A Man’s Unbelief That Harms Marriages
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God ordained both salvation and marriage. If you try to get to Heaven your own way, you go to Hell when you die. If you try to manage marriage your own way, you can make life Hell on earth.
To be saved as God requires, we must die to our former lives and be reborn into a new life of belonging to God, a relationship which the Bible describes as “marriage (Rom. 7:4[1]).” We then serve God out of love for Christ (2 Cor. 5:14[2]) and to please Him.
Salvation makes us servants of Jesus Christ (Rom. 1:1[3], Tit. 1:1[4]). We belong to God (Jn. 10:29[5], 1 Cor. 6:19[6]), serve Him out of love (2 Cor. 5:14), and strive to walk in good works as Jesus taught (Eph. 2:10[7]).
To be married as God requires, the bride and groom must become one (Mt. 19:6[8], Mk. 10:8[9]). They must die to their former individual lives, belong to each other, and serve God by serving each other gladly out of love for God and for each other (Jn. 13:34[10], 15:12, 17[11], Rom. 13:8[12], 1 Thess. 4:9[13], 1 Jn. 3:11[14], 3:23[15], 4:7[16], 4:11-12[17], 2 Jn. 1:5[18]). It really is that simple – you either marry to give or you marry to get.
God expects us to serve Him by serving our spouses, families, and churches (Rom. 12:10[19], Eph. 5:21[20], 1 Pet. 5:5[21]). We focus on God through Christ. What God does is perfect; serving Him by serving our spouses is our perfect calling (Mk. 9:35[22], 10:44[23]). We must keep our eyes on our perfect God, not on our fallible spouses (Phil. 2:1-8).
God is no respecter of persons (Acts 10:34[24]), He loves men and women equally (Gal. 3:28[25]). He created us carefully so that God’s Plan of Salvation can give both wife and husband the Fruits of the Spirit in this life and prepare us to spend eternity with Him in the next life. Following God’s Simple Plan of Marriage gives families a taste of the joys of Heaven, right here on earth.
Jesus Knew what Creation would Cost Him
God made us so we operate on will, mind, and reason mixed with emotions, instinct, and reflex. He made women and men with different mixtures of these characteristics so that couples can combine their strengths. This helps them work together to build families which glorify God and fulfill His command to be fruitful and multiply (Gen. 1:28[26]). God gets more servants when His servants raise their children to serve Him.
Jesus is the Lamb who was slain before the foundation of the world (Rev. 13:8[27]). Before Jesus spoke the world into existence (Col. 1:17[28]), He knew that Adam’s sin would bring sin upon all men (Rom. 5:12-19). He knew that He would have to die so that His obedience would offer us a way to become righteous before a Holy God (Rom. 5:12-19), but He created us anyway.
Knowing that His sacrificial love for wretched sinners would be hard to understand (Ps. 8:4[29], Heb. 2:6[30]), God gave us a picture. Without modern sanitation and hospitals, 1 woman in 8 died in childbirth (Ge. 35:18[31], 1 Sam. 4:20[32]). Women walked the valley of the shadow of death for each child, yet they longed to give birth anyway (Gen.30:1[33], Lk. 1:25[34]). This illustrates God’s unconditional love for all of us (Jn. 3:16-17[35]).
Marrying According to Knowledge
Many highway bridges follow a pattern. There’s a steel beam across the road. The beam rests on concrete pillars. The deck is a cement slab reinforced by steel rods running through it.
Steel and cement are not equal. You can pull on a steel beam and it won’t break, but if you push, it bends and buckles. Concrete comes apart if you pull on it, but holds a lot when you push.
Bridges fall when you build on wrong ideas about steel and concrete. Like steel and concrete, women and men have different strengths and weaknesses. As steel and concrete become one in a reinforced slab which has the best characteristics of both, the emotional forces and instincts which God created to hold couples together are intended to bring about a one-flesh unit that stands strong against the pressures of life.
When men and women use these forces improperly, their union is weakened. A marriage based on wrong ideas about men and women generally falls.
How Men Relate to Women
Forming Eve was God’s last creative act and made it all “very good (Gen. 1:31[36]).” She was made for Adam to be his help meet and companion. Adam claimed Eve the moment he saw her. Why? How did he know?
And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Genesis 2:23
Adam took on responsibility to cleave to Eve when he claimed her. The next verse established families:
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Genesis 2:24
Titus 2:3-5[37] commands older women to teach younger women to love their husbands and children because they don’t know how. Women need to be warned that God made a man’s physical desires strong enough to make him willing to dedicate his life to caring for a wife:
And Jacob said unto Laban, Give me my wife, for my days are fulfilled, that I may go in unto her. Genesis 29:21
My wife tells young ladies that her husband dreams of 5 times before breakfast, lunch, dinner, and bed. God won’t often give him that much strength, but that’s his plan. That horrifies them, but when she points out that women expect their husbands to open their hearts in earnest conversation at least that often, they’re OK with it. To a woman, “conversation” means that he supplies at least 1/3 of the words, remembers what she tells him about herself, and takes knowledge of her into consideration when making decisions (I Pe. 3:5-7[38]).
Women should not fulfill these desires outside marriage, but after the fall, sinful men perverted God’s gift of attraction between men and women enough that they were willing to murder a man to possess his wife. Sarah was so beautiful that Abraham had her tell everyone that she was his sister because he feared that men would murder him when he traveled to Egypt during a famine (Gen. 12:10-20). Sure enough:
The princes also of Pharaoh saw her, and commended her before Pharaoh: and the woman was taken into Pharaoh's house. Genesis 12:15
It never occurred to Pharaoh to ask if Sarah wanted to come into his house any more than Adam asked Eve whether she wanted to be called “woman (Gen. 2:23)” or anyone asked Esther whether she wanted to belong to King Ahasuerus (Est. 2:8[39]).
A generation later, Isaac traveled to Gerar to flee a famine and feared that he would be killed for Rebekah’s sake. The local ruler wasn’t happy about being deceived:
And Abimelech said, What is this thou hast done unto us? one of the people might lightly have lien with thy wife, and thou shouldest have brought guiltiness upon us. Genesis 26:10
Raping an unmarried woman was but a light moment of pleasure because she had no right to her own body. Rebekah was married, so her rapist would have been guilty of a property crime against her husband. The “natural man” takes rape lightly and sees nothing wrong with raping a woman if opportunity comes.
