How to be God’s Friend - II Chronicles 20:7

Abraham was a friend of God.  God wants you to be His friend, but you have to want to be His friend.

Art not thou our God, who didst drive out the inhabitants of this land before thy people Israel, and gavest it to the seed of Abraham thy friend for ever?  II Chronicles 20:7

And the scripture was fulfilled which saith, Abraham believed God, and it was imputed unto him for righteousness: and he was called the Friend of God.  James 2:23

And the LORD spake unto Moses face to face, as a man speaketh unto his friend. And he turned again into the camp: but his servant Joshua, the son of Nun, a young man, departed not out of the tabernacle.  Exodus 33:11

The Children of Israel realized that God and Abraham were friends and that God and Moses were friends.  Is God’s friendship only for Abraham and Moses?  Or is it for the rest of us?  It’s for all Christians:

Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you.  John 15:15

One pastor told me, “Jesus was talking to the apostles, church leaders are God’s friends, but the people aren’t.”  It’s true that Jesus was talking to His inner circle in John 15, but what about Luke 12:4?

And I say unto you my friends, Be not afraid of them that kill the body...  Luke 12:4

Luke 12:1 shows that Jesus said that to an “innumerable multitude;” Jesus wants all of His people to be His friends.  The Greek word for “friend” means “dear friend.”  Jesus offers friendship to all who hear and believe.  God wants us to be His dear friends, but you can’t be God’s friend without knowing who He really is.

God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth.  John 4:24

You not only have to know God, you must also want to be His friend by being friendly to Him, which means reaching out to Him in prayer, worship, and reading His Word:

A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.  Proverbs 18:24

Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.  James 4:8a

Christ made the first move in building a relationship with you by dying to save you (Rom. 5:8).  After you accept His free offer of salvation, you choose whether or not to draw close enough to Him to be His friend.  As with being friends with a human, this is an ongoing back-and-forth relationship with the man, Jesus Christ.  He had human emotions and feelings just as you do.

He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not. ⁴Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.  Isaiah 53:3-4

He suffered pain when people whom He wanted to save rejected Him:

Jesus wept.  John 11:35

We must relate to Jesus Christ the man as we relate to close friends and spouses.  You ask Him questions and get answers through the Holy Spirit and by reading His Word.

God loves us and wants to bless us.  His rules help us find happiness but His justice demands that we walk with Him in order to enjoy the blessings He offers.  God wants us to choose to follow Him out of love as He wants husband and wife to serve each other from their hearts out of love, not just because they made a promise (1 Cor. 7:33-34).

Works-based salvation where people try to earn God’s favor is idolatry; works-based marriage where people try to earn love is whoredom.  As husband and wife should decide to be friends out of love for each other, God wants His people to decide to be His friends out of love for Him and because He first loved us (Rom. 5:8).  Our love for God makes us want to please Him; love between husband and wife makes them want to please each other.

When you accept salvation, you are no longer your own, you belong to God:

For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.  I Corinthians 6:20

When you marry, you are no longer your own, you belong to your spouse.  Married people give up their individual wants and promise to spend their lives serving each other (Mt. 19:6, Mk. 10:8).  Your Job isn’t to worry whether your spouse is giving 100%, your Job before God is to make sure that you are giving 100%.  Married people serve God by serving each other and become friends with God by becoming friends with each other.  Your friendship with God and your spouse draws others to Christ.  Unified families build a unified church where revival may happen.

I. You Must Obey God to be His Friend

We can’t be God’s friends without loving God, and loving Him means obeying Him and presenting our bodies to Him to use as He chooses (Rom. 12:1-2):

Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.  Matthew 7:21

And why call ye me, Lord, Lord, and do not the things which I say?  Luke 6:46

And this is love, that we walk after his commandments.  II John 1:6a

For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments:  I John 5:3a

You can be friends with your boss, but you have to remember who’s in charge.  To be friends with God, we have to let go of our desires, follow the leading of the Holy Spirit, and let God be in charge.  He holds the reins in all that we are and in all that we do.  He raises up and He puts down, blessed be the name of the Lord!

