is hard to do because everybody likes money a whole lot. Being more wonderful than money is not easy, but that’s what we have to do to eat."

I was beginning to understand. Light was shining through the cracks! My enlightenment was such a wonderful feeling that I still remember everything he said. He went on, "Let’s talk about you. We hired you because we want the work you do more than we want the money we pay you. If we did not want your work more than we want your pay, we would keep the money, we would not pay you, and you would be out of a job. Your challenge is to be sure that your work is more wonderful to us than the money we pay you every single day.

Do you want to get paid more? Of course you do. That’s easy-all you have to do is make your work more wonderful to IBM, and IBM will take care of you, I promise you.

Let me tell you how to make your work more wonderful. Our job in the lab is to design computers that are so wonderful customers will want them more than money. All we want you to do is help us make our products more wonderful so we can raise the price and get more money. I don’t mean raise the price through stealing, I mean raise the price because the product is really better. Help us get more money from our customers. You take care of customers, customers take care of IBM, and IBM can afford to take care of you. It’s really that simple."

The clouds rolled back. The sun shone through and I understood capitalism. I understood that IBM did not pay me, customers paid me, IBM just handled the money. That’s important, kids, for you to remember, your boss doesn’t pay you, customers pay you, the boss does you the favor of collecting the money.

I also understood that nothing happens unless it’s more wonderful than money. When you buy anything, you buy it because you want it more than you want the money; if it were not more wonderful to you than the money, you would keep the money and nothing would happen.

The Irving station pays people to pump gas because they wants the gas pumped more than they want the money. People buy houses because they want the houses more then they want the money. People buy Big Macs because they want the burgers more than they want the money.

We’re having hard times now when there isn’t much money. That makes money more wonderful so people hang onto it. Then things get touch, McDonalds drops their prices to keep their burgers more wonderful than money. But if you wants to earn a million bucks, I’ll tell you how. If you can make the burgers more wonderful so McDonalds can raise prices for every store without losing sales, that will be worth millions to McDonalds, and they will take care of you, they really will.

Remember the Gillette twin blade razor? They’ve sold a few of them, earned a buck or two over the years? Well, the man who invented that razor works for Gillette. They gave him a big raise and told him he could keep his job for life even if he never did another lick of work, he had paid his dues. He had been so wonderful they didn’t need any more work from him ever again.

That’s the secret of getting paid a lot-be worth a lot. You are worth a lot if you bring your boss a lot of money. I have always tried to make the most money for my boss I could. I have not always succeeded; many things I did failed to make money, but I always tried my very best.

What are the axioms? Everything must be worth more than money, and you better make sure that you take only happy money. If you aren’t worth more then your pay, you’re gone. If you don’t keep your boss happy to pay you, you may be gone even if you are worth your pay. So here are the axioms, folks, write `em down, they’ll serve you well:

1) Be more wonderful than money.

2) Take only happy money.

That’s the story of my business education. Those two axioms have been the foundation of my economic life and God has blessed me greatly, but I could have had so much more if I had realized that those rules came from the Bible and looked at all the other business lessons in the Bible.

God tells long stories like David and Bathsheeba, Amnon and Tamar where He’s trying to teach marriage and morality. He also teaches business, but the business teachings are shorter and not so easy to find; I don’t know of any business stories, if you find one, let me know. God must feel that marriage is more important than business, He gives marriage more space in the Book, but the business principles are there if you look for them with an open heart.

Let’s look at "More wonderful than money," where are the verses for that? Well, it’s an old, old Biblical principle:

Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might Ecclesiastes 9:10a

When you’ve found a job, you’ve found something to do, so do it with thy might, that is, wonderfully.

Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. II Timothy 2:15

And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ. Colossians 3:23-24

Jesus served you by dying for you. You’re commanded to work as if you were serving Him, the Bible says you are serving Him. Jesus washed the disciples feet, serve your boss likewise and be as wonderful as you can. How about

for the laborer is worthy of his hire. Luke 10:7

Jesus was telling his disciples not be ashamed to eat in people’s houses while on missionary journeys. This verse is often used to explain why we pay pastors, saying that their labor is worthy of our hire, but it has another meaning too. Jesus’ disciples were bringing the good news of salvation and that labor was surely worthy of their hire. You are not bringing your boss anything nearly that good, but you must bring something worthy of your hire. Your contribution must be worth your hire, you must be more wonderful than your salary.

You don’t have a whole lot of choice; the Bible says you must work to support your family:

But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. I Timothy 5:8

Since you have to work anyway, you might as well be as wonderful as you can so you get paid as much as possible for the time you spend working. Being more wonderful than money is a lot of work, but the Bible gives encouragement:

He becometh poor that dealeth with a slack hand: but the hand of the diligent maketh rich Proverbs 10:4

Being wonderful means not just doing the assigned work, it means doing extra work:

And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain. Matthew 5:41

Even if your boss does not notice your extra output and promote you right away, God promises that you will be rewarded if you are patient.

And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. Galatians 6:9

Being more wonderful than money requires that you give a lot. This may sometimes be a sacrifice, but God praises it:

Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver. II Corinthians 9:7

God isn’t the only one who loveth a cheerful giver, all bosses love a worker who gives cheerful, willing, cooperative work. We usually use this verse to commend cheerful giving to the church, but it also commends cheerful giving to your boss, or to your spouse and children for that matter.

What about happy money? Where does the Bible say you should make people happy to pay you? What about:

Let no man seek his own, but rather another’s wealth I Corinthians 10:24

The Bible says plainly that you are to seek your boss’s success before your own so that he is happy to pay you. If you genuinely wrap you heart around the boss’ work, don’t you think the boss and your customers will be happy to pay you? This is a specific case of the more general principle that you are commanded to think of others first:

Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man on the things of others. Philippians 2:3-4

Does the boss pay you to do his thing, or does he pay you to do your own thing? He pays you to do his thing, of course, and you had better esteem his thing enough to do it cheerfully whether you like it or not. If you do your work cheerfully, your boss pays you cheerfully and you get happy money. If you grumble, is your boss happy to pay you?

What about keeping customers happy?

He that withholdeth corn, the people shall curse him: but blessing shall be upon the head of him that selleth it. Proverbs 11:26

This means you must sell at reasonable prices even if you have a chance to gouge. Remember when oil prices ran up a while back and oil companies raised the price and then doubled it? Did their customers curse them? Did the oil companies develop any loyalty or will customers desert them for anyone offering a penny less per gallon? No, my oil company did not take care of me, and I remember. I feel sorry for middlemen who had to announce the price increases.

Many business axioms are taught in the Word of God but they’re harder to find than other lessons. Until next time, just remember "more wonderful than money" and "happy money," those two axioms alone will take you a long way.

God Tells You How To Prosper, Part II

This is the second of a series of sermons exploring God’s instructions how to prosper in business and in work. During the first sermon, I told how my first boss taught me two fundamental business axioms which have guided my economic life ever since.