Women Need Protection from Men
The possibility that a rape victim’s family would avenge her (Gen. 34:25-31) was a woman’s only protection. Dinah’s brothers murdered Schem and all the men in his entire family in revenge for raping their sister (Gen 34:25[40]). What happened to the women whom they’d saved alive?
Absalom murdered Amnon in revenge for raping his sister Tamar (2 Sam. 13:32[41]). Moses’ command that the rapist marry the girl instead of being killed was a step toward reducing violence (Deu. 22:28-29[42]).
The Bible isn’t alone in describing a man’s natural attitude of taking rape lightly. “The Sexual Assault Case That Shook Ancient Rome“ explains:
A prominent politician was accused of raping a 12-year-old actress—in 54 B.C. The way his legendary lawyer dismissed it speaks volumes about how we prosecute these crimes now. …
It was more than 2,000 years before the #MeToo movement, but a scene similar to the ones we’ve witnessed so often lately was already playing out. A prominent politician was on trial for corruption and bribery, charges bolstered by dirt his enemies had dug up from his past: the violent sexual assault of a young girl.
Those charges of corruption and bribery were a serious matter, but to the men in the court, the rape charge was nothing. It was harmless boys-will-be-boys misbehavior — something half the men there were guilty of themselves. [emphasis added]
Men haven’t changed much since then so women must be taught to be careful. Women complain about “rape culture” but put themselves in dangerous situations such as getting drunk at parties. If a woman leaves her purse in a convertible with the top down, should she be surprised if someone steals it? People shouldn’t steal and men shouldn’t rape, but shouldn’t girls exercise “due care?”
This light attitude toward sex as recreation harms women. It’s hard for a woman to follow a man she doesn’t trust. Women want to be valued for far more than sex and can become depressed when they find that boyfriends treated them as interchangeable sex toys. Being discarded can make it hard for a woman to trust her eventual husband enough to give herself to him as freely and as joyfully as he expects. [43]
Women Need Protection from Themselves
Younger women must take this Biblical warning seriously:
Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. I Corinthians 7:1-2
The Greek word translated “kindle” includes the idea of setting on fire. Depending on the time of the month, a woman may yearn to “go all the way.” There are times a man can't arouse her no matter what he does, but her vulnerability to touching peaks just before ovulation.
Older women may tell girls not to kiss “because it’ll give him ideas.” That’s wrong. Men don’t get ideas, men have ideas. Kissing can give her ideas during her fertile time. When both the man and the woman have the same idea, it’s very hard to stop. A chaperone’s job is to stop the couple when they can’t stop themselves.
Having commanded us to be fruitful and multiply, God designed women to crave a man's touch when they’re most likely to become pregnant. At such times, the lightest brush of his finger on the back of her hand can make her burn with hunger to give herself totally to him, particularly if she’s thinking of marrying him.
Once her desire is kindled, he can do whatever he likes with her, and very few men have the strength of character to protect a woman from her desires. This often leads to pregnancy because her passions are most likely to be kindled when she’s fertile. He’ll claim, “She wanted it,” which is true, but as Adam failed to protect Eve from the serpent, he will have failed to protect her from his desires and from her desires.
Older women must explain caution and risk avoidance. If a woman states before the first date that she expects to be a virgin on her wedding night, many men will respect that and most who won’t just walk away. She should also declare that God made her to be a treasure for her husband and ask him to agree that the purpose of being together is to decide whether he and she will marry. Why should she have anything to do with a man who won’t consider marrying a woman who intends to be God’s treasure for her husband?
What God Intended
God wants His people to be holy (1 Pe. 1:15-16[44]). Fornication, which is sexual union outside marriage, destroys both sanctification and holiness:
What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh. I Corinthians 6:16
Husband and wife are joined into a one-flesh sanctified unit; when a man joins himself outside marriage, he pollutes the sanctification of women that God commands.
Christianity elevates women by commanding men not to have sex outside marriage:
For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: that every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honor; not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God: … For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness. I Thessalonians 4:3-5, 7
There’s debate whether “his vessel” means the man’s body or his wife’s body. The surrounding verses relate to sexual activity between a man and a woman. The Greek word σκεῦος which is translated “vessel” means “possession.” It’s used in “weaker vessel”:
For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement. Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. I Peter 3:5-7
“Vessel” refers to the wife; a “vessel” contains. The husband’s body gives and the wife’s body contains. Men are commanded to know how possess their wives in honor and sanctification. As women must be taught to love their husbands and children, men must be taught to sanctify and honor their wives.
After writing that Sarah called Abraham “lord,” the Bible says “likewise.” God expects husbands to dwell with wives according to knowledge as wives call husbands “lord.” What does it mean for a wife to call her husband “lord?” Does it mean that men are kings and wives are servants? In a word, “No.” Jesus said:
Ye call me Master and Lord: and ye say well; for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another's feet. For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you. John 13:13-15
A wife calling her husband “lord” means that he’s to lead her by serving her
If any man desire to be first, the same shall be last of all and servant of all Mark 9:35
Godly leaders serve their followers. Who leads the most, that is, who should serve the most, in marriage?
But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. I Corinthians 11:3
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Colossians 3:18
This places great responsibility on husbands. When a wife looks at her husband, she should see Christ as her husband sees the Father when looking at Christ (Jn. 14:9[45]).
A man must sanctify his wife. He must set her apart from all other women in holy matrimony by marrying her before taking her. If he doesn’t do that, if he takes her without any commitment as men are tempted to do, he’s acting in “the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God (I Thess. 4:5[46]).”
He honors his wife by teaching his children to “rise up and call her blessed” and by telling them that she “excelleth them all (Pro. 31:28-29[47]).” The Song teaches a husband how to convince his wife that he belongs to her and give her rest in belonging to him (Ruth 1:9a[48]). There is no joy for a man this side of heaven that compares with having a woman like belonging to him, but she can make him no happier than he makes her.
