Tuesday, February 21, 2023

Messages to Help Teach Effective Marriage

Messages to Help Teach Effective Marriage

It is a great honor to labor together with God and with you at these meetings.  I appreciate it.

For we are labourers together with God: ye are God's husbandry, ye are God's building.  I Corinthians 3:9

I’m not a natural speaker, so I write out my messages.  This makes it easy to put them on the Internet.  This page has notes about them with links which make it easy to share them.

In addition to being on the web, the .doc files for the messages are in this shared public folder:

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1JQV9oEZwRL_H7Whck66UuRGruJQ2nfyk?usp=sharing

This link to page 4 shows that everything you do in marriage flows from what you believe about God.

If you want to skip the section about my background, click this link to go to the messages on page 4.

Clicking a footnote takes you to the reference.  The browser “back” button takes you back where you were.

February 10, 2024

Table of Contents

Messages to Help Teach Effective Marriage. 1

Background. 2

Personal Testimony. 2

God Changed our Direction. 3

Everything You Do Flows From Your Belief about God. 4

The Messages. 4

First Message – Christian marriages are powerful testimony to the lost for good or for bad. 4

What Should Pastors Teach Men?. 4

All Israel made David King with One Perfect Heart (1 Chr. 12:38) 5

Marriage is So Simple that the Bible explains it in One Verse. 5

How God’s Leaders Should Lead. 5

Second message – God Explained what happened to Women after the fall 5

Marriage and salvation are so similar that you can explain both in 60 seconds: 5

Exploring God’s Word Together 5

Head Knowledge and Heart Knowledge. 5

Love Your Wife as God Loves You. 6

Third message – What Wives need from their Husbands. 6

Sound-Bite Marriage. 6

Comparing Salvation with Marriage. 6

What My Wife Told Me Before We Were Married. 6

Why Johnny Lingo Paid Eight Cows for his Wife. 7

The Entire Gospel in Two Words – “and Peter”. 7

Why God Made Men and Women Think So Differently. 7

Fourth message - Head Knowledge and Heart Knowledge – Logic and Emotion. 7

Logic is Useful, but Scripture Isn’t Always Logical 8

Free Classes in Logic – Using Facts to reach Conclusions. 8

Using Scripture to Make Better Decisions. 8

Fifth Message – Marriage Going out of Style. 8

American Dating Culture Destroys God’s Simple Plan of Marriage. 8

It was the church, not society, which redefined marriage away. 9

Sixth Message – Comparing Marriage with Salvation. 9

What Fathers Should Teach Their Daughters. 9

Request for Help. 9

Working with you has been very helpful in clarifying my thoughts. 10

 

Background

I’ve made a living in software since June of 1964 – I go back to IBM punch cards.  My first computer at college had 28K, that’s thousands of bytes, not millions because memory cost ten cents per bit.  The biggest computer we had as we landed on the moon had 256K.  The memory cost $26,000 in 1963 dollars, $23,500,000 today.

When you use a smartphone, you hold in your hand more transistors than were in the entire world then.  We’ve made great technical progress and wealth has increased all over the world but that brings problems.  The Bible tells us that when the Jews obeyed God, they prospered, but when they felt successful, they forgot God, their society turned to idols, and other nations conquered them.  Are we any better?

My parents were missionaries.  I watched the Japanese go from the wreckage of WW II to 1st world in 30 years by following the Bible:

Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God. 2Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation. 3For rulers are not a terror to good works, but to the evil. Wilt thou then not be afraid of the power? do that which is good, and thou shalt have praise of the same: 4For he is the minister of God to thee for good. But if thou do that which is evil, be afraid; for he beareth not the sword in vain: for he is the minister of God, a revenger to execute wrath upon him that doeth evil.  Romans 13:1-4

Although the Japanese exported 15% of their economy, they imported 14% because they had no resources left in Japan – all the coal had been mined before WW II.  Government employees fed their kids on a 1% national margin.  They worked hard to encourage “good works” and to be a terror to the evil.

By the mid-1970s, Japan was wealthy enough that bureaucrats forgot the needs of society and started asking, “How do we benefit our agency?”  Bureaucrats are human; they want less work to do this year, more money next year, and a comfortable retirement as young as possible.  The economy grew for a while longer, but when the bureaucrats started looking out for themselves, the cost of government regulation got so high that Japan slid into the “lost decades“of economic stagnation. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lost_Decades

We know how to build roads, hospitals, schools, railroads, water, and electricity.  An honest bureaucracy helps get to 2nd world by setting priorities and focusing on making the economy more productive.