What are the axioms? Everything has to be worth more than money, and you had better make sure that you only take in happy money. You do not buy something unless you want it more than money; if you don’t want it that much, you keep the money and the store loses a sale. If you are unhappy with what you buy, you either take it back or don’t go to that store again.

When you work for a boss, you have to be more wonderful to the boss than the money the boss pays you. If you aren’t worth more then your pay, you’re gone. If you don’t keep your boss happy to pay you, you may be gone even if you are worth your pay. So here are the axioms, folks, write `em down, they’ll serve you well:

1) Be more wonderful than money.

2) Take only happy money.

Being wonderful is not only good idea, it’s a commandment of God:

And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ. Colossians 3:23-24

You don’t really work for our boss; you work for God. God commands you to work heartily and to be as wonderful as you possibly can.

The world does not owe you a living. God told Adam to eat by the sweat of his face, we all have to sweat to eat. Knowing that you have to be more wonderful than money is not enough, you have to know how to be wonderful.

At the time I learned I had to be wonderful, I was blessed with a wonderful boss. His explanations were so inspiring and seemed so wise that I had little trouble working for him and doing things his way. That made it easy to obey God when God told me to obey my boss.

As we all know, however, God’s commands are unconditional. We must obey our bosses whether they are good bosses or bad bosses. Husbands most love their wives as Christ loved the church whether wives deserve sacrificial love or not. Wives must submit to their husbands whether husbands deserve submission or not. God did not say "Love your wife if she deserves it," He said love your wife even if she does not do her part. God did not say "Submit to your husband if he deserves it," He said submit to your husband in all things even if he does not do his part. God did not say "Children obey your parents if you agree with them," He said "Children obey your parents."

God also commands you to obey your boss, even if he is unworthy:

Servants, be subject to your masters with all fear; not only to the good and gentle, but also to the froward. I Peter 2:18

The command to obey bosses is even stronger than the command for children to obey their parents and for husbands to love their wives because God specifically includes bad bosses as well as good. It must be harder to obey a bad boss than to love an unworthy wife or to submit to an unworthy husband.

God does not hold you accountable for your boss, God holds you accountable for you. When you appear before the judgement seat of Christ to answer for your work, don’t bother pleading you did not set a good example at work because you had a bad boss, the Bible tells you to do your part anyway.

I’m going to point out six Biblical principles to help you be wonderful on the job whether you have a good boss or not. I know these principles work even with bad bosses because I did not learn them from the Bible; I learned them from bitter experience. I learned these lessons by violating them. Each time I broke one of God’s rules, I got slapped down, wasting untold toil and treasure and damaging my testimony. Each time, I had to pick myself up, try to figure out what happened, and learn not to do that again.

When you violate God’s laws on marriage and morality, it may take a while to see results. David murdered Uriah the Hittite to get his wife Bathsheeba and the punishment came later. When David didn’t punish Absolom for murdering Amnon, David’s punishment didn’t come for years. When I broke God’s laws of business, I usually got punished right away, and my punishment was losing a job or losing money. Swift punishment has one advantage, you learn faster.

What I’m going to point out tonight, especially to you young people, are tested principles how to be wonderful. You can heed and obey what the Bible says about earning a living or you can despise God’s wisdom. I hope you will heed; ignoring the Bible cost me plenty, and I want to help you avoid my mistakes.

Let us pray:

Our Father, we understand your punishment of Adam for disobeying your Word and eating of the forbidden fruit; we know that we must work and work hard. We thank you so very much, Father, for telling us how to work, so that our efforts might help us prosper. Help us to learn from your word, so that our testimony at work might bring others to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Avoid Unequal Yoke

The first principle of business success is, never go into business with an unsaved person. The Bible tells you to avoid unequal yokes:

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God, with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the LORD, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you. II Corinthians 6:14-17

Going into partnership with an unsaved person is rebellion against God’s command, and rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, I Samuel 15:23.

Therefore to him that knoweth to do good and doeth it not, to him it is sin. James 4:17

You know God’s will in this matter, so it is a sin for you to have an unsaved business partner. God not only tells you not to do it, He tells you why:

Except the LORD build the house, they labor in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain. Psalm 127:1

How can you build a Godly business life if you are in business with an ungodly partner? You can’t; I couldn’t; nobody can, God says so. I’m strong on this rule because I violated it, not once, but twice. God was merciful the 1st time and my partner only stole $3,000 from me. The 2nd time, I ended up repaying a $100,000 bank loan out of my own pocket.

I should have left my unsaved business partners for the Lord’s sake.

Verily I say unto you, There is no man that hath left house, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my sake, and the gospel’s, but he shall receive an hundredfold now in this time, houses, and brethren, and sisters, and mothers, and children, and lands, with persecutions, and in the world to come eternal life. Mark 10:29-30

Most of you will never start a business, but most of you will marry. The principle of avoiding partnership with the unsaved applies to spouses as well as business partners. Don’t go into business with the unsaved; don’t marry the unsaved. It’s a whole lot easier to get into bed with someone than to get out.

Most of us end up as employees of the unsaved; that’s not a sin.

Don’t Quit

The second principle of prosperity after avoiding unequal yoke is, don’t quit. Being wonderful is a lot of work, but you have to keep on keeping on.

For a just man falleth seven times and riseth up again: Proverbs 24:16

And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. Galatians 6:9

God says not to be afraid of failure, just pick yourself up and try again. The lost know this. Remember the saying "If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, try again." Colonel Sanders was a 63-year-old bankrupt sleeping in the back of his car when he started a fried chicken restaurant. It did OK.

Humility

After equal yoke and "don’t quit," the third principle of prosperity is plain, old-fashioned humility. This is a very important point; I have fired more people for violating this principle than for any other reason. The Bible says.

Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man on the things of others. Philippians 2:3-4

Does the boss pay you to do his thing, or does he pay you to do your own thing? He pays you to do his thing, of course, and you better esteem his thing enough to do it cheerfully whether you like it or not.

Let no man seek his own, but rather another’s wealth I Corinthians 10:24

The Bible says you are to seek your boss’s success before your own. "Let nothing be done through strife" says not to argue with the boss. Nobody ever wins an argument with the boss or with a customer; you lose even when you win. In many offices, you will often see posters displaying the two rules of business:

Rule #1 The boss is always right
Rule #2 If the boss is ever wrong, see rule #1.

In other words, even the unsaved say the boss is always right, even when the boss is wrong.

This is not as silly as it sounds. The boss has been in business longer than you, and it’s just possible that he’s learned a thing or two about what works and what doesn’t. The boss is probably right, even when you think the boss is wrong.

I have a dehumidifier hung from the basement ceiling so water can run down a hose into a drain on the wall. Last summer, the water stopped running through the hose and started dripping on the floor. I tried everything-I cleaned the hose, I checked the drain. The water kept dripping on the floor, so I put the hose in a bucket and emptied the bucket.