How Women Relate to Men
God drove Adam out of the garden after he’d sinned, cursed the ground for his sake, and declared:
In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return. Genesis 3:19
God didn’t provide for Eve to eat. Women aren’t strong enough to hunt or farm without machinery. Ever since, a woman had to persuade a man to feed her in order to survive. The Bible tells us:
There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. I Corinthians 7:34
Pleasing a husband was a matter of life and death – if he left, she and her children could starve. Women who starved had fewer children than women who didn't starve; natural selection favored women who pleased men enough for the man to feed them and favored men who were willing to feed women.
Most people know that natural selection has conditioned generations of women to try to please men: “Why progressive women want to date men who act like conservatives[49]“ asserts:
The female desire to feel protected and looked after is built into our DNA, says evolutionary psychologist Geoffrey Miller, a professor at the University of New Mexico and author of several books including “The Mating Mind.”
“It’s a mismatch between what progressive women say they want and what they actually respond to,” Miller told me. “Women’s instinctive mate preferences have evolved for hundreds of thousands of years for guys who are competent, strong, good providers, good protectors and happy with a sexual division of labor,” he added. Women want “decisive men who are also compassionate and thoughtful.”
A 2018 study from Iowa State University backs this up, reporting that progressive women prefer men who demonstrate more traditional dating behaviors. The women found these men to be “more attractive” because they signal a willingness “to invest by being protective, committed, and by providing resources.” [emphasis added]
What does a woman desire? She wants to hang around with a man and please him enough that he’s willing to care for her and provide for her. If possible, she wants her husband to like belonging to her and to appreciate her as taught in the Song of Solomon. God isn’t the only one who loveth a cheerful giver (2 Cor. 9:7[50]).
Women have to realize that the strength of her desire for a man is part of the punishment God put on Eve when she ate the forbidden fruit:
Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. Genesis 3:16
God strengthened a woman’s desire for a man. Since Eve hadn’t wanted to follow God’s perfect leadership, she now had to follow her husband’s imperfect leadership.
The Cost of a Man
Deu. 21:14, 22:9 and Eze. 22:10-11 say that a man “has humbled” a woman by taking her, that’s part of the cost of having a man in her life and opening herself to him as he expects. We may think this is something the man does to the woman, but a wife should choose to humble herself as Jesus humbled Himself:
And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross. Philippians 4:8
God wants children to have fathers. God made women so that a woman wants to cling to the man who takes her. Humbling herself by clinging to her husband and serving him gladly helps her children have a father, but her feeling of belonging to him can be frightening.
We’ve learned that a man’s seminal fluid contains chemicals that are absorbed into a woman’s bloodstream. These chemicals trigger her brain to produce hormones which relax her and make her emotions more sensitive to how her husband feels about her.
If he’s as happy with her as the husband in the Song, she won’t mind being humbled and will enjoy watching his joy in pursuing her (Ps. 19:5[51], Song 7:10[52], 8:3[53]). If he’s unhappy or critical, being more sensitive to negative feelings will make her want to deflect his desires. Every woman has a thousand ways to do that. Being denied can frustrate a man to the point of anger and sometimes violence, pornography, or adultery. The angrier he gets, the less she wants to open herself to him and the more his frustration increases.
For a man, the secret to being happy in marriage is to be happy with his wife. Being appreciated, nourished, and valued makes her happy (1 Cor. 7:34[54]) enough to enjoy watching him enjoy pursuing her (Song 1:2[55]). The hormones involved in opening herself to him calm her and convince both of them that she belongs to him. Her happiness in belonging to him makes him visibly calm and happy.
A woman cares very much about pleasing her husband. Not feeling valued dries her bones:
A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones. Proverbs 17:22
If a woman finds that she an’t please her husband no matter what she does, we often see death in her eyes, even in pictures.
A Woman’s Value
Jesus pointed out that men marry and women are given in marriage (Lk. 17:27a[56], 20:34[57]). Adam did nothing to earn Eve, she was a good and perfect gift from God, just as salvation is an unearned gift from God:
Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD. Proverbs 18:22
If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him? Matthew 7:11
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning. James 1:17
Having created men, God knew what men would want, He knew the help men would need, He had an agenda of His own (Gen. 1:28[58], 17:6[59], 28:1-3[60]), and He took these factors into account when creating women:
And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. Genesis 2:18 see also Genesis 2:20[61]
The word translated “help” is the Hebrew word ezer in Ps. 121:1 “I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my ezer.” It suggests things a wife can do for her husband that he cannot do for himself.
Men are attracted to women on sight as Adam was attracted to Eve, but there is far more to a woman than looks. We’re told nothing of Ruth’s appearance. Boaz wanted to marry Ruth because of her search for God and her care for Naomi (Ru. 2:11[62]). He knew that a God-fearing, virtuous, hard-working (Ru. 2:6-7[63]) woman who wasn’t dating around (Ru. 3:10-11[64]) would make a good wife.
God also knew that men wouldn’t want to admit their feelings, not even to themselves. Jesus asked Peter three times, “Do you love me (Jn. 21:15-17[65])?” This didn’t make Peter love Jesus, he already did, but Peter had to admit his love to himself. Peter knew that if he acknowledged his love for Jesus, he would be hurt when people refused to accept Christ. Men may be reluctant to admit love for their wives for fear of being hurt.
God loves the world (Jn. 3:16-17[66]) but it doesn’t do sinners any good unless we love God and convince them. A man may love his wife, but unless he convinces her as in the Song, it doesn’t do her any good:
A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones. Proverbs 17:22
Defrauding Her
King Lemuel’s mother pointed out that every virtuous woman is valuable beyond description:
Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. 11The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. 12She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:10-12
Men recognize the value of virtuous women and strive to possess them. As God uses natural selection to favor women who were willing to please men, natural selection favors possessive men. Men who didn’t keep other men away from their women raised other men’s children and were bred out of the gene pool. That’s why as far back as the days of Isaac, rape was recognized as a property crime against the husband. Men value a woman’s purity and exclusivity for the sake of passing on their genes.