Once a country gets close to 1st world, the economy is far too complicated for an agency to manage.  Unless the government frees the economy and lets businesses try new ideas, the economy can’t grow.  Even the Chinese communists encouraged market-driven capitalism to get enough tax money to pay for a modern military.  Few countries do that - ambitious people come to America from all over the world to enjoy our more productive economy, but American bureaucrats are trying to regulate our economy to a stop.

The desire of rulers to have total control of all their subjects goes back at least to 1700 BC.  The Bible shows how Joseph helped Pharaoh own all the land, animals, and citizens of Egypt during the 7 years of famine that followed the 7 good years and gives other Biblical examples of selfish power-grabs:

https://successful-marriage.blogspot.com/2021/06/dont-step-in-holes.html#ownEverything

What Japanese, Chinese, Indian, and American bureaucracies do is very human and very destructive.

Personal Testimony

My parents led me to Christ when I was in 2nd grade.  My mother used these 150 questions to teach me what Christianity was all about, and my wife used them when teaching Sunday School.

https://successful-marriage.blogspot.com/2021/06/teaching-bible-through-150-questions.html#questions

Discussions about how to organize the Japan mission got so heated that in 1957 or 1958 I asked God not to call me to be a missionary.  I didn’t realize how wrong I was to ask that.  We came to America on furlough in 1959.  In the spring of 1960, I saw that most kids I knew weren’t following God’s commands in the Bible.  I decided to separate from them and committed myself to try to follow God when I was in 10th grade.  My wife was saved when she was 5 or 6; she remembers deciding to take God’s path when she was in 12th grade.

By the time we were married in 1971, most of our friends were already divorced.  We realized that God had given us something precious in our marriage but we couldn’t explain it.  American society was falling away from God as predicted in the Bible (2 Thess. 2:3[1], 2 Tim. 3:13[2]), so we started praying that God would bring revival.  God told us to study marriage.  We asked for revival; God told us again, so we started.

We hadn’t gotten far when her sister got a divorce and my brother got a divorce.  We had nothing helpful to say so we really studied marriage.  The Book of Jonah should have told us it would have been far better to start when God told us what He wanted us to do.

We’ve spent nearly 50 years trying to explain what God had in mind so others could enjoy the blessing God intended for all marriages.  We wish we had the inspiration God gave the Apostle Paul who got his magnificent epistles right in the very first draft.  We need all the help we can get.  We’ve worked with hundreds of people over the years.  We’ve been amazed how what seem to be tiny changes can make a message very much better.  Please help!  You can use Messenger to https://www.facebook.com/wataylor/

God Changed our Direction

We wrote a book WhatGodSaidAboutMarriage.docx .  It’s too big for a web page, but it’s in the shared drive.  A grandmother who read the chapter on being a husband asked, “Must I read the chapter on what a man expects from his wife?”  She had two married daughters; she knew what it said.  “Let me put it this way,” she told me.  “If my husband treated me as you say a husband should, I would not only be glad to give him what he wants, I would be proud to serve him in that way.”

The book was finished about 25 years ago.  I thought we were about done, but I heard an “all on the altar” sermon which reminded me that I had asked God please not to call me to be a missionary.  You can’t restrict God so I confessed my sin to Him (1 Jn. 1:9[3]).  We should confess our faults one to another (Jas. 5:16[4]), so I got permission from the pastor and confessed to the church.  A few weeks later, God called me to be a marriage evangelist.  The book wasn’t meant to be a series of messages so we had to start over from the beginning!

Five pastors have let me give messages over the years.  Around 2018, God gave me the Internet as a mission field.  Pastors in other countries translate at leisure, adjusting messages as the Holy Spirit leads to meet the needs of the people God has given them.  When people tell me something is hard to understand, I work to make it better and update the web site.

Nobody likes waiting, but if it’s before God’s time, nothing can make it happen.  When God’s time comes, nothing can stop it.  God offers rewards for waiting:

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.  Isaiah 40:31

Eagles soar without flapping their wings very much.  They can’t just go wherever or whenever they want; they must wait to ride the wind God sends.  There are few joys that match riding God’s winds when His time comes after years and years of faith-driven preparation!