When I went on a trip, my son had to empty the bucket. He did this a while, then he had a bright idea. Next time I visited the basement, the hose was up in the pipe instead of down in the bucket and the water was all over the floor.

There’s nothing wrong with trying to save work, but my son’s idea failed. He should have known I’m at least as lazy as he, and that if I didn’t put the hose in the pipe, there might be a reason. He should have asked me first.

Humility means assuming the boss has a reason for the way he wants the work done and doing it his way even if you like your way better. If you absolutely must try something new, ask first, and use a humble posture like "Excuse me, Sir, I don’t understand your methods. Could you please tell me why this won’t work...?" If you ask first, the boss will realize you can be trusted to get the work done when the boss is away. That makes you wonderful.

Humility means acknowledging the boss’ authority in thought, word, and deed. When the boss tells you to do something, there is a big difference between unenthusiastic "All right, if that’s what you want" and whipping out a snappy "Yes, sir!" and doing it on the jump.

The first thing the Marines teach a recruit is how to say "Yes sir!" They teach the same lesson at State Police academies. You can’t be a soldier or a cop without being able to say "Yes, sir!" and mean it.

Accepting authority with your mouth is important. Every boss knows your mouth shows your heart:

A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh. Luke 6:45

Bosses and drill sergeants know forcing your mouth mends your heart. Sensible bosses insist on polite respect-if you respect them verbally, you eventually respect them from the heart and work goes smoothly. Sensible employees respect bosses and are polite to customers without being told.

I learned this while growing up in Japan. The Japanese are much more concerned with authority than Americans and I was taught to follow authority from my youth up. At my first job after IBM, the boss asked me why I was so much more polite than his other people. I told him I was being paid to help him get his work done; that was why there was money for me in his budget. Since he was senior, he deserved my respect. He liked that.

When my name appeared in engineering magazines 20 years later, my boss remembered me and sent me a note wishing me well. Bosses like polite respect. So do teachers-polite students get better grades. That’s a tip, young people, write it down! Soft answers turn away wrath; you know that, but humble politeness can keep wrath from even starting.

Humility also means apologizing, even for things that aren’t your fault. A woman at our office was deeply hurt when a manager told her I’d said unkind things about her. I had no idea what was going on, but I wrote her an apology.

The big boss later asked me "Bill, why did you apologize? It wasn’t you that criticized her, it was so-and-so, you had nothing to do with it."

I said "Well, I was sorry it happened. She’s one of our better workers, and having her unhappy hurts the company." The boss felt I was looking out for his interests and not just my own.

Humility and esteeming other better than yourself means taking care of customers even when it hurts. When my wife worked at Jordans, she’d always go back and check when a customer asked for a missing size or color even if she was supposed to be on break. She became known to customers; they looked for her when they came to the department. At first, other workers tried to discourage her, but after the boss took notice, they followed her example. Sales went up.

So what does humility mean at work?

*Esteeming not your own things, but rather the things of the boss; seek his wealth and not your own; that’s humility
*Don’t argue with the boss or customers; that’s humility
*Do everything the boss wants done in the way the boss wants it done; lean not to your own understanding; that’s humility
*Acknowledge the boss’ authority through politeness and saying "Yes, sir!" that’s humility
*Apologize even when it isn’t your fault; that’s humility
*Take care of customers first, then your boss, finally yourself; that’s humility

Ever hear of J-O-Y, Jesus, Others, Yourself? In business, it’s C-B-Y, Customers, Boss, Yourself.

Don’t Complain

Working humbly means never complain, the boss doesn’t like it. God doesn’t like complaining either:

And when the people complained, it displeased the LORD: and the LORD heard it; and his anger was kindled; and the fire of the LORD burnt among them, and consumed them that were in the uttermost parts of the camp. Numbers 11:1

Neither murmur ye, as some of them also murmured, and were destroyed of the destroyer. I Corinthians 10:10

Do all things without murmurings and disputings Philippians 2:14

You have to talk about your job enough to understand it, but there is a big difference between learning about work and complaining. Murmuring is forbidden, I Corinthians 10:10. If your boss feels you are complaining, you are. If he does not feel you are complaining, you aren’t, but you should stay well clear of anything that sounds at all like complaint lest you get a reputation as a troublemaker.

That’s bad for two reasons: First, nobody likes a complainer; the noise makes everybody’s work seem harder. Second, if the boss figures you will complain no matter what, why should he give any thought to your preferences? If he can’t please you anyway, why try?

God tells you twice why you should not complain-Proverbs 19:13 and Proverbs 27:15 compare complaining to a continual dripping of rain. Hasn’t anyone ever told you, "Don’t rain on my parade?"

Complaining changes the way your work is valued. If you work cheerfully, your boss thinks you do more work than if you complain. Complainers have to do at least twice as much work to be seen as equal to people who do not complain.

Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver. II Corinthians 9:7

God isn’t the only one who loveth a cheerful giver, all bosses love a worker who gives cheerful, willing, work.

When the Israelites complained, the fire of the Lord consumed them (Numbers 11:1). If you complain at work, the fire of the boss may consume you and you’ll be without the camp looking for another job.

Be Honest

God commands that you work hard, work quietly, work humbly, and work cheerfully. You must also work honestly, your testimony depends on it.

Provide things honest in the sight of all men. Romans 12:17b

A false balance is abomination to the LORD: but a just weight is his delight. Proverbs 11:1

A just weight and balance are the Lord’s: all the weights of the bag are his work Proverbs 16:11

Divers weights are an abomination unto the LORD; and a false balance is not good. Proverbs 20:23

"Divers" means various or varying. Old-time cheats had two sets of weights, a heavy one for buying and a light one for selling. Using the heavy weight to balance what they bought meant they got more; using the light weight to measure what they sold meant they gave less. This is an abomination to the Lord which means God hates it and that it disgusts God. God thinks dishonesty is icky!

Divers weights and divers measures, both of them are alike abomination to the LORD. Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right. Proverbs 20:10-11

Four times God condemns false measurement, twice in the same chapter. It must be important. You can’t hide dishonesty; even children are known for their actions.

For there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed; neither hid, that shall not be known. Therefore, whatsoever you have spoken in darkness shall be heard in the light; and that which you have spoken in the ear in the closets shall be proclaimed upon the housetops. Luke 12:2-3

This is why God hates dishonesty:

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:10

We Christians belong to God; if we do good work, others are interested in God. We were created for good works. If we are dishonest, we make God look bad because he made us and we are part of Him. Our dishonesty gives the world an excuse-an unsaved person says "Christians are no better, why should I accept salvation?"

Not many of us work with scales, but remember the saying "An honest day’s work for an honest day’s pay"? Your boss has bought your best effort. Your boss expects you to be more wonderful than money; honesty compels you to deliver the most wonderful work you can.