Possessiveness is so deep in men that they don’t think about it. If a woman says she wants to marry but lets him have her without marriage, he feels she’s a liar because marriage doesn’t mean much to her. If he can have her without marrying her, what would marriage give him that he doesn’t have? Naomi told Ruth:
Then said she, Sit still, my daughter, until thou know how the matter will fall: for the man will not be in rest, until he have finished the thing this day. Ruth 3:18
Boaz married Ruth quickly because he wanted her and marriage was the only way he could have her. The hormones of being taken affect a woman’s emotions so that she wants to cling to the man. If he hasn’t committed himself to her by marrying her, she knows he’s a thief who won’t protect her from his passions or from her passions. How can she trust him enough to obey him or follow him? If she lets him have her without marriage, how can he trust her not to give herself to someone else? The promises of Proverbs 31 are for a virtuous woman, after all.
Men are interested all the time and learn to control their passions; women seldom feel such desires and aren’t used to controlling them. God made men the leader over women so the responsibility for the sin of crippling the marriage belongs to the man as the responsibility for the fall belongs to Adam (Rom. 5:12, 19[67]). There is a cure for the sin:
Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. James 5:16
Confessing to God is hard enough. Very few men are willing to confess their sins of premarital fornication to their wives, in-laws, and others whom they may have damaged.
How many Christian parents fail to warn their children about sins they committed? This appears to be particularly common with sexual sins, where parental silence leaves their children unwarned and makes it likely that their iniquities will be visited upon their children (Ex. 20:5[68], 34:7[69], Num. 14:18[70], Deu. 5:9[71]).
The Consequences
God reserves sex for marriage, but a man tends to take having sex lightly regardless of the woman’s wishes unless he's been taught to honor both marriage and women, starting with his mother. In Pro. 31:28-29[72], king Lemuel's mother taught her son to teach her grandchildren to respect and honor their mother.
It’s hard for a woman to obey or respect her husband if she doesn’t trust him.
It is hard for a man to honor his wife enough to teach his children honor if he’s taken her before marriage, even if he’s the only man who’s ever taken her. He’ll find it hard to teach his children to honor her unless he does it continually in a way they can see.
If a father teaches his children to value, praise, appreciate, honor, and respect their mother by commanding it and by his example, they can learn from her. His sons can learn to nourish, cherish, respect, and honor their future wives and his daughters can learn to insist on respect from suitors and husbands.
If a father doesn't teach respect for his wife, his sons grow up with no respect for women and see no reason not to let their sexual urges run free. His daughters will want to hang around with men because God made women for men, but without seeing their father respect their mother, they won't know to demand respect and honor from men. This teaches them to act like toys. Horny men and boys are happy to play with toys and throw them away in favor of younger, flashier models.
The mating instinct is strong in both men and women; it's hard to teach young people to keep these desires under control. Parents have trouble teaching this effectively if spiritual leaders' and teachers' examples and teaching don't reinforce the message with behavior and with their own children.
Ezra 10 tells how Jewish leaders ignored God’s commands about marriage which made it hard for ordinary people to take marriage seriously. Malachi tried to help Ezra clean up the situation, see Malachi 2:13-16[73].
As Solomon said, there is no new thing under the sun (Ecc. 1:9[74]), we keep recycling the same old sins, over and over. How many men who were raised in Christian homes have “lightly lien” with women outside marriage? How many women raised in Christian homes let men take them without marriage because they haven’t been taught how highly God values purity and how strongly God wants husbands to honor and sanctify their wives? They haven’t been taught to state on the first date that they plan to be virgins on their wedding night and that they expect the man to help God protect them.
The Doctrinal Error from Genesis 3:16
Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. Genesis 3:16
Some scholars and pastors interpret Gen. 3:16 to say that a wife desires to defy her husband and escape his authority over her instead of interpreting “desire” as the mating desire described in the Song of Solomon:
I am my beloved's, and his desire is toward me. Song of Solomon 7:10
Matthew Henry wrote in “Commentary on Genesis 3,” “Observe here how mercy is mixed with wrath in this sentence. The woman shall have sorrow, but it shall be in bringing forth children, and the sorrow shall be forgotten for joy that a child is born, Jn. 16:21[75]. She shall be subject, but it shall be to her own husband that loves her, not to a stranger, or an enemy: the sentence was not a curse, to bring her to ruin, but a chastisement, to bring her to repentance. It was well that enmity was not put between the man and the woman, as there was between the serpent and the woman.” [Italics in the original, underlining added.]
Some commentators change the word “and” to “but” so that it reads “but he shall rule over thee” to indicate that a man will defeat her rebellion and rule his wife in spite of her attempts to overthrow him.
This argument that husbands and wives are enemies draws on the use of the same Hebrew word תְּשׁוּקָה used for Eve’s desire in Genesis 4:7 where God reminded Cain of Satan’s desire to conquer Cain:
And the LORD said unto Cain, Why art thou wroth? and why is thy countenance fallen? 7If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted? and if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door. And unto thee shall be his desire, and thou shalt rule over him. Genesis 4:6-7
This interprets the “his” of “his desire” as referring to sin or to Satan. Commentators of this view draw parallels between sin’s desire to rule and frustrate Cain and a woman’s desire to rule and frustrate her husband.
There’s another way to read the passage. God rebuked Cain, asking why Cain sinned by being angry (Mt. 5:22[76]) at God’s chastening (Heb. 12:8[77]), but promised that Cain would be accepted if he did well. The phrase “sin lieth at the door” refers to Cain choosing whether to honor God or not.
Consider verse 7b, “And unto thee shall be his desire, and thou shalt rule over him.” Abel was younger than Cain. Younger brothers generally look up to the oldest sibling and tend to want to be like him and follow him. In those days, the oldest son almost always received the family birthright which is why Rebecca used subterfuge to get Isaac to bless her younger son Jacob instead of her oldest son Esau.
As Matthew Henry wrote in “Commentary of Genesis 4,” “Unto thee shall be his desire, he shall continue his respect to thee as an elder brother, and thou, as the first-born, shalt rule over him as much as ever.” Robert Jamieson “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown :: Commentary on Genesis 4” explained why Cain murdered Abel: “The high distinction conferred by priority of birth is described (Gen. 27:29[78]); and it was Cain's conviction, that this honor had been withdrawn from him, by the rejection of his sacrifice, and conferred on his younger brother-hence the secret flame of jealousy, which kindled into a settled hatred and fell revenge.”