We now attend Littleton Bible Baptist Church in Littleton, NH, USA.  This is their Facebook page:

https://www.facebook.com/LittletonBibleBaptistChurch

I preached on a Sunday evening from the 2nd message in Bro. Ekere’s series; you may have to slow it down:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fh1COpUsk5g

This is the Church youtube channel:

https://www.youtube.com/@littletonnhbbc7434

Most of the sermons are on the “Live” tab.

Everything You Do Flows From Your Belief about God

When we talk about marriage, we must explain that what you believe about God determines what you do.  God made both marriage and salvation and we must do them His way.  It’s hard to follow God’s commands unless you’re convinced that He is truly a God of love who cares about you and that He is also a Holy God who can’t bless you unless you follow His program.

This 10-word way to relate to God works for marriage and for daily life:

https://successful-marriage.blogspot.com/2018/12/what-drove-jesus-11-nobodies-to-turn.html#tenWordTheology

The Bible criticizes people who depend on “science falsely so called, (I Tim. 6:20-21[5])” but God has allowed scientists and astronomers to discover many facts of science which show the divine nature of the Bible.  This makes it easier to believe His Word and makes it harder to justify falling away.  The 40-minute message “The first three words”

https://successful-marriage.blogspot.com/2018/12/what-drove-jesus-11-nobodies-to-turn.html#first3Words

shows how discoveries in astronomy going back to Sir Isaac Newton confirm the Bible.  That’s a 40 minute talk with a lot of science in it.  If you’re ready to accept “God is Great,” you can go directly to the next part which reviews the science and discusses the last seven words:

https://successful-marriage.blogspot.com/2018/12/what-drove-jesus-11-nobodies-to-turn.html#second3Words

The Messages

Each message takes about 20 minutes, but each section has extra material to support the message.

God gave us both salvation and marriage.  If we try to get to Heaven our own way, we go to Hell when we die.  If we try to do marriage our own way, we can make life Hell on earth.  If lost people see that Christian marriages can’t handle this life any better than they can, why should they care what we say about the life to come?  Our churches can’t grow without being built on solid marriages.

First Message – Christian marriages are powerful testimony to the lost for good or for bad

The page has an Introduction which discusses the role of the Pastor as a “friend of the bridegroom.”  It runs until the heading “Welcome, my brothers in Christ!” which begins the message:

https://successful-marriage.blogspot.com/2023/02/hear-voice-of-bridegroom-concerning.html#longerVersion

What Should Pastors Teach Men?

Proverbs 31:1[6] shows that Mrs. Lemuel taught her son how to nourish and cherish his future wife.  Not all mothers are able to do that, so pastors must teach as much as possible:

https://successful-marriage.blogspot.com/2023/02/hear-voice-of-bridegroom-concerning.html#teachingMen

All Israel made David King with One Perfect Heart (1 Chr. 12:38[7])

In the same way, bride and groom must approach Holy Matrimony with one perfect heart.  They must keep their hearts perfect with the Lord their God and with each other all their days.

https://successful-marriage.blogspot.com/2023/02/hear-voice-of-bridegroom-concerning.html#perfectHearts

Marriage is So Simple that the Bible explains it in One Verse

Simple does not mean easy.  It’s simple to walk from Cairo to Cape Town – put one front in front of the other, keep it up until you get there – but not easy.  Marriage is a lifetime journey, not a stroll across a continent.

https://successful-marriage.blogspot.com/2023/02/hear-voice-of-bridegroom-concerning.html#oneVerse

How God’s Leaders Should Lead

God expects His leaders to lead by serving their followers instead of by commanding.  God holds leaders accountable for how they lead; He holds followers accountable for how they follow.

https://successful-marriage.blogspot.com/2018/12/what-drove-jesus-11-nobodies-to-turn.html#servantLeaders

Second message – God Explained what happened to Women after the fall

God explained what men and women must know about women to have happy marriages.  Most marriage issues come about because men haven’t understood God’s lessons about how to receive the joy women bring to men who love and appreciate them.

https://successful-marriage.blogspot.com/2023/02/hear-voice-of-bridegroom-concerning.html#decreed

 Marriage and salvation are so similar that you can explain both in 60 seconds:

https://successful-marriage.blogspot.com/2023/02/hear-voice-of-bridegroom-concerning.html#oneMinuteMarriage