Doing your own work around the house well and slacking off on your boss’ work is having two measures, one for you and one for the boss, which is abomination unto the Lord. God hates that; it disgusts Him and sets a bad example. Doing less than your best for your boss weighs your work with a false balance which is not good (Proverbs 20:23).

How many times have you heard a worker say "I’ve got to leave early today; I’m going out." or "I don’t want to work too hard, I’ve got a project this weekend" or "I’m just putting in the time, my heart is somewhere else." Don’t you know people who call in sick when they are well? That’s using divers weights, an abomination to the Lord; it utterly disgusts God, and your boss hates it too. Cheating your boss is not wonderful.

Young people, don’t you work hard on activities like skiing or hobbies you enjoy while slacking off on schoolwork? Watch out-you are learning the habit of using divers measures of effort, one measure for your work and one measure for school work, which is abomination to the Lord and disgusts your teachers.

Don’t even think you can fool teachers-I’ve talked with them about many teens. They know when you do your best. Even a child is known by his doings and teens are beyond childhood, they’re beginning to make a mark in the world.

Doing less than your best in school trains you in not doing your best when you go to work. Every day, you are becoming what you will be. If you are not wonderful in school it will be hard to be wonderful on the job. You can’t fool the boss any more than you can fool your teachers, believe me. People who always do their best have a light in their eyes and a spring in their step which is unmistakable. Wonderful workers glow; others sort of sog through life and anyone can see it. You certainly can’t fool God:

But thou shalt have a perfect and just weight, a perfect and just measure shalt thou have: that thy days may be lengthened in the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee. Deuteronomy 25:15

God says just measurement is the way to long life and prosperity. Everybody wants to deal with honest workers. I treasure the workmen of our church-I can tell them to do what needs to be done without worrying about unneeded expense. Can you imagine telling an unsaved auto mechanic "Fix whatever you find wrong"? Can you imagine saying "Take the time you need to do it right"? But I can say that to our mechanics, and to our carpenters, and to our cleaners, and to our other people.

Honesty earns you the benefit of the doubt. I learned that with my expense reports. I’m a cheapskate. I stay at low cost hotels; I ask for extra meals on airplanes so I won’t have to eat on the ground. My expense reports are so low the clerks talk about them, "Did you see Bill’s latest? Four days, not a penny for food!" With that reputation, do you think anyone ever questions my expenses?

Lest you think I’m cheating the airlines, I should point out that meals which aren’t eaten in flight are thrown away! Airlines try to set up programs to give leftover food to the poor, but health departments won’t let them-the meals have been out of the refrigerator too long. Asking for extra food doesn’t cost the airlines a penny and saves my boss money.

Verily I say unto you, there are worse things in life than being known for being tight with the boss’ money. Bosses feel exactly the way Christ does. Remember the story of the talents and how the boss received the servant who handled his money well?

His lord said unto him, Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord. Matthew 25:23

If you don’t watch out for every penny of company money, how can the boss trust you with dollars? If you can’t handle dollars, how can you be promoted and enter into the joy of the boss?

People ask me "Why are you so careful-it’s only company money?" Don’t kid yourself, it’s your money, if you don’t spend it, your boss has more money to pay you.

Computers print out numbers added up every which way. Your boss knows exactly how much you cost, not only your pay, but your health benefits, social security, unemployment, your share of the rent, your share of the heat, your desk, your tools, your travel, and everything else you don’t think about, down to the last penny.

Believe me, your boss gets those reports and looks at them. The boss knows what you cost; it’s up to you to make sure your work is worth everything you cost and more. One way to be more wonderful than money is to cost less money, then you don’t have to be as wonderful.

Honesty not only means working hard when the boss is watching, it’s working even harder when the boss is away to do part of what he does on top of your own job:

Who then is a faithful and wise servant, whom his lord hath made ruler over his household, to give them meat in due season? Blessed is that servant, whom his lord when he cometh shall find so doing. Verily I say unto you, That he shall make him ruler over all his goods. Matthew 24:45-47

Here we have a responsible servant-he distributes meat to the household. He’s paying out the boss’ money. Maybe he handles payroll, maybe it’s petty cash. Whatever his job, when the boss gets back and finds the job done well, the servant is promoted.

The passage also describes the servant who is not working when the boss returns. He loses his job.

Jesus is speaking about His return as well as telling us how to treat bosses. We should live our spiritual lives as if Christ might return at any moment; we should work as if the boss might pop in at any moment.

You probably work with at least one goof-off who gets away with not working. Remember in class when the teacher would be out of the room, some kids would fool around and some would work? Every time you do wrong, you make wrong a habit and it is harder to do right the next time. When you do right, you make right a habit, and doing right becomes easier.

God sees the goof-off, and the boss eventually sees it.

Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. Galatians 6:6-7

For we must all appear before the judgement seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad. II Corinthians 5:10

Goofing off never pays over the long haul; God judges slackers, but that is up to God. You are not to criticize the slacker; he works for the boss, not for you; he is paid with the boss’ money, not yours:

Who art thou that judgest another man’s servant? to his own master he standeth or falleth. Romans 14:4

Uplift and encourage the slacker, do not condemn him:

Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted. Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:1-2

Take Care of God’s Work

The last principle for prosperity we’ll talk about this week is to take care of God’s work as well as your boss’ work and your own work.

The liberal soul shall be made fat: and he that watereth shall be watered also himself. Proverbs 11:25

At the time the King James was written, the word "Liberal" meant "generous." Now, a liberal is someone who wants the government to take your money and give it to people who produce fatherless children through fornication, but at that time, nobody ever conceived of the government taking money from the taxpayers for that purpose.

If you are generous to the Lord’s work and to other people, the Bible says you will be successful, if you water God’s work, God will water you.

There is that scatereth and yet increaseth; and there is that withholdeth more than is meet, but it tendeth to poverty. Proverbs 11:24

If you scatter your resources to help God’s work, your own will increase, but being stingy makes you poor. If you put your own finances ahead of the Lord’s work your labor may come to nothing. This is a great mystery to me; I’ve seen it all my life, but it’s still hard to believe.

I know it’s hard to keep dropping money in that box back there, especially when times are tough. My worst struggle in my entire life is believing that God will take care of me and dropping in money I need for other things, but God has never let me down yet.

Summary

We have covered the first six principles of being wonderful enough to prosper this week: avoiding unequal yoke, persistence, humility, don’t complain, honesty, and taking care of God’s work. Persistence means not quitting-when the going gets tough, the tough get going. Unequal yoke means never have an unsaved business partner or spouse because it will cost you dearly as it cost me.

Humility means doing what your boss wants the way the boss wants it done even if he’s a bad boss. It means politeness. It means working quietly, letting your work speak for itself and letting others praise you. Honesty means working just as hard for your boss as for yourself even if he’s a bad boss. Honesty also means supporting God’s work.

Being wonderful is a real pain, I admit. There is a hymn which says "Must I be carried to the skies on flowery beds of ease, while others fight to win the prize and sail through bloody seas." To be honest, I’d far rather have flowery beds of ease, but that’s not the way God usually works, I’ve spent most of my life in bloody seas and so will you.