II. You Must Know God to be His Friend

If you want to worship the One True God and be His friend, you must learn about Him so you can worship Him in tRuth and believe that He wants friendship.  You first have to know God, and there are two ways to learn about God.  We can study God by reading the Bible, that is, study God’s Word.  John 1:1 says,

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.  John 1:1

for thou hast magnified thy word above all thy name.  Psalm 138:2 b

God is His word and his word is very important, it’s been magnified above His name.  Studying the Bible is the primary way to know God, but there’s another way to know God, and that’s to study His works.

But ask now the beasts, and they shall teach thee; and the fowls of the air, and they shall tell thee: or speak to the earth, and it shall teach thee: and the fishes of the sea shall declare unto thee.  Job 12:7-8

For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead;  Romans 1:20

We can learn some of the invisible things of God by studying the things He made, we can learn about God by looking around.  Jesus spoke of weather, birds, sheep, goats, He talked about many of the things that He had made to help Him teach people about God so that they could love Him and obey Him by knowing His works.

Jesus said that we were His friends because He had told us everything God had told Him.  Consider this:

The Revelation of Jesus Christ, which God gave unto him, to shew unto his servants things which must shortly come to pass; and he sent and signified it by his angel unto his servant John:  Revelation 1:1

Knowing God’s plans takes you out of the category of servant and makes you a friend.  Studying the Book of Revelation lets you in on how God’s plan will play out at the end so you can be His friend.

You also have to open your heart to Jesus in prayer so that you welcome the fact that He knows you:

I am the good shepherd, and know my sheep, and am known of mine.  John 10:14

My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me:  John 10:27

God knows us, of course (Gen. 16:13, Ps. 69:5, 139:2-4), but unless we ask Jesus to come into our hearts, forgive our sins, and repent, which means stop doing them.  Unless we trust Him to help us and to lead us, He won’t “know” us as belonging to Him and we won’t “know” Him and can’t be led by His Spirit.  We can’t be God’s friends without entering into a relationship with His Son, Jesus Christ, so that we’re written in His Book of Life which is mentioned many times in the Book of Revelation.

II a Few People Come to God

In Jesus’ parable of the sower, seeds that fell on good ground grew into 50 or 100 times as much as the original seed, but that doesn’t happen very often unless you’re farming.  Think of the thousands of seeds a tree drops every year.  In most places, a new tree can’t grow until an old tree dies and makes room for it.  Only one seed from each tree, on the average, can grow into another tree, the other seeds die.  Most seeds don’t grow at all even though they’re made so that they could grow into new trees.

God creates many seeds which could live; most don’t.  The Bible teaches the same lesson.  Jesus said,

Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.  Matthew 7:13-14

A woman is born with many eggs in her ovaries.  Few of her eggs that could become people are born, and of all the people who’re born, few find God’s way of salvation.  God makes lots of spare seeds so that He always has enough trees, He makes enough people that He always has a few saved ones, a remnant.

Seeds look alike, but no two trees are the same.  Look closely, you’ll find that no two leaves are the same.  Scientists say that no two snowflakes are alike.  Of all of the billions and trillions of snowflakes that fall every year; each and every one is different from all the rest.  God doesn’t do mass production; everything He makes is one of a kind, including you and me.  Each one of us decides whether to be a friend of God or just a servant.

II b Each Person Comes to God in his or her own Way

Every person is different.  The lines of our hands, our fingerprints, we’re unique.  There’s nobody like you in the entire world.  God has 6 or 7 billion unique people running around, but God knows all about you, and He cares about taking care of you:

Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.  I Peter 5:7

But the very hairs of your head are all numbered.  Matthew 10:30

It’s getting easier for God to number my hairs because there aren’t as many as there were, but He knows how many there are and He knows what happened to each one.  He knows all about me, He knows all about you.  You and I are precious to Him, He sent His Son to die for us, we’re that precious.  God Numbers the hairs of your head, God’s Word teaches that God knows your uniqueness, but you have to study the works of God to understand just how different you are.  Nobody else has the same fingerprints.  The way your hair grows is like no one else.  Given that you aren’t like anybody else, you shouldn’t compare yourself to others:

For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.  II Corinthians 10:12

Each person should be himself or herself as God made him or her, but most people follow what’s “in” and dress alike.  Why?  Romans 12:2 says we shouldn’t be conformed to this world and Romans 8:29 says we’re to be conformed to the image of Christ, why should we follow the image of anyone else?  Following another person instead of following God can lead to idolatry, but how many follow God?

III. Why Few Become God’s Friends

We just read Matthew 7:13-14, which says that very few people come to God.  Why does God make all these seeds if so few live?  Why does He make so many people if so few accept salvation?  The Works of God can tell us what God did, but we have to go back to the Word of God to find out why.  For example, Genesis 2:18 tells us that God made woman because it was not good for man to be alone.  The Bible says:

And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.  Genesis 2:25

Why should Adam or Eve be ashamed to be naked?  Husband and wife are one flesh, there’s no shame in being naked before your spouse.  Why would they have been ashamed?  Who was there to see?  God was there, God walked in the garden with them but they weren’t ashamed to be naked before Him because they had no sin, they were clean.  After they sinned, however,

And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons.  And they heard the voice of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day: and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God amongst the trees of the garden.  And the LORD God called unto Adam, and said unto him, Where art thou?  And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself.  Genesis 3:7-10

III a Pride keeps us from friendship with God

Adam knew that God was holy.  Adam knew that Adam had sinned.  He was afraid to come to God.  And what did God want?  God wanted to be with Adam and Eve; God wanted to hang out with the people He’d made, He wanted to be friends as He had before, but they were afraid.  God says:

Be ye holy for I am holy.  I Peter 1:16

Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.  James 4:10

God is all holiness, of course, but He’s also all love, He sent His Son to give us holiness so we could be His friends if we choose to be.  God wanted to be Adam’s friend, but Adam knew Adam’s sin and wouldn’t humble himself so that God could lift him up and be friends again.  I John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

That’s true now, it was true then.  Adam wouldn’t confess his sin, he blamed Eve.  Adam wouldn’t humble himself to ask for God’s forgiveness; he couldn’t be God’s friend after he’d sinned.  Adam had been God’s friend, they had been together in the garden, but when Adam sinned, he wouldn’t ask forgiveness.  Adam gave up God’s friendship.  If he had confessed, God would have forgiven him and they would probably have stayed in the garden and have walked and talked with their friend God as they had from the beginning.

Look at what happened when God sent Moses to lead His people out of Egypt.  God rolled back the sea, they crossed, God let the sea come back and drown the Egyptians.  God gave them water to drink and manna to eat, and spoke to them out of the fire.  What happened?  Moses went up Mt. Sinai to get the 10 Commandments that were “written with the finger of God.”

And when the people saw that Moses delayed to come down out of the mount, the people gathered themselves together unto Aaron, and said unto him, Up, make us gods, which shall go before us, for as for this Moses, the man that brought us up out of the land of Egypt, we wot not what is become of him.  Exodus 32:1

Did they give God the glory?  Did they want to relate to God?  No, they said, “this Moses, the man that brought us up out of the land of Egypt.”  Moses was away, but was God gone?  No, God’s everywhere, God was with them, but they couldn’t see God’s man, so they thought God was gone.  Were they worshipping Moses?  They asked Aaron to make them an idol, Aaron did, and they worshipped the golden calf.