Exploring God’s Word Together

Exploring God’s Word together will help him dwell according to knowledge of her as God commands (I Pe. 3:7[8]).  A wife can’t follow her husband unless she knows where he’s going.  She can’t obey what she doesn’t understand.  Men and women have different ways of thinking.  The Bible has a lot to say about how husbands and wives should work together to build their home.  Discussing these Bible verses together will draw you closer to each other by drawing you closer to God:

https://successful-marriage.blogspot.com/2023/02/hear-voice-of-bridegroom-concerning.html#discussionPoints

Head Knowledge and Heart Knowledge

Are you convinced that God really is good?  The root cause of marriage difficulties lies in the difference between head knowledge and heart knowledge.  Head knowledge is what we know (2 Tim. 3:7[9]); heart knowledge is what we are (Pr. 27:3[10]).  Most Christians have important head knowledge about God and about marriage that hasn’t made its way into their hearts:

https://successful-marriage.blogspot.com/2023/02/hear-voice-of-bridegroom-concerning.html#headKnowledge

Love Your Wife as God Loves You

God expects a man to love his wife without reservation.  A wife can’t comfort her husband and bless him as God planned unless she is convinced that he loves her with everything he has.  This article shows how God expects you to love Him and others:

https://successful-marriage.blogspot.com/2023/02/hear-voice-of-bridegroom-concerning.html#loveTheLordThyGod

Loving God with your soul is mentioned 8 times, mind 3 times, strength twice, might once, and so on.  God expects His people to love Him with their entire being!  Our goal should be to follow God and love others as God loves us.  Paul put it, “I seek not your's but you (2 Cor. 12:14[11]).”  A wife seeks not what belongs to her husband, but she wants him.

Third message – What Wives need from their Husbands

God expects a man to love his wife as Christ loves His church:

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.  Ephesians 5:25-28

Jesus presents us to Himself a “glorious church” in verse 27.  Every man wants to present to himself a “glorious wife,” and there’s a simple way to have one – convince her that he’s convinced that she is a glorious wife.  This article explains how to do that.

https://successful-marriage.blogspot.com/2023/02/hear-voice-of-bridegroom-concerning.html#whatWomenNeed

Sound-Bite Marriage

In the Internet age, people expect everything to be short.  Salvation is 2 words, getting married is 3 words, staying married is 2 words, etc.

https://successful-marriage.blogspot.com/2023/02/hear-voice-of-bridegroom-concerning.html#soundBiteMarriage

Comparing Salvation with Marriage

This section has many short paragraphs showing how salvation and marriage are alike.

https://successful-marriage.blogspot.com/2023/02/hear-voice-of-bridegroom-concerning.html#marriageAndSalvation

What My Wife Told Me Before We Were Married

After God told her not to marry her college boyfriend, my wife asked God to choose her husband.  God couldn’t give her to me without teaching me about her so He had the Holy Spirit lead her to tell me important facts about her which became the foundation of our marriage.

https://successful-marriage.blogspot.com/2018/12/what-drove-jesus-11-nobodies-to-turn.html#ToldMeBefore

What she said made me confident that I could make her happy and made me very much want to marry her.  Other women have used her words to convince a man that he will be able to make her happy which will make him very happy indeed.  There is no joy this side of Heaven for a man that compares with having a women delight in belonging to him and in giving herself to him.

I know that what she said was from the Holy Spirit because I understood it.  After we were married, it took a couple of years for me to begin to understand her womanly way of talking.

Why Johnny Lingo Paid Eight Cows for his Wife

In many ways, a wife is what her husband makes her.  Her husband changes her view of her value by the way he treats her and by the way he talks about her.  The better her husband treats her, the better wife she becomes.  Johnny Lingo paid 8 cows for his wife even though he could have gotten her for 1 or 2 because he wanted an 8-cow wife:

https://successful-marriage.blogspot.com/2013/10/why-johnny-lingo-paid-eight-cows-for.html

A wife can make her husband no happier than he makes her (Ecc. 9:9[12]).  Proclaiming her great value to everyone makes her happy in feeling valued and that makes him happy.