How can you be wonderful all the days of your life? Simple. Be wonderful one day at a time. Eastern Airlines used to say "We’ve got to earn our wings every day." They had the right idea, but they didn’t do it, and now they’re gone.

That’s no surprise. Jesus did not offer blessings to those who "Hear my words." Jesus did not offer blessing to those who "Know my words." Jesus offered blessing to those who "Hear my words and do them." Merely knowing the secrets of prosperity is not enough, you have to do them. Knowing the Bible is no help; you’ve got to do what it says.

This message has been directed to the saved; these verses won’t mean much to someone who’s not accepted Christ as Savior, although many of God’s commands have been accepted into common business wisdom. It’s hard to follow God’s principles of prosperity without God’s help, that’s why the saved should be such an example to others at work.

The Bible Teaches You How To Prosper, Part III

Last week, we discussed six Biblical principles of being wonderful enough to prosper: avoid unequal yoke, persistence, humility, don’t complain, honesty, and support God’s work. Complaining makes everybody around you suffer; both your boss and God hate complaints.

Complaining hurts you worse than it hurts anyone else. Men who complain used to be called "sourpuss." "Puss" is a slang term for face. Complaining makes a man’s face look sour, and over the years, the wrinkles, scars, and other marks of sourness become permanent.

Young ladies, a negative, complaining, bitter attitude makes you look ugly. I’ve been male all my life; I can assure you that a cheerful, helpful attitude makes a woman very desirable to a man. Good cheer makes you a better employee, it makes God happy with you, it also makes you more attractive. Such a deal! You gain far more beauty from a cheerful heart within you than you can possibly gain from makeup painted on the outside, and cheerfulness costs less than makeup. Beautifying your face or figure without beautifying your heart is like painting a fender without scraping the rust off or sweeping dust under the rug; what’s underneath always shows through.

Who are the most popular girls at school, the sourest or the happiest?

Complaining is selfish, it assumes that everybody cares about your problems; humility cares about other people.

Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man on the things of others. Philippians 2:3-4

Honesty means working just as hard for your boss and for God as for yourself, using equal measure for your own work, for the boss, and for God. Doing less than your best for a boss or teacher or God is an abomination to the Lord and disgusts God, and you can’t hide it.

Divers weights and divers measures, both of them are alike abomination to the LORD. Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right. Proverbs 20:10-11

Humility means politeness. It means working quietly, letting your work speak for itself, not your words.

Let another man praise thee, and not thine own mouth; a stranger, and not thine own lips. Proverbs 27:2

Humility also means doing what your boss wants the way the boss wants it done. It doesn’t matter if you are smarter than the boss, you aren’t the boss, you have to do it the way you are told.

I’ve fired more employees because they weren’t humble enough to do things the way we needed them done than for any other reason. The smartest people have the hardest time realizing the company pays them to do things the company way, not their way.

That’s no surprise. Satan was one of the best of God’s angels but Satan wanted to be boss. We all know what happened to him:

How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! how art thou cut down to the ground, which didst weaken nations! For thou hast said in thine heart, I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God: I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north: I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most high. Yet thou shalt be brought down to hell, to the sides of the pit. Isaiah 14:12-15

Satan got fired because he was too proud to let God be boss. Eve lost her job tending the garden of Eden because she wanted to be like God instead of accepting the position God gave her. Pride is fatal:

God resisteth the proud and giveth grace unto the humble. I Peter 5:5

How can you stand when God Himself resists you? Pride is worth nothing; it only goeth before destruction.

Tonight, we’ll consider four more principles of prosperity, but first, let us pray.

Our Father, please, help us to accept your commands that we work diligently every day of our lives. Help us to keep on keeping on, and give us the strength to work to do all things unto thee. Amen.

Work Hard

Principle #7 is hard work to go with your cheerful, uncomplaining, persistent, humble attitude. Not just persistent work, but hard work. I once saw a little box in a novelty shop, on top it said, "This box holds the key to prosperity." I opened it, and inside was a note with one word. It said, "Work!" That’s Biblical.

Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might. Ecclesiastes 9:10a

Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise Proverbs 6:6

He becometh poor that dealeth with a slack hand: but the hand of the diligent maketh rich. Proverbs 10:4

Seest thou a man diligent in his business? He shall stand before Kings; he shall not stand before mean men. Proverbs 22:29

Not slothful in business; fervent in spirit; serving the LORD; Romans 12:11

I’m so thankful for the very few schools which won’t give A’s unless young people average 97%. Anything less is an A- or something worse.

Public schools think 90% is an A, but that’s silly. What if your mechanic fixed 90% of what was wrong with your car, would you go back? What if your car started 90% of the time, would you keep it or would you junk it?

What if our roofers drove 90% of the nails right, would the houses they build stay up? Out in the real world, kids, the only thing that counts is 100%, zero defects, 4.0! I’m thankful for teachers who make kids do and redo and redo their math until it’s right! How else can they learn accuracy?

What if the post office delivered 10% of the mail wrong? People think they deliver lots of letters wrong, but their actual error rate is well below 1%. The post office delivers more than 99% of their letters correctly, yet most people think they have a much worse record than they do. Why is this? People remember what you do wrong far, far longer than they remember what you do right, that’s a fact of life. As Shakespeare said, "The evil that men do lives after them, the good is oft interred with their bones." Your boss remembers your mistakes longer than he remembers what you do right, so you better not make many mistakes.

The world does not line up for the privilege of handing you money; you have to go out and earn it. Rich Kirby says he doesn’t see how anybody can make it on only 40 hours per week, 40 hours barely covers costs, making a profit at all takes longer than that. The Bible says "six days shalt thou labor," there is none of this 40 hours per week nonsense in the Bible. To advance in your job, you must not only do what is asked, you must look for extra work. Jesus said:

And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain. Matthew 5:41

Any Roman soldier could compel any citizen to carry a burden for a mile and people hated doing it. Christ said they should do more than they were asked. This sounded strange, but don’t you think your boss appreciates it when you do more than you are asked? Are you an employee whom the boss could call at 2AM because he needed you for a sudden 7AM meeting? If he did, how would you react?

It’s not extraordinary to serve your boss, it’s only reasonable:

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. Romans 12:1

Note the words "living sacrifice." God is not asking you to die for your boss, God tells you to sacrifice every moment of every waking day of your life to your spouse, to your children, to your boss, to the church, giving `til it hurts. Giving reasonably is not sacrifice.

We tend to think sacrifice is unreasonable, but God says being a living sacrifice is "your reasonable service." Remember J-O-Y, Jesus, Others, Yourself? And C-B-Y, Customers, Boss, Yourself?