God wanted to bless the Children of Israel but they would neither draw nigh to Him nor rely on Him.  God’s people were afraid to talk to God.  Sometime later, Moses reviewed what had happened:

And ye said, Behold, the LORD our God hath shewed us his glory and his greatness, and we have heard his voice out of the midst of the fire: we have seen this day that God doth talk with man, and he liveth.  Now therefore why should we die? for this great fire will consume us: if we hear the voice of the Lord our God any more, then we shall die.  For who is there of all flesh, that hath heard the voice of the living God speaking out of the midst of the fire, as we have, and lived?  Go thou near, and hear all that the Lord our God shalt say: and speak thou unto us all that the LORD our God shall speak unto thee; and we will hear it and do it.  Deuteronomy 5:24-27, another very sad passage

They asked “who has heard the voice of God and lived?”  What a silly question, they had heard the voice of God and lived, but they’d sinned with the calf.  Like Adam, they could’ve asked God’s forgiveness for worshiping the idol.  They wouldn’t confess, they wouldn’t humble themselves; God couldn’t lift them up, so they were afraid to talk to God.  They told Moses to talk to God and tell them what God said.

Sinful human leaders can easily be tempted to abuse whatever authority God gives them.  Jesus criticized the scribes and Pharisees for abusing their position between the people and God.

Then spake Jesus to the multitude, and to his disciples, ²Saying The scribes and the Pharisees sit in Moses' seat: ³All therefore whatsoever they bid you observe, that observe and do; but do not ye after their works: for they say, and do not.  Matthew 23:1-3

People must be careful to go directly to God without letting other humans block the path to God.

III b Fear keeps us from friendship with God

The people were afraid to accept God’s love. I John 4:18 says, “Perfect love casteth out fear, he who feareth is not made perfect in love.”  God offered them love and friendship, God wanted them to love Him so that He could speak to them directly and they were afraid.  Are Christians different today?  Are we afraid of talking directly to God?

III c Laziness keeps us from friendship with God

Do we speak to God ourselves, or would we rather someone else spoke to God for us?  How often do we hear, “Oh pastor, could you pray about my problem?”  Does God hear a pastor’s prayers any better than He hears our prayers?  Can’t we pray about our own problems?  Are we afraid of God, or are we just lazy?  Real prayer is hard work, are we saying that the problem is serious enough for someone else to pray about it but not serious enough for us to work at praying about it?  Laziness keeps us from God.

III d Ignorance keeps us from friendship with God

It may not be laziness; people may not know that we should all approach God for ourselves:

And when Simon saw that through laying on of the apostles' hands the Holy Ghost was given, he offered them money, Saying, Give me also this power, that on whomsoever I lay hands, he may receive the Holy Ghost.  But Peter said unto him, Thy money perish with thee, because thou hast thought that the gift of God may be purchased with money.  Thou hast neither part nor lot in this matter: for thy heart is not right in the sight of God.  Repent therefore of this thy wickedness, and pray God, if perhaps the thought of thine heart may be forgiven thee.  For I perceive that thou art in the gall of bitterness, and in the bond of iniquity.  Then answered Simon, and said, Pray ye to the LORD for me, that none of these things which ye have spoken come upon me.  Acts 8:18-24

Simon didn’t know that he couldn’t buy salvation.  He didn’t want to pray, he didn’t want to go to God himself, and he wanted the apostles to pray for him.  He was both lazy and ignorant.  Am I any different?

IV. Not relating to God leads to Idolatry

The Children of Israel didn’t want to talk to God, they told Aaron “Up, make us gods,” and he did.  Aaron knew better, he’d seen God work and he’d heard God speak, but he caved when the people asked him for a new god.  This wasn’t a surprise.  When God told Moses to lead His people out of Egypt, Moses didn’t want to do it.

And Moses said unto the LORD, O my LORD, I am not eloquent, neither heretofore, nor since thou hast spoken unto thy servant: but I am slow of speech, and of a slow tongue.  And the LORD said unto him, Who hath made man's mouth? or who maketh the dumb, or deaf, or the seeing, or the blind? have not I the LORD?  Now therefore go, and I will be with thy mouth, and teach thee what thou shalt say.  Exodus 4:10-12

God told Moses, “I made your mouth, I know what you can do, just do it,” but Moses didn’t shut up:

And he said, O my LORD, send, I pray thee, by the hand of him whom thou wilt send.  [In other words, God, anybody but me.]  And the anger of the LORD was kindled against Moses, and he said, Is not Aaron the Levite thy brother?  I know that he can speak well.  And also, behold, he cometh forth to meet thee: and when he seeth thee, he will be glad in his heart.  And thou shalt speak unto him, and put words in his mouth: and I will be with thy mouth, and with his mouth, and will teach you what ye shall do.  And he shall be thy spokesman unto the people: and he shall be, even he shall be to thee instead of a mouth, and thou shalt be to him instead of God.  Exodus 4:13-16

God gave Moses a helper, but what a price Moses paid!  He, Moses, was instead of God to Aaron.  What an awful burden!  Moses took God’s place in Aaron’s mind so Moses had to be perfect.  Let Moses seem to make the least mistake and Aaron’s faith would break.  Moses had been to Aaron instead of God, so Aaron made a calf when the people wanted a new god.  If Aaron had had his own relationship to God, if Aaron had been God’s friend as Moses was God’s friend, he’d have laughed when they asked for a new god.  Instead, he was “carried about by every wind of doctrine (Eph. 4:14)” and made the golden calf.

The people said, “the man that brought us up out of the land of Egypt,” they didn’t want to relate to a perfect, holy God, so they asked Aaron to make an imperfect, man-made idol to take the place of Moses who’d taken the place of God.  When their sin was found out, they wouldn’t confess their idolatry.  They didn’t belong to God and couldn’t see.  Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.  John 3:3

Adam, the very first man, hid from God after he sinned.  Adam’s sin was to try to become as God by eating the fruit.  Adam’s sin was idolatry, Adam had worshipped himself by valuing what he wanted to do over God’s command.  Adam gave up his friendship with God instead of asking for forgiveness.  Adam knew better, Adam knew God; they’d named the animals together:

And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.  Genesis 2:19

Adam and God hung out long enough to name a lot of animals and God gave Adam a wonderful gift called a “woman.”  Adam appreciated God giving him Eve, you’d think he’d know God loved him, but after he sinned, Adam didn’t say, “I’m sorry,” he blamed Eve.  Adam was too proud to ask God for forgiveness for his idolatry and gave up God’s friendship.

V. God gave the way for people to choose to be His friends

Some Christians act like they believe they aren’t good enough to come to God but the Bible says it’s OK:

But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name:  John 1:12

God gives all of His people, that is, anyone who receives Him into their hearts, the power to be His sons; that’s harder than being His friend, but how many of God’s people want to be His friends?  God always has at least some friends; Abraham and Moses were God’s friends and I try to be His friend.

Mark 15:38 says that the temple veil was rent when Christ died; Christians should approach God directly, we need no permission, God receives us whenever we wish.  This was revolutionary, nobody imagined ordinary people approaching God without permission from the ruling elites.

The Bible makes it clear that all are welcome; all people are urged to choose to approach Him:

Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.  Hebrews 4:16

For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our LORD.  Romans 8:38-39

Only I can separate myself from God, nothing else can get between God and me.  God wants fellowship with me, He wants all of us to be His friends, He wants to sup with all of us, but He says “if,” He lets me say “no.”  If I choose not to be friends with Him, I can separate myself from Him:

Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.  Revelation 3:20

Draw nigh to God, and He will draw high to you.  James 4:8

We make the first move; we draw nigh to God first.  Christ wants to sup with us, and Christ speaks for us when we come to God:

For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus;  I Timothy 2:5

God urges us to approach.  He gave Jesus as mediator to bring us to Him and He says we’re His friends:

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.  Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you.  Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you.  John 15:13-15

V a Soul Liberty leads to friendship

Being God’s friend is part of what’s called “Individual Soul Liberty,” but you’d be amazed how some Christians resist the idea of individuals having any liberty at all.  God also invites women to approach:

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.  Galatians 3:28

Women approach Christ in exactly the same way as men.  God’s most astonishing act in the New Testament may have been wiping out differences between men and women.  “There is neither male nor female” went against custom, then and now.