The Entire Gospel in Two Words – “and Peter”

We can sum up the entire Gospel in just two words – “and Peter.”  Peter denied Jesus three times and felt terrible.  After His resurrection, Jesus had the angel tell the women to be sure to include Peter to draw him back into the group of disciples, AND HE WENT FISHING INSTEAD!  Jesus went after him once again to draw him back in.  Jesus wants to draw everyone else in as well, and we get the privilege of telling them!

https://successful-marriage.blogspot.com/2021/05/the-gospel-of-jesus-death-resurrection.html

Why God Made Men and Women Think So Differently

God made men and women think differently to help us be fruitful and multiply.  Instead of trusting that a loving God created us different to bless each other, many complain that God made their spouses incorrectly.  Women complain that men are too possessive, too controlling, and can’t find anything in a refrigerator.  Men complain that women are too emotional and talk too much.

Very few people can explain the way they think.  This paper discusses the different ways male and female brains work to help couples talk about how they think.  Understanding draws them closer.

https://successful-marriage.blogspot.com/2018/12/what-drove-jesus-11-nobodies-to-turn.html#thinkDifferent

Psalm 68:6[13] explains that God loved us enough to put solitary people in families.  If you don’t see how something about your spouse’s basic nature blesses you and your family, that’s your problem, not God’s.  It took many years for us to figure out how some of my wife’s characteristics blessed our family, but things got smoother once we saw that God had given us different brains to bless each other out of love for us.

Fourth message - Head Knowledge and Heart Knowledge – Logic and Emotion

Head knowledge is what we know (2 Tim. 3:7[14]); heart knowledge is what we feel or what we are in our innermost selves (Pr. 23:7[15]).  “Logic” is how we think about facts we know and reach conclusions.  “Emotion” describes feelings that come from our hearts.  Feelings and emotions can’t always be explained logically, but we should try to understand logical reasons for our feelings before acting on them.

This message shows how logic and emotion together drive marriages and keep them going and shows how relying too much on logic makes it hard to have faith in God as God requires.  Relying too much on emotion can also be hard on marriages.  Finding the right balance can be hard.

https://successful-marriage.blogspot.com/2023/02/hear-voice-of-bridegroom-concerning.html#headKnowledge

Logic is Useful, but Scripture Isn’t Always Logical

But we preach Christ crucified, unto the Jews a stumblingblock, and unto the Greeks foolishness;  I Corinthians 1:23

The Gospel of Christ being born as a man followed by His death, burial, and resurrection is foolishness to the Greeks because Greek logic does not permit Jesus to be both God and man.  This is logically impossible.  Paul used logic to persuade men to lead them to Christ, but Christianity is also based on faith.  There can be no logical proof of Christ’s message because if the Gospel could be proved, faith would not be needed.

This document discusses other logical contradictions in scripture which we must believe based on faith.

https://successful-marriage.blogspot.com/2023/02/hear-voice-of-bridegroom-concerning.html#illogicalBlends

Free Classes in Logic – Using Facts to reach Conclusions

Here’s a free online course[16] which explains how to use logic with facts to reach conclusions and gives a number of problems to give you practice.  There are logic quizzes in this folder
https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/10EfwNuJ5CQ1ostJk7TVqQoy1HIqZBb5Y?usp=sharing
which can be printed and shared.  Being able to think logically helps with scripture understanding, helps us make better decisions, and may also help get a job given our technical civilization.

Using Scripture to Make Better Decisions

Management experts talk of “decision quality.”  The idea is that the more facts you have, the more likely the decision will be right.  That sounds wonderful, but doesn’t work for really important decisions.  This article shows how to use Biblical principles to evaluate your plans to see if they line up with the Word of God.

https://successful-marriage.blogspot.com/2023/02/hear-voice-of-bridegroom-concerning.html#willOfGod

 

Fifth Message – Marriage Going out of Style

Marriages used to be based only on logic.  Women weren’t strong enough to farm, so a parent finding a husband for a daughter wanted a strong farmer who could live the 20 years it would take to get her children big enough to care for themselves.  Love, appreciation, affection, praise, and other matters were unimportant.

The industrial revolution increased wealth enough that starvation wasn’t as likely, so parents could consider a child’s feelings in finding someone to marry.  As society became even richer, however, young people are deciding not to marry at all.  This message explains some of the cultural changes that have made marriage much less common in the West.  The hope is that if people can understand how Western culture is weakening marriages, they can fight against it.

https://successful-marriage.blogspot.com/2023/02/hear-voice-of-bridegroom-concerning.html#noMarriage

American Dating Culture Destroys God’s Simple Plan of Marriage

More than 40 years ago, I warned our church teens about dangers of the American dating culture.  I was familiar with arranged marriages in Asia and knew that marriages were more likely to succeed when young people involved their parents in choosing marriage partners.