Christ may or may not ask you to die for Him, martyrdom is rare in the United States, but He commands you to live for him. Christ also tells us to serve those who rule over us:

Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh; not with eye service, as menpleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God: and whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the LORD, and not unto men; knowing that of the LORD ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the LORD Christ. Colossians 3:22-24, see also Ephesians 6:5-8

Doing what you are told with all your heart is only reasonable and it serves Christ. The boss always comes first:

But which of you, having a servant plowing or feeding cattle, will say unto him by and by, when he is come in from the field, Go and sit down to meal? And will not rather say unto him, Make ready wherewith I may sup, and gird thyself, and serve me, till I have eaten and drunken; and afterward thou shalt eat and drink? Doth he thank that servant because he did the things that were commanded of him? I trou not. So likewise ye, when ye have done all those things which are commanded you, say We are unprofitable servants, we have done that which was our duty to do. Luke 17:7-10

God says working hard isn’t extra, it’s your duty. Merely doing your duty makes you an unprofitable servant.

Even the lost know this-medals are awarded for heroism "above and beyond the call of duty." On top of "more wonderful than money" and "happy money," remember the A B C D’s of money-your output must be Above and Beyond the Call of Duty to prosper. A-Above B-Beyond C-Call D-Duty. A B C D Above and Beyond the Call of Duty. That’s how to be a hero in the military and at work. Military heroes get dead. At work, heroes get paid more and are worthy ambassadors for the Lord Christ.

Paid more? How’s that again? Paid more? Simple. Work Above and Beyond the Call of Duty as if there were nothing to it. Not grudgingly, or of necessity, for the boss loveth a cheerful giver.

It’s plain common sense that a boss appreciates your doing more than is asked. How can you show you are ready for a bigger job except by doing more than your job? Put yourself in the boss’ shoes. You have two workers and need to promote one. The first does superb work but always arrives barely on the dot and is out the door in a flash at quitting time. The other is in early straightening up and stays late making sure the lights are out, the doors are locked, and the place is ready for the next day. Whom do you promote, the one who does only what is asked, or the one who looks after the whole business?

It’s reasonable to sacrifice for the boss; he pays your bills. You write checks with your name at the bottom. You fill in "pay to the order of" and the bank gives the money to them. Your boss is probably the only place you regularly get a check with your name at the top, pay to the order of you!

Isn’t someone who does that worth a little extra work in appreciation? With no complaints about low pay? If you make your boss feel bad about not paying you enough, he may feel so guilty he decides not to pay you at all.

Hard work means not quitting before the job’s done, no matter how long it takes, no matter how tired you get:

And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God. Luke 9:62

Quitters are not only unfit for the Kingdom of God, they are unfit for the payroll.

Employment sounds like much work, and so it is. So what?

And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. Galatians 6:9

How can you be wonderful all the days of your life? Be wonderful one day at a time. Eastern Airlines used to say "We’ve got to earn our wings every day," but they weren’t more wonderful than money so nobody gave them any money. They had the right idea, but they didn’t do it, and they’re gone.

Faithfulness and Loyalty

After point #7, hard work, comes #8, faithfulness. Faithfulness means showing up every day whether you feel like it or not. Faithfulness means looking out for the business instead of for yourself.

What’s the limit on business growth? Is it money? Is it that big businesses don’t have the money to build factories?

IBM has billions in cash; they could throw up any number of factories; they don’t have faithful people to run them.

I know a parts dealer who has several stores. Why not more stores? Can’t he get parts? Big A, his parts supplier, loves him. One phone call would fill any building in the state with parts, no questions asked.

Maybe he can’t get buildings? No, banks are after him to borrow more money. To banks, you and I are an expense, they have to pay us interest, but he’s a customer, he pays them. No, he could get buildings in a heartbeat.

For all their money, he and IBM can’t expand because they can’t get faithful people. Listen to Solomon’s lament:

Which yet my soul seeketh, but I find not: one man among a thousand have I found; but a woman among all these have I not found. Ecclesiastes 7:28

Solomon ran the Kingdom of Israel like a family business. The population of Israel was about the population of IBM or General Motors. Solomon’s annual cash flow was comparable to GM’s sales. GM handles more money per year than all but the 6 or 7 largest countries in the world.

What was Solomon’s problem? Not money, he was swimming in gold. He could not get faithful people to run the business, only one employee in a thousand was worth anything.

As an aside, I should point out that some men use this verse to justify not trusting their wives, but this is grossly unfair. Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines (I Kings 11:3). A woman can’t trust a man who hasn’t dedicated his life to taking care of her. Solomon had not dedicated himself to a wife; he had far too many women to give any of them the time, attention, care, conversation, praise, and devotion a wife needs.

This verse shows the pain a husband suffers when his wife is not his but also reminds husbands that wives need faithful devotion to help them belong. Your wife needs your faithful devotion so she can be happy to belong to you and stay on your payroll; your boss needs your faithful devotion so you can belong to him and stay on his payroll.

To get back to business, your boss’ main problem is finding faithful followers. Your path to prosperity is to be a good and faithful servant; your boss will clasp you to his bosom with hoops of gold and never let you go. Why do the Marines look for "A few good men"? The Marines are realistic; they know there aren’t many good men.

Remember the Boy Scout oath? It goes: Trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, reverent. What more do you need? That’s how to succeed.

Didn’t God say:

but we beseech you brethren, to work with your own hands, that ye may have lack of nothing. I Thessalonians 4:10b-12

That’s the secret! Why would God beg you to work with you own hands if everybody did it? Faithful workers are few as any boss will tell you. If you are faithful, your boss will treasure you and protect you. Take care of your boss and your boss will take care of you.

Faithfulness means being on your boss’ side. A house divided against itself cannot stand, Matthew 10:25. Unless you help your boss increase the business, it shall decrease, and you shall be out of a job. Work is like riding a bicycle-if you stop or even slow down, you fall.

You and your boss eat off the same income. You are sucking on the same straw and competitors want to shove their straws in your glass. Everybody wants to eat your lunch. When it comes to faithfulness, your boss agrees with Jesus when Jesus said:

He that is not with me is against me, and he that gathereth not with me scattereth abroad. Matthew 12:30

You are either part of the solution or you are part of the problem, and your boss doesn’t need more problems. God explains that you must help your boss defend your paycheck against competitors:

And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12

God says you’ve got to work together and watch the business every moment of every waking day:

Yet a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep: so shall thy poverty come as one that traveleth and thy want as an armed man. Proverbs 6:10-11

Be thou diligent to know the state of thy flocks, and look well to thy herds. For riches are not forever: and doth the crown endure to every generation? Proverbs 27:23-24

Your competitors will get you if you don’t watch out. GM shows this. When I came to the US to go to college in 1963, there were no Japanese cars on American roads and GM had 45-48% of the market. GM went to sleep for years as the Japanese took share from them; they are down to the low 30s now.

GM wasn’t humble. They did not ask us what kind of cars we wanted, they told us what cars we would buy. The Japanese took survey after survey and developed the most popular, reliable cars in America.