John Wesley, who was criticized for stating that salvation was purely by faith, wrote, “If now thou do well: if thou repent of thy sin, reform thy heart and life, and bring thy sacrifice in a better manner; thou shalt yet be accepted. See how early the gospel was preached, and the benefit of it here offered even to one of the chief of sinners. He sets before him death and a curse; but, if not well - Seeing thou didst not do well, not offer in faith, and in a right manner, sin lieth at the door - That is, sin only hinders thy acceptance. All this considered, Cain had no reason to be angry with his brother, but at himself only. Unto thee shall be his desire - He shall continue in respect to thee as an elder brother, and thou, as the first-born, shall rule over him as much as ever. God's acceptance of Abel's offering did not transfer the birth-right to him, (which Cain was jealous of) nor put upon him that dignity, and power, which is said to belong to it, chap. 49:3.”
Reuben, thou art my firstborn, my might, and the beginning of my strength, the excellency of dignity, and the excellency of power: Genesis 49:3
God made it clear that if Cain chose to obey God, righteous Abel (Mt. 23:35[79]) would desire to follow Cain as a woman desires to follow her husband, particularly if he serves God by serving her as Jesus commanded (Mk. 9:35[80], 10:44[81]). Cain would rule Abel as younger brothers generally desire to follow the oldest and women generally desire to belong to their husbands and follow them.
Older commentaries agree that Genesis 4:7 has nothing to do with wives. Claiming that women were created to be usurpers is a much more sophisticated form of disobedience and unbelief than Adam crudely blaming Eve for his sin. Isn’t it amazing how much men would rather blame their wives than accept responsibility? It justifies so much sin, anger, wrath, malice, and failing to nourish and cherish their wives. Consider the Goodness of God:
Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: Isaiah 1:18
Be logical. Rev. 13:8 speaks of “the Lamb slain from the foundation of the world.” Jesus valued us and loved us enough to create us even though He knew He would have to die to save us from our sins. Don’t you feel affection when you create something? Mothers, you know how you feel about your children. Would a truly Christian mother harm her children on purpose?
Would a God who loved us create us with fatal flaws which make joyous marriages impossible? Did a God who loved us enough to die to save us from our sins deliberately design us so that men and women would be enemies who couldn’t find joy in long-term commitments to create safe spaces where their children can grow in the “nurture and admonition of the Lord (Eph. 6:4[82])?” Or did God design the powerful drives He put into men and women to draw us into marriages which bless us if we follow His plan?
The Reality
Thinking of wives as usurpers ignores Song of Solomon 7:10, “I am my beloved's, and his desire is toward me.” Does “desire” mean that a man seeks to overthrow his wife? Or is Strong’s dictionary correct in saying that תְּשׁוּקָה means “desire, longing, craving, of a man for a woman, of a woman for a man, or a beast to devour?”
Women certainly desire attention from men. Paul told unmarried men not to seek wives (1 Cor. 7:27[83]) but didn’t tell women not to seek husbands. When Eve had to leave the Garden, she depended on Adam to feed her. Belonging to a man was essential for survival which increased a woman’s desire to marry.
Believing that a wife seeks to overthrow her husband requires canceling or ignoring these verses:
It is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him an help meet[84] for him. Genesis 2:18
For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man. I Corinthians 11:8-9
Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing,[85] and obtaineth favour of the LORD. Proverbs 18:22
If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him? Matthew 7:11
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning. James 1:17
the woman is the glory of the man. I Corinthians 11:7b
A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: Proverbs 12:4a
The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:11-12
Let thy fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe: let her breasts satisfy thee at all times, and be thou ravished always with her love. Proverbs 5:18
There be three things which are too wonderful for me, yea, four which I know not: The way of an eagle in the air; the way of a serpent upon a rock; the way of a ship in the midst of the sea; and the way of a man with a maid. Proverbs 30:18-19
Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun. Ecclesiastes 9:9
Lord, I believe, help thou mine unbelief (Mark 9:24b)
A man can’t believe that God created women to desire to defy and betray their husbands unless he believes that God is not good. Anyone who believes that God is good reads the Word of God seeking keys to happiness. Treating a wife as an undeserved blessing from God makes her happy, and her happiness makes the entire family happy. Someone who believes that God is not good reads the Bible for loopholes like the illogical interpretation of “desire” in Gen. 3:16.
Why would a God who loved us enough to die for us while we were yet sinners (Rom. 5:8) create women so that we couldn’t base marriages on mutual trust and cooperation? Does a man who’s convinced that women plot and scheme to betray their husbands truly believe in a loving God? Disregarding verses about the value of women and believing that God would make joyous marriage impossible suggests an unbelieving carnal mind:
Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be. Romans 8:7
Moses warned that the Jews would be carried into captivity unless they loved God with grateful hearts with thanks for everything He gave them:
Because thou servedst not the LORD thy God with joyfulness, and with gladness of heart, for the abundance of all things; 48Therefore shalt thou serve thine enemies which the LORD shall send against thee, in hunger, and in thirst, and in nakedness, and in want of all things: and he shall put a yoke of iron upon thy neck, until he have destroyed thee. Deuteronomy 28:47-48
God’s People didn’t appreciate the blessings He had given them, so He took everything away. They were in want of “all things.” A man who isn’t grateful to God for the gift of a wife makes her unhappy. Her unhappiness will cost him the joy which God intended he should receive from the gift of a wife.
Ye shall know them by their fruits
Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. 16Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? Matthew 7:15-16
We’re commanded to judge righteous judgment instead of judging by appearance (Jn. 7:24[86]). We can judge the doctrine that a wife desires to usurp her husband’s authority and evade his rule over her from its fruits.
Children can tell if a father believes that their mother’s a traitor. It will be impossible for him to teach his children to value, trust, honor, and respect their mother when he doesn’t trust her.
As it’s difficult for a woman to make her husband any happier than he makes her, it is difficult for a woman to trust and honor her husband any more than he trusts and honors her. How can children learn to trust and honor God if they see that their parents don’t honor or trust each other?