As American culture spreads via the Internet, Japanese young people are deciding that relationships are too much trouble and aren’t marrying at all.  The American dating scene has led to college kids having casual sex which leads to emotional damage and makes it hard for them to enter into God-honoring marriages.

The burden of teaching falls on parents.  This paper describes the dangers of the American dating culture.

https://successful-marriage.blogspot.com/2021/06/american-dating-culture-destroys-gods.html

It was the church, not society, which redefined marriage away

As morality collapsed and hookup culture took over the college scene, we thought that the church was following 25 years behind society in accepting sexual immorality.  This paper explains how the mainstream church led the redefinition of marriage and destroyed it back in 1950 and society followed:

https://successful-marriage.blogspot.com/2021/06/dont-step-in-holes.html#noMarriage

Sixth Message – Comparing Marriage with Salvation

When we give God’s Simple Plan of Salvation, many refuse to accept it.  We have enough difficulties with salvation that God knew we couldn’t handle 2 plans, ne for salvation and another plan for marriage.  In His wisdom, God created us so that one plan works for both salvation and marriage.  This message lists man yways in which marriage and salvation are alike.

https://successful-marriage.blogspot.com/2023/02/hear-voice-of-bridegroom-concerning.html#marriageAndSalvation

What Fathers Should Teach Their Daughters

Although the Bible commands older women to teach younger women about men, fathers can also teach their daughters important information to prepare them to be God’s good and perfect gifts to their husbands.

https://successful-marriage.blogspot.com/2023/02/hear-voice-of-bridegroom-concerning.html#fathersTeach

Seventh Message – Developing Church Leaders

The Bible is clear about the qualifications for church leaders.  This talk summarizes the requirements and gives a plan how church leaders can make sure that young leaders increase as older leaders decrease (Jn. 3:28-30[17]).

https://successful-marriage.blogspot.com/2023/02/hear-voice-of-bridegroom-concerning.html#developLeaders

How God Leads

A Godly leader serves his people.  A man serves his wife, a mother serves her children, a military leader takes care of his men, and a boss takes care of his people. Those who want to lead the most should serve the most.

https://successful-marriage.blogspot.com/2004/12/what-bible-teaches-about-leadership.html

shows many examples of how God leads His people in detail.

Marriage disappearing in the Western world. 

We must labor to keep Holy Matrimony:

https://successful-marriage.blogspot.com/2023/02/hear-voice-of-bridegroom-concerning.html#noMarriage

Teaching Holy Matrimony

Churches and parents must teach that Godly marriage vows are important to God, offer the couple a taste of the joys of heaven, and have a profound effect on how well children’s lives turn out.

The Wedding Wisdom booklet helps parents or older couples teach the simplicity of Christian marriage which gives both parties a taste of the joys of heaven - the Bible explains it in one verse:

https://successful-marriage.blogspot.com/2021/06/wedding-wisdom-simplicity-of-marriage.html

Pastors tell us that they can’t find a good premarital counseling book.  Sound Bite Marriage has material to stimulate 4 to 6 hours of discussion of the simplicity of marriage as God defined it.  Salvation is two words, sexuality is 3 words, getting married is 3 words, staying married is 2 words, etc.:

https://successful-marriage.blogspot.com/2021/06/sound-bite-marriage.html

Request for Help

I would appreciate it if you could send this to whomever you think might be willing to help make the material better.  Perhaps the woman who asked questions last Saturday?  I did a lot of work on the message because of her question.

 

I have been greatly honored and blessed by Bro. Ekere’s ministry.  Your messages and questions have been very helpful.  You showed that my wife and I needed to emphasize the LOGIC of Christianity which guides us as we seek God’s blessing by following the paths He has defined for each of us.  I would appreciate it if you would read what I’ve added to our material because of your help.