GM was a house divided. GM fights with suppliers and dealers and labor unions; you’ve read about these fights in the papers. When Mazda got in trouble, the Japanese unions took a pay cut and worked overtime for years to get a new model out to save their paychecks. Their house was not divided, all one body they.

GM wasn’t faithful. Their cars broke down and were hard to fix. A boss may forgive occasional unfaithfulness; customers never forgive.

GM complained. They griped to the government that the Japanese were unfair when all the Japanese were doing was offering better products at a better price. The government let in fewer Japanese cars so the Japanese raised prices and made more money to invest in new factories to make cars even better. GM raised prices and put the money into management bonuses. They improved their cars a bit, but not as much as the Japanese.

GM loved money instead of customers-management gave bonuses for profit instead of customer satisfaction, workers fought for more money instead of working to improve sales so there would be more money. Everybody fought to take out, nobody worried about putting in. God says the love of money is the root of all evil and that we should be living sacrifices. GM loved money and hated sacrifice; GM is going down. They were too proud to serve customers so customers went elsewhere.

Is it any wonder GM’s market share is down in the 30s and they are losing money? Is it any wonder that if you do these things, you have trouble finding a job?

Keep Quiet About Money

Humility leads to point #9, keep quiet about money. Philippians 2:3-4 tells you to look on the things of others, and we’ve just seen what happened when GM complained. Looking not on your own things means keeping quiet about your pay no matter how dissatisfied you may be. God tells you not to worry about money:

No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon. Therefore, I say unto you, take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Matthew 6:24-25a

You can’t serve both money and your boss. Not thinking about money brings you peace:

Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be make known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

Bosses want you to be more concerned with the work you do for them than with pay, vacations, and whatever else they do for you. If you want more money, ask God, not the boss.

I’ve messed up that one too. In one job, I felt I was being treated unfairly. I thought I was keeping my concerns to myself, but one day, a co-worker said to me "All you ever do is worry about what you’re getting paid!"

I was shocked-not only had I reduced my effectiveness, I had destroyed my testimony. I had to find another job.

Talking about pay makes someone unhappy, either you or the other person. This leads to murmuring and complaining which God forbids. Talking about pay is so divisive, it leads to so much bad feeling, that IBM forbids it utterly. You’ll be fired on the spot if IBM catches you talking about pay, your own, or anyone else’s. Discuss pay, and you’re out!

God forbids complaining in general; Jesus Himself specifically forbids complaining about money:

For the kingdom of heaven is like unto a man that is an householder, which went out early in the morning to hire laborers for his vineyard. And when he had agreed with the laborers for a penny a day, he sent them into his vineyard. And he went out about the third hour, and saw others standing idle in the marketplace, and said unto them; Go ye also into the vineyard, and whatsoever is right, I will give you. And they went their way. Again he went out about the sixth and ninth hour, and did likewise. And about the eleventh hour, he went out, and found others standing idle, and saith unto them, Why stand ye here all the day idle. They say unto him, Because no man hath hired us. He saith unto them, go ye also into the vineyard; and whatsoever is right, that shall ye receive. So when even was come, the Lord of the vineyard saith unto his steward, Call the laborers, and give them their hire, beginning from the last unto the first. And when they came that were hired about the eleventh hour, they received every man a penny. But when the first came, they supposed they should have received more; and they likewise received every man a penny. And when they had received it, they murmured against the goodman of the house, saying, These last have wrought but one hour, and thou hast made them equal unto us, which have borne the burden and heat of the day. But he answered one of them, and said, Friend, I do thee no wrong: didst not thou agree with me for a penny? Take that thine is, and go thy way: I will give unto this last even as unto thee. Is it not lawful for me to do what I will with mine own? Matthew 20:1-15

Your salvation is between you and Christ and none other. Your pay is between you and your boss and none other. The boss has no obligation to pay others in a way that seems right to you, it’s not your money. The boss must only pay you what you and he agreed. The boss can pay others any way he likes; it’s his money.

It’s the American tradition to do what you want with your own money. If you have 300 million to spend, you, too, can paint your name on the back ends of airplanes as Donald Trump did when he bought the Eastern shuttle. If the boss wants to spend money on a rattle-brained goof-off, it’s his lookout, not yours. Study to be quiet and to do your own business (I Thessalonians 4:10).

Your boss hires you because he wants your work more than he wants the money he pays you, but your pay is private between you and him. Even if you are paid standard wages and everybody knows what you make, don’t talk about it.

McDonalds has people wrap hamburgers because the boss wants burgers wrapped more than he wants the money he pays to have them wrapped; if he didn’t, he wouldn’t pay. Anything you buy, you want more than the money or you’d keep the money.

More Than Money

This is one of the fundamental principles of business: Nothing happens unless it is worth more than money.

As I said earlier, I learned this while working for IBM in 1966. I asked my boss a question. He took me to his office and asked where IBM got its money. I didn’t know so he said "We are able to pay you because customers send us money. We want customers to send us money because they feel we earned it, not just because they gotta send money. We want happy money here in IBM."

He said, "Our salesmen don’t call on people with no money. Their job is to convince customers to want our products more than money or they don’t make the sale. Our job in engineering is to design products that are more wonderful than money or they won’t sell and the company won’t have money to pay us."

He said, "Look, you want to get paid more, right? I’ll tell you how. Make our products worth more to customers so we can raise the price. I don’t mean stealing, I mean raise the price because it’s genuinely better. Don’t worry about pay, take care of customers. If you take care of customers, customers will take care of IBM, and IBM will take care of you. That’s how you get paid more-get us more money so we have more money to pay you with."

I understood capitalism. IBM did not pay me, customers paid me, IBM just handled the money. That’s important, kids, for you to remember, your boss doesn’t pay you, customers pay you, the boss does you the favor of collecting the money; you don’t have to go get it. If you don’t think collecting money is a pain, ask anyone who runs a business.

Nothing happens unless it’s more wonderful than money. When you buy anything, you buy it because you want it more than you want the money; if it were not more wonderful to you than the money, you would keep the money and nothing would happen.

I shouldn’t have had to have my boss tell me that; it’s in the Bible. Remember the verses about do with thy might and do unto the Lord? Doing with thy might unto the Lord is IBM company policy. The Lord loveth a cheerful giver; IBM loveth a cheerful worker.

I found out later that what my boss told me was in his manager’s handbook. IBM wants to be sure every kid gets that lecture at the right time so they teach all their managers to pass it on. Making sure every employee does as unto the Lord is IBM doctrine. Our church has doctrine about separation and obedience; IBM has doctrine about customer service, hard work, and sacrifice. Joining IBM is like joining a church. Managers teach IBM doctrine to new people like we teach Bible follow-up to new members except IBM does a more consistent job.

IBM teaches you to take care every day that your work is more wonderful than the money you get or you lose your job.

How do you get more money without asking about money? Pray, and strive quietly to make your work more wonderful to your boss. As the value of your work increases, most bosses share the increase with you. If your boss doesn’t, it’s easy to find a boss who will, provided your work has truly increased in value.