Leaders shouldn’t usurp the place of the Holy Spirit; they should lead through persuasion, good examples, and the Word:

Let every man [and woman] be fully persuaded in his own mind.  Romans 14:5

V b Friendship with God may frustrate others

Letting people be persuaded is part of “Individual Soul Liberty,” but we’re often tempted to usurp the place of the Holy Spirit and “bite and devour” anyone who doesn’t follow what we believe the Spirit of God is showing us.  Love and liberty are of God; biting and devouring are of the flesh and of Satan:

For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.  But if ye bite and devour one another, take heed that ye be not consumed one of another.  Galatians 5:14-15

Biting and devouring are not of God; we’re to employ longsuffering and persuasion instead.  I Peter 5:5 says that we’re to submit ourselves one to another, but submission should not take away liberty in Christ.  God warns that “false brethren” will try to take away our liberty and bring us into bondage:

And that because of false brethren unawares brought in, who came in privily to spy out our liberty which we have in Christ Jesus, that they might bring us into bondage: to whom we gave place by subjection, no, not for an hour; that the tRuth of the gospel might continue with you.  Galatians 2:4-5

Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.  Galatians 5:1

VI. Why Be God’s Friend?

God tries over and over to get people to approach Him to be His friends.  He sets us free to speak to Him directly if we wish.  Do people want to talk to God?  Do people want God’s friendship?

Dr. Thompson, who created his chain-link reference Bible, wrote, “Many Christians are satisfied to receive all their tRuth filtered through the mind of some teacher, minister, or commentator, seldom or never going to the Book of Books for independent study.  They inevitably become mere echoes of the opinions of others.  They are not ‘grounded in the truth’ hence, they are liable to be ‘carried about with every wind of doctrine.’  It is a great day for a little child when he learns to feed himself; so it becomes a new era in a believer’s life when he forms the habit of going daily to the original sources of spiritual tRuth for his own personal nourishment.”  The Bible has been available for 400 years, and many Christians would still rather get tRuth from others.

The Thompsons tried hard to make it easier for Christians to know God.  Did they succeed?  Many Christians expect the pastor to speak to God and tell them what God said; they’d rather get tRuth through someone else.

There’s a problem with living on second-hand truth.  I can tell you about God, you can know about God by listening to the pastor, but you can’t know God unless you read His words yourself.  Suppose you’re dating.  Your friend’s parents or friends can tell you about him or her, but you can’t know the person unless you talk directly.  God wants us to know Him, He wants us to read His Word and talk to Him in prayer.  Pastors can help you learn about God, but God wants us all to want to know Him for ourselves.

VI A Friendship Helps us Worship God instead of Men

Some people end up worshiping the pastor instead of worshiping God, which is idolatry.  Why do pastors rule as popes?  The people won’t relate to God, they don’t want to study the Bible, they’d rather worship a man, they’d rather have the pastor or some other leader be to them instead of God as Moses was instead of God to Aaron (Exodus 4:16).  Jesus said this would happen:

I am come in my Father's name, and ye receive me not: if another shall come in his own name, him ye will receive.  John 5:43

No leader can be worshiped without knowing it.  A true servant of the Lord will forbid it (Acts 14:13-15, Rev. 19:10, 22:9) whereas a fraud will find it feeds his flesh.  When church members worship the leader instead of worshipping God, the leader can’t lead in God’s name, he leads in his own name, and the members receive the leader instead of receiving Christ, just as He said.