 

This one-page list of God’s commands for us to choose to love Him shows the LOGIC behind choosing to let His love guide us along the paths He chooses for us:

https://successful-marriage.blogspot.com/2023/02/hear-voice-of-bridegroom-concerning.html#loveTheLordThyGod

 

Insights from your culture will help.  A young couple who grew up in abusive homes, joined the Mormon church, left Mormonism and accepted salvation several years after marrying pointed out that describing marriage from God’s ideal view would have discouraged them if they’d seen it before accepting Christ.  We’re trying to show how Jesus’ power of forgiveness offers HOPE in dealing with marriage problems and any other difficulties by accepting Him.  Does this section make sense from YOUR culture’s view?

https://successful-marriage.blogspot.com/2018/12/what-drove-jesus-11-nobodies-to-turn.html#wentAfter

 

I can’t thank you enough for your help.  I will gratefully receive any other comments, questions, or suggestions.  You can send me Facebook messages at http://www.facebook.com/wataylor  I am not nearly as skilled in Facebook as Bro. Ekere, so it may be better to send email to wataylor@alum.mit.edu

 

Working with you has been very helpful in clarifying my thoughts

 

The sexual behavior of women is a primary factor in whether a society succeeds of falls.  If a woman doesn't insist that a man grow up, get a job, and marry her before having sex with him, there's no reason for him to grow up or to commit himself to taking care of her.

https://thetransformedwife.com/the-sexual-behavior-of-women-is-the-decisive-factor-in-cultural-success/

 

The fatherless are mentioned 43 times in the Bible - that's a lot!  His command to “Love one another” appears only 12 times even though having His people love each other is extremely important to God.  His command, “Love the LORD thy God” appears only 9 times.  Is God more concerned that His people treat the fatherless properly than whether they love each other or Him?

https://successful-marriage.blogspot.com/2021/06/gods-concern-for-fatherless.html

 

I understood the cost of fatherlessness better when I met a single mother in an airport.  She told me she’d pressed her son to join the Army “Because as a woman, there’s no way I can teach him how to be a man.”  Pr. 31:1 teaches that she CAN teach him how to nourish and cherish his future wife, but she can’t teach him much unless her husband forces her sons to honor and appreciate her.

 

Women in all churches must explain men to their daughters.  This note uses a story from Genesis to explain an unsaved man’s attitude toward forced sex.

https://successful-marriage.blogspot.com/2018/12/what-drove-jesus-11-nobodies-to-turn.html#lightlyLien

 

Fathers can also teach their daughters important information to prepare them to be God’s good and perfect gifts to their husbands.

https://successful-marriage.blogspot.com/2023/02/hear-voice-of-bridegroom-concerning.html#fathersTeach



[1] Let no man deceive you by any means: for that day shall not come, except there come a falling away first, and that man of sin be revealed, the son of perdition;  II Thessalonians 2:3

[2] But evil men and seducers shall wax worse and worse, deceiving, and being deceived.  II Timothy 3:13

[3] If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.  I John 1:9

[4] Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.  James 5:16

[5] O Timothy, keep that which is committed to thy trust, avoiding profane and vain babblings, and oppositions of science falsely so called: 21Which some professing have erred concerning the faith. Grace be with thee. Amen.  I Timothy 6:20-21

[6] The words of king Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him.  Proverbs 31:1

[7] All these men of war, that could keep rank, came with a perfect heart to Hebron, to make David king over all Israel: and all the rest also of Israel were of one heart to make David king.  I Chronicles 12:38

[8] Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.  I Peter 3:7

[9] Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.  II Timothy 3:7

[10] A stone is heavy, and the sand weighty; but a fool's wrath is heavier than them both.  Proverbs 27:3

[11] Behold, the third time I am ready to come to you; and I will not be burdensome to you: for I seek not your's but you: for the children ought not to lay up for the parents, but the parents for the children.  II Corinthians 12:14

[12] Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun.  Ecclesiastes 9:9

[13] God setteth the solitary in families: he bringeth out those which are bound with chains: but the rebellious dwell in a dry land.  Psalm 68:6

[14] Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.  II Timothy 3:7

[15] For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee.  Proverbs 23:7

[16] https://www.khanacademy.org/test-prep/lsat/lsat-lessons/logical-reasoning/a/logical-reasoning--article--getting-started

[17] Ye yourselves bear me witness, that I said, I am not the Christ, but that I am sent before him. 29He that hath the bride is the bridegroom: but the friend of the bridegroom, which standeth and heareth him, rejoiceth greatly because of the bridegroom's voice: this my joy therefore is fulfilled. 30He must increase, but I must decrease.  John 3:28-30

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