This is an old, old Biblical principle:

Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. But shun profane and vain babblings: for they will increase unto more ungodliness. II Timothy 2:15-16

What could be more vain than babbling that you aren’t paid enough? Don’t do it; griping not only makes your boss unhappy, it leads to ungodliness.

The word "study" means exactly what you think. Young people, your full-time job is to study so that when you become workers you need not be ashamed. Workers, you must continue to study and learn new skills, how else can you be approved of God? Increasing your skills is not only approved of God, it makes you approved of the boss, and that is the way to more pay.

Women who go back to work after a child-rearing absence of two or three years usually have great trouble catching up. Everything changes so fast your skills are out of date every few years, I don’t care what you do. Some people think it’s too much trouble to stay current, but if you think education is expensive, you ought to try ignorance. If you think keeping up to date is costly, try letting your skills slide; that will cost you more.

Working humbly and quietly is the key to prosperity:

but we beseech you brethren, that ye increase more and more; and that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you; that ye may walk honestly toward them that are without, and that ye may have lack of nothing. I Thessalonians 4:10b-12

Being quiet and working with your own hands leads to lacking nothing.

Let another man praise thee, and not thine own mouth; a stranger, and not thine own lips. Proverbs 27:2

and let her own works praise her in the gates Proverbs 31:31

This woman’s work praises her, not her words. Working humbly and quietly and letting others praise you is not only how ye may have prosperity by lacking nothing, it’s superb testimony, as unsaved bosses see that you are different from all the other workers and wonder why.

Take Care of God’s Work

The 10th rule for prosperity is to take care of God’s work.

Thus speaketh the LORD of hosts, saying, This people say, The time is not come, the time that the LORD’s house should be built. Then came the word of the LORD by Haggai the prophet saying, Is it time for you, O ye, to dwell in your ceiled [finely finished] houses, and this house lie waste? Now therefore thus saith the LORD of hosts; Consider your ways. Ye have sown much, and bring in little; ye eat, but ye have not enough; ye drink, but ye are not filled with drink; ye clothe you, but there is none warm; and he that earneth wages, earneth wages to put it into a bag with holes.

Ye looked for much, and lo, it came to little; and when ye brought it home, I did blow on it. Why? saith the LORD of hosts. Because of mine house that is waste, and ye run every man to his own house. Haggai 1:2-6,9

These people put their own work ahead of the Lord’s work and their effort came to nothing. It’s hard to keep plugging away handing out tracts, visiting the lost, and doing other work for the Lord, but it’s the most important part of God’s prescription for prosperity.

People say "I can’t help with the church, I haven’t the skills!" God does not hold you accountable for skills you don’t have, He wants you to use whatever you do have. Don’t worry about what you can’t do, concentrate on what you can do. Doing the Lord’s work is the most important part of God’s prescription for prosperity.

So, if you want the formula for success in a single word, remember Eddie Sleeper’s little box holding the secret of prosperity-work!

If you can remember a little more, remember IBMs axioms: Be more wonderful than money, take only happy money.

It’s best of all, of course, to remember what the Bible says about prosperity: last week, points 1 through 6: avoid unequal yoke, persistence, humility, don’t complain, honesty, and support God’s work

For this week, points 7 through 10: not just persistent work but hard work, loyal faithfulness, keep quiet about money, and take care of God’s work. I listed doing God’s work twice on purpose, that wasn’t an accident, doing God’s work is that important, it’s what we’re made for.

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:10

Disclaimer

There’s no guarantee that following these rules will make you rich; that’s not God’s way. We’re commanded to accept the Bible by faith; if everybody who followed the Bible got rich, people would follow the Bible through evidence, not faith. Obeying God is always a good idea, however, and following God’s rules gives you an edge at work so you can make the best of whatever you do.

Business and the Christian Life

I’ve pointed out Biblical principles how to prosper in business-separating from the lost, humility, faithfulness, hard work, concern for others, taking care of God’s work, uncomplaining sacrificial service to the boss and more. The verses I used are familiar-Pastor Anderson has preached them over and over as keys to success in the Christian life.

Separation, humility, concern for the things of others, quietness, faithfulness, hard work, taking care of God’s work, and service to others are the building blocks of the Christian life as they are building blocks of success in business.

God knew we could never learn two sets of rules, one for business and another set for salvation. We have trouble enough with one set of rules, so God made one set do for both. With God, learning one set of rules gives you the second set free. Learning how to succeed in the Christian life helps you succeed in business and vice versa.

It’s an even better deal than that. My wife and I became concerned about the divorce rate and have been collecting material to teach our sons how to be good husbands and to avoid the pain of divorce. I don’t want my grandchildren growing up in single-parent homes.

The very same verses God wrote for business and for the Christian life apply equally to marriage. Separation, concern for others, humility, quietness, faithfulness, hard work, taking care of God’s work, and sacrificial service to your husband or wife are the building blocks of successful Christian marriage, successful Christian life, and successful business.

Stores occasionally offer a 2 for 1 sale-buy one, get one free. God has a permanent offer of three for one-accept one set of rules, and you can prosper in marriage, in business, and in the rest of your life. That’s 3 for 1!

The irony is that if God chooses to let you become rich, it won’t do you much good unless you don’t want it. If you want the money, it harms you rather than helping:

For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. I Timothy 6:10

There’s nothing wrong with having money but there is everything wrong with loving it. Coveting money not only brings you sorrow, you will never be satisfied, no matter how much you get:

He that loveth silver shall not be satisfied with silver; nor he that loveth abundance with increase: this also is vanity. When goods increase, they are increased that eat them, and what good is there to the owners thereof, save the beholding of them with their eyes? Ecclesiastes 5:10-11

I have worked for many millionaires. As their wealth increases, it goes away. Each of them is just like you and me; they all wonder how they will make the next payment, the only difference is the size of the payment. You and I wonder where our next hundred bucks is coming from; my millionaire boss worries about his next hundred thousand.

Consider Donald Trump; he’s worth 3 or 4 billion but he owes 4 or 5 billion, nobody knows how much, nobody can count that high. He’s worried where his next 100 million is coming from. And has he not pierced himself through with many sorrows?

Let me close with this:

The sleep of a laboring man is sweet, whether he eat little or much: but the abundance of the rich will not suffer him to sleep. There is a sore evil which I have seen under the sun, namely, riches kept for the owners thereof to their hurt. Ecclesiastes 5:12-13

God gives to us so we can give to Him, not so we can brag how smart we are. Have Mr. Trump’s riches helped him or hurt him? Mr. Trump’s wife has left him and the banks are after him. Do you think his riches will help him sleep?

This message has been directed mostly at the saved; these verses won’t mean much to someone who has not accepted Christ as Savior, although many of God’s principles have been accepted into common business wisdom. It is very hard to follow God’s principles of prosperity, though, without God’s help.