Young people hear the story of Samson and Delilah. It’s not often pointed out that Samson lied to Delilah by telling her that he loved her. Accounts of the handsome sports hero pursuing the cheerleader are modern versions of this familiar story. Delilah believed Samson loved her and opened herself to him but he wouldn’t open his heart to her:
And she said unto him, How canst thou say, I love thee, when thine heart is not with me? Judges 16:15a
A woman has a hard time opening herself unless her husband opens his heart to her. It is as scary for a man to open his heart in honest conversation as for a woman to open her body which is why mutual trust is vital.
Taught as an example of a woman betraying a man without cause, the story of Delilah reinforces a father’s teaching that wives desire to overthrow and betray their husbands instead of doing them good and not evil. How will a young man interpret Pro. 6:28, “Can one go upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned?” and the warnings about dangerous women in Pro. 2 and 5 when his father doesn’t each him to trust his mother?
Having been taught to disregard Bible passages that teach the great blessing God intended when creating women as His gifts for men (1 Cor. 11:8-9[87]), why would a young man want to marry? Why let himself become emotionally involved with a “strange woman which flattereth with her words (Pro. 7:5) to seek his hurt?” He’ll want sex, of course, but why not just take what he can get? After all, “She wanted it.”
The Sins of the Fathers
As Solomon said, there is no new thing under the sun (Ecc. 1:9[88]). We follow the same old sins, over and over. How many men raised in “Christian” homes have “lightly lien” with women outside marriage because they’ve been taught that women seek to betray their husbands as Delilah betrayed Samson or that it’s OK because everyone does it?
Why would a woman who can get a job and support herself want to marry if she thinks that potential husbands have been taught that wives can’t be trusted? A woman’s emotions tend to place her under the authority of men. If a woman feels damaged, not valued, or disrespected by her human father or husband, how can she honor and submit to God as her Heavenly Father? If a father acts like women can’t be trusted, how can his daughter feel that Jesus valued her or loved her enough to die to take away the punishment for her sins?
If he refuses to hear her side of any situation, if his habit is not listening (James 1:19-20[89]), how can she believe that God hears her prayers? If she won’t open herself to God in prayer, won’t she hear, “I never knew you (Mt. 7:23[90])?” Is that her fault or the fault of the men who taught her that she would never be heard?
Men must take the responsibility God gave and appreciate their wives as God-given gifts, preserve their purity, and teach their children to follow these God-given principles. How many women who were raised in “Christian” homes let men take them without marriage because they haven’t been taught to fear God’s judgment or to value their purity? How can a woman love God without being shown that God loves her by being convinced that she is loved by the men in her life?
Can a leader who doesn’t listen to his wife, children, or followers expect Jesus to listen to him? If he doesn’t open his heart to Jesus, will he hear, “I never knew you (Mt. 7:23)?”
Women and children feel defrauded, dishonored, disrespected, and can be damaged by anger:
And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient, 25In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth; II Timothy 2:24-25
Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. I Peter 3:7
God expects us to rule our emotions and our anger (Pr. 25:28[91]). If a man feels himself to be about to express anger, he must follow Paul’s advice to flee lusts (2 Ti. 2:22[92]) and go away long enough to get himself under control. Apologizing afterward doesn’t undo the damage. A woman can grow enough scar tissue on her heart that it doesn’t affect her very much, but how, then, can she trust her heart to God through Jesus Christ?
Teaching Daughters
Women must be taught to fear man’s passion enough to beg God for protection and to demand that all men protect them from emotional ties. They must flee any man who won’t treat “The elder women as mothers; the younger as sisters, with all purity (1 Tim. 5:2).” Being honored begins with how fathers and brothers treat her. A boss or leader should treat all members of the group equally (Jas. 2:1, 9[93]); danger comes when a leader focuses attention on her individually.
Women must interact with men person to person, not as man to woman. Judges 16:18[94] teaches that a woman can see into a man’s heart if she looks. God gave women this “gift of fear” for their protection. If a man starts going beyond what’s proper for relating to his mother or sister, a woman must cut it off.
A woman must be taught how to ask deep questions about his motivations to verify that a man will trust her enough to open his heart to her. Boaz opened his heart to Ruth when she asked him why he was being so kind to her (Ru. 2:11-12[95]). This made Ruth willing to ask Boaz to marry her as Naomi advised (Ru. 3:1-5).
A father protects his daughter either through her cooperation or her incarceration. If he convinces her that she must be careful with boys, it’s easier to get her cooperation.
Teaching Sons
Opening his heart makes a man belong to a woman. Many men are afraid to do that in spite of God’s promise that he can trust his heart to a virtuous wife:
The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. 12She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:11-12
She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. Proverbs 31:26
Courtship is a time for her to demonstrate that she will respect him in spite of his mistakes and won’t shred him with her tongue (Pr. 12:18[96]) when he and she see things differently. A man won’t open his heart if he fears her tongue, but he can’t become “one flesh” with her as Jesus requires or be knit together in love (Col. 2:2[97]) without opening his heart. It’s hard for a woman to open herself to a man who won’t belong to her.
From the hour he meets her, a man must protect his wife from his passions, her passions, and external dangers. If he teaches his children to honor their mother, they can learn from her as Mrs. Lemuel taught her son to nourish and cherish his wife.
Teaching this level of honor and trust is nearly impossible unless the father genuinely respects and honors women in general and their mother in particular. It’s hard for a man to trust or respect his wife if they’ve committed fornication together or if he’s convinced she desires to betray him.
Absent heartfelt prayer and confession (1 Jn. 1:9[98]), family iniquities will be visited upon children (Ex. 20:5, 34:7, Num. 14:18, Deu. 5:9), page 10, unless children are blessed to find another Christian who can teach what parents failed to teach. Even if the man confesses, she won’t feel comfort or peace unless he opens his heart to her. If he opens his heart to her as sincerely, as deeply, as widely, as patiently, as attentively, as often, and as gladly as he expects her to open herself to him, they will come to belong to each other over time. Once they become one, each of them can give the other a taste of the joys of Heaven, right here on earth.
Women aren’t taught that opening his heart is as frightening to a man as opening herself is for a women.
