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Erika Kirk’s tribute to her husband Charlie demonstrated the love and joy God intended for every couple.
Background
Before He spoke the world into existence (Jn. 1:3[1]), Jesus knew that Adam would sin (Rev. 13:8[2]; 1 Pe. 1:20[3]). Jesus knew that He would have to die a very painful death to so that His blood could offer us a way to have all our sins forgiven so that we could go to Heaven. He knew this, yet He loved all of us enough to create us anyway (Rom. 5:8[4]).
There’s no way that God who loved us that much would ever create men and women in a way that marriage wouldn’t work. God planned marriage to give us a taste of the joys of Heaven on earth, but there‘s a condition: we must do marriage God’s way (De. 5:29[5]).
The Rewards God Offers
There is no joy for a man this side of heaven that compares with having his wife like belonging to him, but he must convince her that he delights in appreciating her and in belonging to her for that to work. In lamenting her husband, Mrs. Kirk opened her heart to everyone in telling how her husband led her by belonging to her and by serving her during their marriage.
Ignore her politics. Treat her lament as a God-given opportunity to understand what God had in mind when He created marriage.
https://www.livenowfox.com/news/charlie-kirk-funeral-wife-erika-speech-remarks-watch-video
She spoke of “my Charlie” because she knew in her bones that Charlie belonged to her. That’s Biblical, the wife in the Song of Solomon knows that her husband belongs to her (Song 2:16[6], 6:3[7]) as she belongs to him.
She told how Charlie became hers by opening his heart to her, telling her his plans, his joys, his sorrows, and how much he appreciated her. She spoke of her work in making their home a place where he longed to be (Song 2:8[8]). She explained what kept their marriage strong and beautiful:
“Charlie perfectly understood God's role for a Christian husband, a man who leads so that he can serve.”
She challenged men to serve their wives as Charlie had served her by making it possible for her to weave herself into the work God had called him to do:
“I was Charlie's confidant. I was his vault. His closest and most trusted advisor. His best friend. I poured into him and loved him so deeply. Empowered him because his love for me drove me to be a better wife. Every day he honored me. And I prayed that I could be the wife that God needed me to be for my husband.”
Erika and Charlie became one as Jesus expects of every couple:
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. (Mt. 19:6 see also Mk. 10:8)
Biblical Reflections
Love gives someone the power to destroy you. God knows it’s scary for a man to open his heart so God tells husbands when it’s safe to do so:
The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:11-12
Men, opening your hearts in hours of talk makes it possible for your wives to find joy in belonging to you and for them to swing behind whatever you're trying to do. Mrs. Kirk is pushing her husband's agenda with every atom of her being but she couldn't have helped him or followed him as God intended without knowing where he was going.
God created wives to help their husbands (Gen. 2:18[9]). Keeping Erika informed took a lot of Charlie's time - he had to explain all the details to her so she could help. God made women creatures of detail to keep babies alive, and working out the details with his wife made Charlie a better leader. She increased his effectiveness and more than made up for the time he spent sharing his dream with the helpmeet God gave him.
Charlie told men to get a job, get married, and raise children to serve God (Mal. 2:15[10]). Men don’t know how to do that, but when Erika opened her heart to the world, she told every man how to make his wife eager to help him. She showed how Charlie lived the old saying, “Behind every successful man, there’s a woman.”
There is no joy this side of heaven for a man that compares with having his wife like belonging to him, but he must convince her that he delights in everything about her to make her like being his.
Our Invitation
My wife and I have been writing about marriage for more than 50 years. We explain God’s plan in a book you can read online[11]. Email suggestions to wataylor@alum.mit.edu. When we upload to Amazon, the next order gets your improvements, see https://a.co/d/7SEZTgP . 99 cents on Kindle!
Strong families are the foundation of society. This website
describes three secular books that explain how modern science supports God’s
marriage commands. Scroll down to “Secular Support for God's Marriage
Principles”
https://perennitypublishing.com/books/
[1] All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made. John 1:3
[2] And all that dwell upon the earth shall worship him, whose names are not written in the book of life of the Lamb slain from the foundation of the world. Revelation 13:8
[3] Who verily was foreordained before the foundation of the world, but was manifest in these last times for you, I Peter 1:20
[4] But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8
[5] O that there were such an heart in them, that they would fear me, and keep all my commandments always, that it might be well with them, and with their children for ever! Deuteronomy 5:29
[6] My beloved is mine, and I am his: he feedeth among the lilies. Song of Solomon 2:16
[7] I am my beloved's, and my beloved is mine: he feedeth among the lilies. Song of Solomon 6:3
[8] The voice of my beloved! behold, he cometh leaping upon the mountains, skipping upon the hills. Song of Solomon 2:8
[9] And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. Genesis 2:18
[10] And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. Malachi 2:15
[11] https://successful-marriage.blogspot.com/2025/01/how-woman-can-find-joy-in-marriage.html
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