Letting someone else talk to God for you limits your Christian growth assuming you’re saved at all.  Salvation, which keeps you out of Hell, is between you and God.  We can’t stay out of Hell on anybody else’s salvation, least of all the “salvation” of someone who’s made himself into an idol.  We can’t go to Heaven on anyone else’s salvation, God says we need our own:

Work out your own salvation in fear and trembling.  Philippians 2:12

Working out my own salvation means learning about God and deepening my own relationship with Him.  People seem to be afraid to open their hearts to God, maybe they’re afraid that God will know their faults.  This can be frightening, which may be why people don’t want to approach God.  If we relate to Christ, if we’re friends with Christ, we belong to Him forever:

My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: and I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.  John 10:27-28

Some people are afraid to relate to God.  The same fear keeps people from developing marriage relationships.  A man may be afraid to open his heart to his wife because she might not respect him if she knows him.  That’s silly, God made most women so that they understand a man pretty well, there’s little a wife doesn’t know about her husband.  Women have the same fears.  God made women so that they become emotionally dependent on their husbands, but belonging to a man frightens most women.

VI b Being God’s Friend helps us be friends with others

My wife was frightened on our wedding night, she hadn’t expected to feel so dependent on me, but she knew that she belonged to God.  She realized that God had given her to me by putting those feelings in her.  She accepted belonging to me as she belonged to God.  We’d been married a few weeks when I heard her telling a friend about me; I was afraid that she knew me so well that she’d hurt me.  I realized that God already knew all about me and that God had given me a wife who loved me even though she understood me.  I realized that it was comforting for my wife to know me as it was comforting for God to know me.

Our relationships with God made our marriage relationship possible.  God knew me first, so I realized that God wants her to know me.  She was God’s first, so she could accept God’s giving her to me.  There’s fear in a man letting his wife know him.  There’s fear in a woman belonging to her husband and letting him take her.  Fear keeps us from loving God; fear keeps us from loving each other.

The sad part about people closing themselves in marriage is that it won’t work.  God gave women the gift of intuition, the only way a man can keep his wife from knowing his heart is to leave.  If he lives with her, she’ll know him better than he thinks.  Why, then, must he talk to her?  My wife would know I was bothered by something, but she couldn’t bear my burdens without knowing the details or my feelings behind it.  Similarly, we may know that a church member is bothered, but we can’t bear their burdens without talking openly with them enough to know what their burdens are.

God knows all about us, but if we open ourselves to Him in prayer, He likes knowing that we want Him to know.  The Bible says that Christians belong to God, but God likes hearing that His people like belonging to him.  As married people want their spouses to want to know them, God wants us to want Him to know us.  God wants us to want to be His friends.  It grieved God when Adam didn’t want to talk about Adam’s sin.  Adam didn’t want to cast his care onto God, he wanted to be aloof and to be apart from God.  We either knit ourselves together in love or we’ll end up biting and devouring because we won’t understand each other.

VI c Friendship with God helps us love each other

God loved us so much that He sent Jesus to die for us and to cleanse us; believing on Him gives us power to become sons of God!  Jesus commands us to love one another.  Even if we love God, we sinful people find it hard to love others as God loves them which is one reason why it’s commanded so often:

And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.  And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.  Mark 12:30-31

A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.  By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.  John 13:34-35

This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.  John 15:12

These things I command you, that ye love one another.  John 15:17

For this is the message that ye heard from the beginning, that we should love one another.  I John 3:11

And this is his commandment, That we should believe on the name of his Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, as he gave us commandment.  I John 3:23

And this commandment have we from him, That he who loveth God love his brother also.  I John 4:21

Loving God is a good start, but being God’s friend makes it a lot easier to love others.

Conclusion: Loving God is the path to friendship

Jesus said, “for my yoke is easy and my burden light.”  The Pharisees had 613 rules; Jesus gave one:

This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.  John 15:12

Only one command.  Everything else, fruit of the spirit, marriage, the work of the ministry, all come from loving Him.  “For the love of Christ constraineth us, II Cor. 5:14,” that is, makes us do what He wants us to do.  Loving Christ leads us to love one another and to obey Him in other ways.

Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbor, and hate thine enemy.  But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;  Matthew 5:43-44

Loving one another, and loving our enemies too.  We simply can’t do that without the help of the Holy Spirit, and we can’t love God without loving all of these people.  But if we are His, and God promises us the power to be His sons and to love one another if we ask for it, we can choose to be friends of God!  That’s what God wants; He wants us to want to be His friends.  Is that what we want?