It is hard to overcome sins of earlier generations particularly if those sins are common in the society or are seen in people in any leadership position – family, church, business, or government. God’s rules are simple – no sex ever between bride and groom before marriage no matter what sins have gone before, respect, value, honor each other, and thank God and your spouse for putting you into a family (Ps. 68:6[99]).
Love God by loving your spouse; serve God by serving your spouse is simple to say, but “simple” doesn’t mean “easy.” It’s simple to walk from Maine to California – put one foot in front of the other, repeat until you get there – but it’s far from easy. Marriage is a lifetime journey, not a short stroll across a continent.
Salvation means dying to your former life and being born again into marriage to Christ (Ro. 7:4[100]). You belong to Him. His love for you and your love for Him constrain you to serve Him cheerfully (2 Cor. 9:7[101]).
Marriage means dying to your former independent life in favor of your new family. Your love for each other and for God constrains you to serve Him by serving each other cheerfully.
[1] Wherefore, my brethren, ye also are become dead to the law by the body of Christ; that ye should be married to another, even to him who is raised from the dead, that we should bring forth fruit unto God. Romans 7:4
[2] For the love of Christ constraineth us; because we thus judge, that if one died for all, then were all dead: II Corinthians 5:14
[3] Paul, a servant of Jesus Christ, called to be an apostle, separated unto the gospel of God, Romans 1:1
[4] Paul, a servant of God, and an apostle of Jesus Christ, according to the faith of God's elect, and the acknowledging of the truth which is after godliness; Titus 1:1
[5] My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand. John 10:29
[6] What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? I Corinthians 6:19
[7] For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:10
[8] Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Matthew 19:6
[9] And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. Mark 10:8
[10] A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. John 13:34
[11] This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. 17These things I command you, that ye love one another. John 15:12, 17
[12] Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law. Romans 13:8
[13] But as touching brotherly love ye need not that I write unto you: for ye yourselves are taught of God to love one another. I Thessalonians 4:9
[14] For this is the message that ye heard from the beginning, that we should love one another. I John 3:11
[15] And this is his commandment, That we should believe on the name of his Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, as he gave us commandment. I John 3:23
[16] Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. I John 4:7
[17] Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another. 12No man hath seen God at any time. If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us. I John 4:11-12
[18] nd now I beseech thee, lady, not as though I wrote a new commandment unto thee, but that which we had from the beginning, that we love one another. II John 1:5
[19] Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another; Romans 12:10
[20] Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Ephesians 5:21
[21] Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble. I Peter 5:5
[22] And he sat down, and called the twelve, and saith unto them, If any man desire to be first, the same shall be last of all, and servant of all. Mark 9:35
[23] And whosoever of you will be the chiefest, shall be servant of all. Mark 10:44
[24] Then Peter opened his mouth, and said, Of a truth I perceive that God is no respecter of persons: Acts 10:34
[25] There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus. Galatians 3:28
[26] And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth. Genesis 1:28
[27] And all that dwell upon the earth shall worship him, whose names are not written in the book of life of the Lamb slain from the foundation of the world. Revelation 13:8
[28] And he is before all things, and by him all things consist. Colossians 1:17
[29] What is man, that thou art mindful of him? and the son of man, that thou visitest him? Psalm 8:4
[30] But one in a certain place testified, saying, What is man, that thou art mindful of him? or the son of man that thou visitest him? Hebrews 2:6
[31] And it came to pass, as her soul was in departing, (for she died) that she called his name Benoni: but his father called him Benjamin. Genesis 35:18
[32] And about the time of her death the women that stood by her said unto her, Fear not; for thou hast born a son. But she answered not, neither did she regard it. I Samuel 4:20
[33] And when Rachel saw that she bare Jacob no children, Rachel envied her sister; and said unto Jacob, Give me children, or else I die. Genesis 30:1
[34] Thus hath the Lord dealt with me in the days wherein he looked on me, to take away my reproach among men. Luke 1:25
[35] For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. 17For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved. John 3:16-17
[36] And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day. Genesis 1:31
[37] The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; 4That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 5To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Titus 2:3-5
[38] For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: 6Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement. 7Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. I Peter 3:5-7
[39] So it came to pass, when the king's commandment and his decree was heard, and when many maidens were gathered together unto Shushan the palace, to the custody of Hegai, that Esther was brought also unto the king's house, to the custody of Hegai, keeper of the women. Esther 2:8
[40] And it came to pass on the third day, when they were sore, that two of the sons of Jacob, Simeon and Levi, Dinah's brethren, took each man his sword, and came upon the city boldly, and slew all the males. Genesis 34:25
[41] And Jonadab, the son of Shimeah David's brother, answered and said, Let not my lord suppose that they have slain all the young men the king's sons; for Amnon only is dead: for by the appointment of Absalom this hath been determined from the day that he forced his sister Tamar. II Samuel 13:32
[42] If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; 29Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days. Deuteronomy 22:28-29
[43] Hookup culture hurts women. The book “Unprotected” by Psychiatrist Miriam Grossman explains biological reasons why sex outside marriage is so damaging. Having treated more than 2,000 women for depression and other psychological problems at a prestigious American university, she demonstrated that a woman can become very depressed when she realizes her boyfriend had no interest in her beyond sex.
[44] But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation; 16Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy. I Peter 1:15-16
[45] Jesus saith unto him, Have I been so long time with you, and yet hast thou not known me, Philip? he that hath seen me hath seen the Father; and how sayest thou then, Shew us the Father? John 14:9
[46] Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God: I Thessalonians 4:5
[47] Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. 29Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. Proverbs 31:28-29
[48] The LORD grant you that ye may find rest, each of you in the house of her husband. Ruth 1:9a
[49] https://nypost.com/2021/07/10/why-progressive-women-want-to-date-men-who-act-conservative/
[50] Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver. II Corinthians 9:7
[51] Which is as a bridegroom coming out of his chamber, and rejoiceth as a strong man to run a race. Psalm 19:5
[52] I am my beloved's, and his desire is toward me. Song of Solomon 7:10
[53] His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me. Song of Solomon 8:3
[54] There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. I Corinthians 7:34
[55] Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine. Song of Solomon 1:2
[56] They did eat, they drank, they married wives, they were given in marriage, Luke 17:27a
[57] And Jesus answering said unto them, The children of this world marry, and are given in marriage: Luke 20:34
[58] And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth. Genesis 1:28
[59] And I will make thee exceeding fruitful, and I will make nations of thee, and kings shall come out of thee. Genesis 17:6
[60] And Isaac called Jacob, and blessed him, and charged him, and said unto him, Thou shalt not take a wife of the daughters of Canaan. 2Arise, go to Padanaram, to the house of Bethuel thy mother's father; and take thee a wife from thence of the daughers of Laban thy mother's brother. 3And God Almighty bless thee, and make thee fruitful, and multiply thee, that thou mayest be a multitude of people; Genesis 28:1-3
[61] And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. Genesis 2:20
[62] And Boaz answered and said unto her, It hath fully been shewed me, all that thou hast done unto thy mother in law since the death of thine husband: and how thou hast left thy father and thy mother, and the land of thy nativity, and art come unto a people which thou knewest not heretofore. Ruth 2:11
[63] And the servant that was set over the reapers answered and said, It is the Moabitish damsel that came back with Naomi out of the country of Moab: 7And she said, I pray you, let me glean and gather after the reapers among the sheaves: so she came, and hath continued even from the morning until now, that she tarried a little in the house. Ruth 2:6-7
[64] And he said, Blessed be thou of the LORD, my daughter: for thou hast shewed more kindness in the latter end than at the beginning, inasmuch as thou followedst not young men, whether poor or rich. 11And now, my daughter, fear not; I will do to thee all that thou requirest: for all the city of my people doth know that thou art a virtuous woman. Ruth 3:10-11
[65] So when they had dined, Jesus saith to Simon Peter, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me more than these? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my lambs. 16He saith to him again the second time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my sheep. 17He saith unto him the third time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? Peter was grieved because he said unto him the third time, Lovest thou me? And he said unto him, Lord, thou knowest all things; thou knowest that I love thee. Jesus saith unto him, Feed my sheep. John 21:15-17
[66] For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. 17For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved. John 3:16-17
[67] Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned: 19For as by one man's disobedience many were made sinners, so by the obedience of one shall many be made righteous. Romans 5:12, 19
[68] Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me; Exodus 20:5
[69] Keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, and that will by no means clear the guilty; visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children, and upon the children's children, unto the third and to the fourth generation. Exodus 34:7
[70] The LORD is longsuffering, and of great mercy, forgiving iniquity and transgression, and by no means clearing the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation. Numbers 14:18
[71] Thou shalt not bow down thyself unto them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me, Deuteronomy 5:9
[72] Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. 29Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. Proverbs 31:28-29
[73] And this have ye done again, covering the altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more, or receiveth it with good will at your hand. 14Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. 15And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. 16For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously. Malachi 2:13-16
[74] The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun. Ecclesiastes 1:9
[75] A woman when she is in travail hath sorrow, because her hour is come: but as soon as she is delivered of the child, she remembereth no more the anguish, for joy that a man is born into the world. John 16:2
[76] But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire. Matthew 5:22
[77] But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. Hebrews 12:8
[78] Let people serve thee, and nations bow down to thee: be lord over thy brethren, and let thy mother's sons bow down to thee: cursed be every one that curseth thee, and blessed be he that blesseth thee. Genesis 27:29
[79] That upon you may come all the righteous blood shed upon the earth, from the blood of righteous Abel unto the blood of Zacharias son of Barachias, whom ye slew between the temple and the altar. Matthew 23:35
[80] And he sat down, and called the twelve, and saith unto them, If any man desire to be first, the same shall be last of all, and servant of all. Mark 9:35
[81] And whosoever of you will be the chiefest, shall be servant of all. Mark 10:44
[82] And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4
[83] Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife. I Corinthians 7:27
[84] The word “meet” means “suitable” or “appropriate,” Matthew 27:17-20 tells how a wife tried to help her husband avoid a horrible mistake. How could a habitual usurper be suitable? Women don’t always act in the spirit, of course, Acts 5:1-11 tells how a wife failed her husband by agreeing instead of protesting when he had the idea of sinning against God, but God’s promise of her suitability to help her husband means she isn’t a usurper.
[85] A habitual usurper is a “good thing?” Giving a man a usurping wife is a “favor of the Lord?”
[86] Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment. John 7:24
[87] For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man. 9Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man. I Corinthians 11:8-9
[88] he thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun. Ecclesiastes 1:9
[89] Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: 20For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God. James 1:19-20
[90] And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity. Matthew 7:23
[91] He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls. Proverbs 25:28
[92] Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart. II Timothy 2:22
[93] My brethren, have not the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory, with respect of persons. 9But if ye have respect to persons, ye commit sin, and are convinced of the law as transgressors. James 2:1, 9
[94] nd when Delilah saw that he had told her all his heart, she sent and called for the lords of the Philistines, saying, Come up this once, for he hath shewed me all his heart. Then the lords of the Philistines came up unto her, and brought money in their hand. Judges 16:18
[95] And Boaz answered and said unto her, It hath fully been shewed me, all that thou hast done unto thy mother in law since the death of thine husband: and how thou hast left thy father and thy mother, and the land of thy nativity, and art come unto a people which thou knewest not heretofore. 12The LORD recompense thy work, and a full reward be given thee of the LORD God of Israel, under whose wings thou art come to trust. Ruth 2:11-12
[96] There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health. Proverbs 12:18
[97] That their hearts might be comforted, being knit together in love, and unto all riches of the full assurance of understanding, to the acknowledgement of the mystery of God, and of the Father, and of Christ; Colossians 2:2
[98] If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. I John 1:9
[99] God setteth the solitary in families: he bringeth out those which are bound with chains: but the rebellious dwell in a dry land. Psalm 68:6
[100] Wherefore, my brethren, ye also are become dead to the law by the body of Christ; that ye should be married to another, even to him who is raised from the dead, that we should bring forth fruit unto God. Romans 7:4
[101] Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver. II Corinthians 9:7
posted by Bill Taylor at 8:29 AM
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